Relationships

11 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Marrying

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Ok, I admit it. I’m divorced. As I looked back at what went wrong in my marriage, I realized several things that I should’ve thought about before getting married, which I’ll share with you now. If you’re already married, these tips can still be put into action. After all, they say hindsight is 20/20. The most important thing is not to let any more days go by without doing what you can to ensure that your relationship will last.

Life is a glorious series of events, some larger and more important than others, and it’s normal to look back on those events and wonder, “If I could do it all again, what would I do differently?”

Marriage is considered a major life event (for most, but not all, apparently), primarily because deciding to get hitched is meant to be for a lifetime, and because it’s associated with intense planning.  Since a wedding requires so much forethought, it’s easy to assume that brides and grooms have given as much thought (if not much more!) to preparing themselves for their lifetime commitment.  Amazingly, this is not always true.

11 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Marrying

Hindsight is 20/20

Unfortunately, the current divorce rate is holding steady at fifty percent, thanks to this lack of personal preparation.

Take time to consider the importance of the following — before it’s too late:

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Born and raised in Texas, Shelly is currently studying to receive her Master's Degree in Publishing at the University of Houston - Victoria.  Shelly is a writer for Urbanette Magazine, and loves "everything it is and all that it offers our readers, and to me personally". She is passionate about life, family, friends, her maltipoo, Truman. She is a lover of all things culinary and the arts (13 year veteran of ballet).

8 Comments

  1. Megan Phillips

    Definite food for thought. I think popular ideals about relationships are so flawed! A lot of these tips highlights some things that I am learning are important to keep a good relationship going, namely: maturity and self-sacrifice. Not just sacrificing big stuff either, sometimes its as simple as sacrificing the pleasure of being right. Your advice just highlights what I’m learning now, there is definitely a honeymoon phase and when that’s over, that’s when the real work begins!

  2. Sarah Evanston

    Great tips even for casual dating (minus the therapy one!) I wish I’d read this before my last relationship.. I might have been able to save it.

  3. Counselling helps! There are so many "unmet" expectations that cause a marriage to break. It is important to set "realistic" expectations before getting married which can be achieved through professional help. Couples getting married should understand that it's not just about "… living happily ever after…" They should keep in mind that it's about "… living in reality with you from today until forever…" 🙂

  4. Randie Cadiogan

    Nobody regrets in the beginning… LOL.. Creating a plan or checklist is one of the best ways to prevent regrets and have a truly successful marriage.

  5. Jen Spillane

    I agree with Auriane. I also really liked the general message that you have to be in tune with reality. It's not going to be perfect, and there will be ongoing challenges.

  6. Courtney Watson

    Regrets don’t come in the beginning. It always happen AFTER. I think that aside from getting everything (wedding venue, guest list, etc) ready for that “big day,” one of the most important thing to do is sit down and create your checklist. What do each other expect?

    I believe creating a plan of your life together (after marriage) before even getting engaged will cause your married life a successful one!

  7. Jen Garcia

    Very well enumerated and discussed checklist! Every “engaged” or “soon to be married couples” should read this.

    I personally believe that relationships, especially marriages are hard work. I mean, if you want a lasting marriage and not to end in divorce, you would do your research and will work hard for it. You can’t just ask a woman to marry you because you two are in love. Love kills and causes regrets!

    For me, marriage is something that needs to be taken seriously. You can’t just jump into it and then leave when you want to.

  8. I love the tip about apologizing. Taking responsibility for what you do wrong and trying to make amends is always really important in any relationship, not just romantic!

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