Six Ways to Find Your Soulmate


6 Ways to Find Your Soulmate


4. Don’t be afraid to make the first move

It’s true that there will be some guys who will be turned off by this, or who will decline because they like the chase more than the catch, but let’s be real: you’re a smart, confident and desirable woman, and you probably don’t want to end up with those guys anyway!

6 Ways to Find Your Soulmate

I have often made the first move in my own dating life, and trust me, there have been way more no’s than yes’s. In fact, sometimes it’s been kind of a disaster, but guess what? I’ve lived to tell the tale. Yes, it hurts, and yes, it can be a little awkward, but I’ve never regretted doing it. Seriously!

The momentary discomfort has always given way to relief that I know where he stands and a certain amount of pride that I did it. Plus, there’s an equal chance that he’ll appreciate you taking the heat off of him and respect you more for knowing what you want and going after it.

Regardless of what men might want you to think, most of them are tender, flawed, uncertain squishy teddy bears on the inside, and just as prone to heartache as you are. So don’t always expect them to put it out there when you are just as capable of doing so.

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Raised in California and North Carolina, Jen is both an actress and a writer. She loves writing fiction, especially for young adults, and exercising her non-fiction muscles through Urbanette and her chocolate blog: Chocofiles. Jen also loves adventures, yoga, live music and spontaneous dance parties.


  1. Jennifer varner

    Love it! 💖 Such a well thought out article 💖

  2. Mary Beyer

    Be prepared to compromise!!! #soulmate

  3. Thank you so much! Your article put so many things in perspective for me.

  4. Interesting article! It’s worth reading. Simple but enjoyable.

  5. Della Martin

    More often than not, we overlook the signals of incompatibility and settle for less. These are all helpful, Jennifer!

  6. Zoraida Martin

    Soulmate?! I think it’s a dopey concept…

  7. Rosalia Russell

    I wonder — what’s the difference between soulmate and life partner?! 🤔

  8. Lucy

    I want to find my soulmate, someone who deserves the very best from me (and vice versa)

  9. Elizabeth Gonzalez

    To find your soulmate, be selfless! 💗

  10. Carmen Griffin

    I’ve always believed that my soulmate is someone who meets my unconscious list of traits I’m looking for in a partner…

  11. Karen Abeyta

    Thanks for the advice! Going out now to find my soulmate LOL 😍 😍

  12. Andrea Jones

    Go out alone and be a magnet 😘😝💞✡️

  13. Connie Schmidt

    I definitely agree with tip no. 2. Love and respect for yourself is the most important!

  14. Arlene Davis

    Spot on! Thanks for the tips 😍😘😊

  15. I enjoyed reading this. I’ve been on the hunt for my soul mate all my life, and only now just realized I’ve been going at it all wrong! Thank you so much!

  16. Maxine Ford

    This is pretty awesome! I’m having a trouble when I’m dating. I thought I was ugly, but I guess there’s something wrong with me. It is not my physical feature but, it’s inside of me.

  17. Esther Devine

    Being true to someone can gain trust. In a relationship, trust is very important. So, if you’re planning to find your soulmate, it’s better that you’re true at the very beginning to avoid false hopes.

  18. Joan Morales

    I think going out alone is a good idea. If you go out alone, you can have the chance of getting a date. Men prefer to date women who’s all alone than women with a squad because sometimes, their squad is quite irritating.

  19. Brittany West

    These 6 ways in finding soulmates can be a good guide, but these doesn’t mean that you should stick with these.

  20. Marjory Brooks

    Searching for your soulmate is not as easy as everyone thinks. It takes time and not just on your 3 dates. When you find yourself one, you should accept the everything about the person so that he’ll do the same thing for you.

  21. Maria Rapier

    I’ve tried so much just to look for my soulmate. I hope this article will help me now, Where are you, my love? Lol

  22. Oxi Harger

    Thanks for this great article! I’m searching for love, and this article will surely help me with my mission. Lol 😜

  23. A soulmate is not really my thing. I don’t know if it’s true or not. Maybe I’ll believe in this if I find a one for myself.

  24. Lisa Bryson

    Go out, travel and have some alone time. This will truly help you to move on and remove negativity in your life. Your soulmate may find its way to you.

  25. Florence Frederick

    I really don’t know what to say… Really?! A girl should be the one to take the first move?! No… I don’t think so. 😶

  26. Deanna Woods

    I’m afraid that everything will not work according to my plans. I’m the person who always thinks about my future. What if it won’t work? Gosh! Positivity, please! 😧

  27. Joyce McAllister

    I’m taking care myself because I love myself. It’s up to the guy who I’m going to date on how he will take care of me. 😉

  28. Eloise Ferris

    I’m not the type of girl who really does the first move, but I think it’s time for a change. Lol 😜

  29. Francis Vest

    This article makes me want to go on a date this Saturday night… 😁

  30. Genie Mackenzie

    Oh, yes. Dating is really fun!

