10 Tips for a Great Gay Wedding - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog

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10 Tips for a Great Gay Wedding

Gay weddings are simply more fun.

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As anyone who’s been to one can attest to, gay weddings are simply more fun. Here’s how to make sure yours is too.

10 Tips for a Great Gay Wedding

1  |  Put some love into the ceremony

Think about it – everyone is here for you, to celebrate your marriage and your commitment.  The party will be great but I can promise that if you have a thoughtful, meaningful ceremony, the party will be even greater.  Consider hiring a “Celebrant” to create a personalized ceremony for you.

2  |  Go gay-friendly

The wedding industry is STILL so bride-centric!  In NYC you may not encounter discrimination but you may encounter some accidental slip ups and references to the bride and groom.  To minimize this, check out your local Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce for amazingly talented gay-owned wedding resources including wedding planners, photography and flowers.

10 Tips for a Great Gay Wedding

3  |  Gay weddings should never be boring

Many gay weddings skip the typical traditions such as dancing with parents, cake cuttings, garter and bouquet tosses and more.  But your guests actually look forward to those things and it helps make the evening flow.  If you take a pass on some traditions, add in a substitute.  Consider drag kings, cabaret, dancers, photo booth or other forms of entertainment that reflect your own interests and personality and present conversation starters for your guests.

4  |  Personalize

Hire a graphic designer to create your own custom wedding logo which then carries throughout your wedding materials.  That logo can be on your invitations, ceremony program, seating cards, menu and much more to “brand” your wedding in style.  This makes for instant, cohesive, thematic décor!

5  |  Flow

Even though you’re the guests of honor, you are also the host of this party.  No matter how good the food or the entertainment is, if your guests are waiting too long for a cocktail or you run out of hors d’oeuvres, that’s what they’ll remember.  Pay attention to the details around flow – make sure you have adequate greeters and signage so your guests know where to go.  Ensure plenty of bartenders so your guests never have to wait.  Anticipate heavy traffic areas and plan accordingly.

6  |  Be yourself

This is your wedding, not your sister’s, your mom’s or anyone else’s!  Express yourself, be non-traditional if you want to be, and don’t let anyone tell you what to do!

10 Tips for a Great Gay Wedding7  |  Relax

If wedding planning is stressing you out or you’re just too overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to call in the help of a wedding planner.  Services can vary and many planners can accommodate any budget or type of wedding.

8  |  Have two aisles

Why limit yourself to one aisle when there are two brides? If you only have one, you have to decide who is the last one down the aisle, thereby playing more of a traditional “bridal” role.  Have two and walk simultaneously if the layout works well in your venue.

9  |  Only invite those who are happy for you

If you have any friends, family members or co-workers who aren’t excited for your wedding or don’t believe in same-sex marriage, screw ‘em!  Don’t invite them!  The last thing you need on your wedding day is to be self-conscious and worry about what someone else is thinking or saying.  Invite only those who are thrilled to support you.

10  |  Don’t forget to protect your family

Not to be a downer, but your marriage won’t be recognized by the Federal government or in many other states.  Hire an attorney and a financial adviser (like this one) who understands LGBT family law to draw up the documents to help protect your new family so you can have peace of mind when you travel the world together as newlyweds!

Bernadette Coveney Smith is founder and president of 14 Stories and the Gay Wedding Institute, and author of the book and the app, Gay Wedding Confidential. Bernadette is also the expert advice blogger on gay weddings for TheKnot and a blogger for the Huffington Post.  Bernadette is a partner in Fourteen, a ready to wear clothing line of suits, tuxedos and accessories for lesbian, queer and trans weddings. 


Bernadette’s company, 14 Stories has offices in Boston and New York and, since 2004,  has produced hundreds of gay and lesbian weddings with couples from 33 U.S. states.


Bernadette’s expertise has been sought after by the Today Show, National Public Radio, the BBC, the New York Times, the Washington Post, CNN, Travel and Leisure and National Public Radio among others.

Reader Discussion: 3 Comments

  1. In your article, you stated that for a gay wedding you should Hire a graphic designer to create your own custom wedding logo which then carries throughout your wedding materials. One of my friends from high school is getting married and his husband requested that I help with the wedding. I wonder if most wedding venues have to change anything to be able to host a gay wedding.

  2. Hannah Mayers

    A wedding is a “special and memorable occasion.” It should be full of happiness and positive feeling. I love tips number 3 and 9 😉

  3. Good tips for any gay wedding! Especially tip #9. Only invite those who support you! Sorry family members, you're not invited. This being done will give everyone a little more peace. You don't want to see me get married? Well I don't want you there anyways!

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