11 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Getting Married - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog

Relationships

11 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Getting Married

Here are some great nuggets of advice I wish I’d known years ago…

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Ok, I admit it. I’m divorced. As I looked back at what went wrong in my marriage, I realized several things that I should’ve thought about before getting married. As they say, hindsight is 20/20. Lucky for you, I’ll share what I learned so you can profit from my mistakes…

11 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Getting Married

Marriage is considered a major life event (for most, but not all, apparently), primarily because deciding to get hitched is meant to be for a lifetime, and because it’s associated with intense planning. Since a wedding requires so much forethought, it’s easy to assume that brides and grooms have given as much thought (if not much more!) to preparing themselves for their lifetime commitment. Amazingly, this is not always true.

Unfortunately, the current divorce rate is holding steady at fifty percent, thanks to this lack of personal preparation.

Then again, life is a glorious series of events, some larger and more important than others, and it’s normal to look back on those events and wonder, “If I could do it all again, what would I do differently?” So if you’re already married, don’t worry — these tips can still be put into action. The most important thing is not to let any more days go by without doing what you can to ensure that your relationship will last.

Take time to consider the importance of the following — before it’s too late:

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Born and raised in Texas, Shelly is currently studying to receive her Master's Degree in Publishing at the University of Houston - Victoria.  Shelly is a writer for Urbanette Magazine, and loves "everything it is and all that it offers our readers, and to me personally". She is passionate about life, family, friends, her maltipoo, Truman. She is a lover of all things culinary and the arts (13 year veteran of ballet).

Reader Discussion: 115 Comments

  1. Rosemarie Gibbs

    Before I tied the knot, I definitely had misconceptions about marriage. Like most people I had vague notions about what it takes to make a marriage great. – communication, intimacy, lots of love. But I soon learned that my preconceived notions barely scratched the surface of what being married truly entails. Now that I’m several years into a great marriage, I realize how very little I knew going in.

  2. Cecilia Little

    Not all marriages work even if we knew these things before getting married there’s no guarantee that things will work out, it’s up to the couples if they want to keep the relationship or not.

    • Gloria Castillo

      You’re right. We can’t really tell what’s gonna happen next, so just enjoy every moment , if it works, it works. if not then at least yo both tried.

  3. Kathy Gregory

    It’s wonderful to plan and and dream, but never invest all of your joy into any one plan. Remember that life happens, and the neat thing about being married is now you have someone to have it happen with.

  4. Judy Robertson

    I’ve grown so much these three years. Above all I’ve learned that marriage and life is hard work, but with Jesus it is made light. I love my husband and I’m so thankful that God kept certain doors closed and let us grow and know each other first! Now we are ready for the next chapter. 🙂

  5. Linda Silva

    My husband and I have been separated three years ago, I wish I had known these things before.

    • Anna Gibson

      There are really things that we will only learn after something bad happens.

  6. Here’s a tip when you find yourself in an argument – one of you gets to say their piece for 10 minutes and the other person is not allowed to talk until the time is up. Then they get to speak for 10 minutes and the other partner has to listen. And the focus is on LISTEN: Usually we are too busy defending and rebutting and we don’t give the time or courtesy to actually listen to what our partner is saying.

  7. We had been together for almost 4 years before we finally got married. I just thought that marriage would be something new. It would close the old chapter, and we’d walk hand-in-hand under a rainbow into this new and glorious chapter filled will prosperity and travel and babies and a super clean house. But it just didn’t happen. Life kept going as it had been going. We both had our individual struggles and had to learn and grow together, and we have.😊

  8. Don’t go into marriage thinking, “we’ll each do our share”. If you start marriage measuring who does more work, you’ll always find that he doesn’t measure up. Because all of us have unrealistic expectations, and all of us expect our husbands to do things our way. At the same time, he expects us to do things his way. So since we’re expecting what is virtually impossible. we’ll find that he never does enough.

  9. Karen Smith

    This is going to be incredibly sappy but I wish I knew how blissful marriage would be once all the pressures of dating and engagement faded away.

    • I agree! Dating takes up so much time, energy and angst! Being married feels so safe and relaxing. It’s nice to have a real partner.

  10. Jewel Byars

    I think some men and women think when you get married you are going to change, but we are still independent and still do things together and go to bed each night saying, I love You. Marriage has only strengthened us.

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