  31. Helen Boone

    Making the first move is never wrong! Some girls should try this!

  32. April Henry

    It’s important that you already moved on from your past because it can ruin your future relationship.

  33. Julean

    It’s just a guideline, it’s up to you if you’re going to follow these or not.

  34. Edna Badillo

    Worth reading!

  35. For people who are seeking for love, this is a must read! Learned a lot from this, thanks, Urbanette!

  36. Linda Williams

    Free yourself from any negativity from your past relationship. It’s time to move on girl, don’t let your ex- boyfriend ruin your future!

  37. Veola Sancho

    Yes, It’s true. If I’m a guy and I see a girl sitting, but she’s busy doing something on her phone, I won’t bother her.

  38. Luisa Rodriguez

    Going out alone is a bright idea! I never tried that in my life. I think it’s the best way for me to find my new love.

  39. Kimberly Holder

    It’s hard to regain yourself after a hurtful breakup, but what is harder is to love someone again because you’re afraid of getting hurt again.

  40. Ani Hoker

    Being worthy of love is something that you can’t feel, it’s something that you need to tell yourself. Start to look for your future, let go of the past and move forward.

  41. Eloisa Clay

    Everyone is worth it. You are worth it, you are always worth it. No matter how ugly past you have, you’re worth to love.

  42. Katherine Donnelly

    If a guy sees you on how to take care of yourself, he’ll do the same way to you, because he knows how much you value yourself.

  43. Kseniya Tomlin

    Being a girl, and doing the first move is a little too hard. I don’t agree with that. We, girls, should be the one getting approached, and not like we’re the ones who need to approach a guy.

  44. Jesse Wyss

    I dated a guy for 3 months, he’s nice on our 1st 3 dates, but then, I can’t accept the fact that he’s always late on our dates, and I’m the one who’s paying for all those dates. I mean, should I accept him as that? I think if that’s the case, it’s just right that I dumped him.

  45. Jessie Fernande

    I remember the night where I went to the bar just to look for a guy. Lol luckily, I met a guy who’s simple yet romantic.. little did I know, he’s gay.

  46. Yuliya Bruce

    Not everyone believes in soulmates, but thus article is applicable for searching for their soulmates and for non-believers.

  47. Lana Wiliam

    It’s not bad to follow these steps, but looking for you soulmate has no dos and don’t. If the guy is your fate, let it be.

  48. Alena Martin

    Yay! I’m very excited to meet my soulmate!!!! Thanks Urbanette!!

  49. Nataliya Smith

    That is why honesty is important even on the first date. If your date can’t handle you, look for someone who can accept you for who you are. It’s vice versa.

  50. Bela Christo

    Love is not being true to your partner, it is also about accepting your partner for who he is.

  51. Anila William

    Open your heart, you can’t love someone if you’re not ready to love again. Heal yourself before getting into a relationship.

  52. Jurik Smith

    OMG! Thanks for this! I hop this will help me to look for a new partner.

  53. Angelo Henderso

    I don’t believe in soulmate thingy. If you want the guy, go ask him out. It’s not abound the gender, it’s about your wants. You can never have the man you want if you’re not doing something.

  54. Selli Coaze

    It’s true! We girls should not be afraid of making the first move. How can we find our soulmate if we’re just waiting for them> destiny won’t work without effort!

  55. Cristina Joseff

    I once tried to go out all by myself, it is pretty fun. You girls should try it. There’s a lot of men in the sea. *winks*

  56. Nancy Smith

    Going out alone is never boring. Most of the time I go out with myself. At first, I thought it was boring, and it won’t work., but then I realize going out alone is more enjoyable than going out with a squad.

  57. Maria Bruce

    Your articles are rock Urbanette! Thanks for the very informative articles. Love lots!

  58. Juli Woods

    Wow! A very nice article! Thanks for this Urbanette! Will share this with my friends as well. More power!

  59. Hena Taylor

    In dating, being honest is important. Don’t be afraid to get rejected as long as you’re being true to yourself.

  60. Lusi Martin

    Take care of yourself because you love yourself, not because you want to have a boyfriend.

  61. Quin Meri

    I think I should try to make the first move for me to have a boyfriend. Lol

  62. Ana Brose

    It’s true… How can you find the right man for you, if you’re not ready to love again?

  63. Jenifer Jeni

    Let go of the past, face your present and look forward to a better future.

  64. Honey Smith

    When dating, just be true to yourself. A man that really loves you will accept you for who you are.

  65. Jeni Morgan

    A good article for people who are seeking for love. This is not only applicable to women but as well to men.

  66. Great article, Jennifer! I had never looked into the concept of soul mates before. I feel many people struggle with wanting one at one time and another at another and it can often lead to dissatisfaction in marriages…

  67. Candis Melton

    I didn’t believe in soul mates until I bumped into mine. I agree with all your points! 😉

  68. Different things work for different people. There’s nothing wrong adopting these tips 🙂

  69. Olive Williams

    Insightful article! I’m fortunate, I have my soulmate and life partner 😍💖

  70. Carrie Bleau

    I found a lot of value in this article. I particularly agree with loving yourself and deciding that you are worth it!!!

  71. Sherry Manust

    For me, soulmate means partnership. I’ve had a few: my bestfriend, my confidant and my romantic partner.

  72. Wilma Moore

    I never think that I can find ways in finding a soulmate. I mean I have this thinking it just happens when least expected. Nice read, still.

  73. Kelly Gonzales

    Finding a soulmate entails preparation and it includes understanding oneself. Loving and treating oneself with respect is the fundamental step. One needs to define the qualities he wants and seek for in someone.

  74. Evelyn Harris

    I think developing emotional intelligence is an essential key to finding one’s soulmate!

  75. Finding a soulmate can be frustrating. It needs self-examination, patience and emotional maturity.

  76. Naincy Winget

    Thanks for this great article!. I need someone in my life who can occupied my heart with love and caring and I want to be the same.

  77. Melani Kalev

    Great advice! Though I wouldn’t call it a quest for finding a soulmate because I think that might make the mission of finding someone psychologically even more difficult.
    Firstly, soulmate – it’s not easy to encounter instant connection with someone, let alone to find a soulmate who you might find some day in your best friend of 10 years, let’s say, but all this time you’ve been busy searching your soulmate. Secondly, finding = therefore you’re searching, therefore you’re lacking of something, someone. And the second point is just the opposite of the whole concept of being whole and doing you.

  78. Hannah Meyers

    I think I’m way too young to believe in soulmates.

  79. I’ve never had a problem making the first move. If he’s not responsive (which guys almost always are), I assume it’s because he’s with someone and faithful (which actually makes me want him more, ironically – guess I like a challenge). But you don’t have to go out alone for that. I go with my girlfriends and we just break off from the pack if we see a guy who’s hot.

  80. Looking back now I realize that when my husband and I first started to drift toward each-other, it was no coincidence. I had just came into another white stripe of life and felt generally more happy about myself than ever.
    To go out alone, to approach him first — these things show your social confidence, which indeed does make a woman more attractive. But not just that — showing everyone you value yourself will make them value you too. That’s apparently what you need to attract your ‘second half’ — to be whole already.

  81. Finding a soul-mate doesn’t happen over night…it’s alot of work and commitment but when you find someone and it feels right just go for it! For me personally, I took a break from dating a few years ago and just focused on my family, friends and personal growth. One day,I had a great conversation with a guy at my friend’s hangout. A few weeks later I asked him out. He actually felt the same way and we’ve been dating since 🙂

    • Courtney Watson

      I agree! Finding your soulmate takes a lot of hard work. It’s not an overnight thing. You need to have personal growth to be successful in finding one 🙂

  82. I believe that no advice is really apt for all situations. I know a lot of friends that found their soulmates when they weren’t looking. And what they did was focus on themselves and pursuing their career goals and just having fun with their lives. I guess its true that when you stop looking you find it 😀

  83. This is such a great article. I’m not sure I have a single friend who follows this advice, but maybe they’re not aware of how important it is. I’ll forward this around.

    BTW – Thanks for being the most empowering magazine out there!!!

  84. Gosh, sometimes I just want to give up on the whole soul-mate thing. I’ve been called a hopeless romantic before, and feeling more and more hopeless as time goes by. Maybe it’s just tougher in a big city, or maybe I’m just too picky. I’ve seen a few of my friends get really lucky, and have found their soul-mate, so I continue to hold out for hope. This article certainly helps keep my spirits hight, thanks Urbanette once again! 🙂

  85. Francis Woods

    What GREAT advice! We really do, as women, need to start thinking of ourselves as the prize — more so than whatever man we have our sights set on. It’s so important to remember that you’re worth it, so that you don’t put up with crap, and so you can find someone who’s looking for a confident woman, not just some insecure girl he can manipulate and treat poorly.

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