11 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Marrying - Relationship Quiz

Relationships

11 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Marrying

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Ok, I admit it. I’m divorced. As I looked back at what went wrong in my marriage, I realized several things that I should’ve thought about before getting married, which I’ll share with you now. If you’re already married, these tips can still be put into action. After all, they say hindsight is 20/20. The most important thing is not to let any more days go by without doing what you can to ensure that your relationship will last.

Life is a glorious series of events, some larger and more important than others, and it’s normal to look back on those events and wonder, “If I could do it all again, what would I do differently?”

Marriage is considered a major life event (for most, but not all, apparently), primarily because deciding to get hitched is meant to be for a lifetime, and because it’s associated with intense planning.  Since a wedding requires so much forethought, it’s easy to assume that brides and grooms have given as much thought (if not much more!) to preparing themselves for their lifetime commitment.  Amazingly, this is not always true.

11 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Marrying

Hindsight is 20/20

Unfortunately, the current divorce rate is holding steady at fifty percent, thanks to this lack of personal preparation.

Take time to consider the importance of the following — before it’s too late:

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Born and raised in Texas, Shelly is currently studying to receive her Master's Degree in Publishing at the University of Houston - Victoria.  Shelly is a writer for Urbanette Magazine, and loves "everything it is and all that it offers our readers, and to me personally". She is passionate about life, family, friends, her maltipoo, Truman. She is a lover of all things culinary and the arts (13 year veteran of ballet).

38 Comments

  1. Genie Mackenzie

    It’s also healthy to give a time off to each other. Spend a night of massage together or a dinner date night out. That way, it could refreshed and strengthen your relationship and have a better bonding.

  2. Hachi Komatsu

    Admitting of mistakes and having honesty is one of the key foundations in a married relationship. You’re not in a gf-bf relationship anymore. You have to widen your patience and understanding with each other.

  3. I don’t believe in living together before getting married to test if they can do it. That is so stupid. If it could create a better marriage everyone should’ve done it a long time ago. And marriage is not like a hot soup that you’ll spit once you’ve got burnt. It’s all about taking risks and working things out.

  4. Doreen Morales

    Having an open conversation with your other half really helps. It helps the both of you to be closer to each other and be open. All you both need is just a pair of ears, and open mind, and a good listening heart.

  5. Growing up from a broken marriage is so hard. That’s why I’m careful with my relationship and I won’t get married unless I’m really ready for it. I don’t want my kids to suffer the way that I did.

  6. Lili

    These are the reality of marriage! It’s not what you see in movies that are happy endings and lived happily ever after. If you both grow old together, that’s the time you’ll be able to call it a happy ending.

  7. Paul Daiz

    I shared this with my wife. We just got married last April 14th, 2017. And we had a deep talk and discussed everything. I hope this is our first and last marriage. I want to spend the rest of my life with her and grow old together and work everything out.

  8. Ofelia Ruley

    Couples who are planning to get married should read this and have time to think about their relationship whether they’re truly ready for marriage.

  9. Marriage is never easy. No one ever made an instruction of how it will be. It’s not always fun and laughter, it’s about building a family together and working things out because you vowed to be together for the rest of your lives.

  10. Maddi Lemmon

    Monster-in-law? HAHAHA! My husband’s mom is seriously always getting sullen easily! I don’t know how will I continue to get along with her. And take note: She’s jealous of me because of my husband. Ugh

  11. Lana Wiliam

    I love how my husband say sorry, whenever it’s my mistake or not. Saying sorry doesn’t mean you’re being defeated. It just means that you love that person too much, and you can’t afford to lose her. She’s more precious than your sorry.

  12. Honey Smith

    We are really going to see a counselor before getting married. I don’t want our relationship to end up with a divorce, I love him and I want us to grow old together. I’ll follow these tips. Thanks a lot! Love love.

  13. Jessi Agusta

    That is why married is not a joke. It has a long time preparation, not just for the ceremony, but yourself as well.

  14. Lusi Martin

    I worked so hard so that my in-laws will like me. My husband did the same thing too. In-laws are strict when it comes to marriage because they want what is the best for their child.

  15. Hena Taylor

    Money is the most common problem in being in a married life. In marriage, it is a requirement that you are understanding, this is for the both of you to make your relationship last longer.

  16. Juli Woods

    I have the same problem when we got married. I used to do a small laundry before I go to sleep. My husband doesn’t want me to do that because we’re about to sleep and still I’m washing my undies. I think it’s time to change my routine at night.

  17. Selli Coaze

    Even if you’re married, sprucing up your relationship is not old school. Go on a date, make time, and make us feel special. That’s what most of the women want.

  18. Angelo Henderso

    It’s true, we only want you guys to listen to us. It’s better to answer with honesty that to think of an alibi, we know if you’re listening to us or not.

  19. Jurik Smith

    The hardest part of being in a married life is to catch up with your in-laws. They are most of the time terror, especially if you’re not the type of girl for their son.

  20. Nataliya Smith

    That is why I always tell my boyfriend that we shouldn’t live together until get married. It’s not that you’re not seeing future with him, you’re just being practical.

  21. Alena Martin

    Married life is getting harder once you have kids. It’s fun to have kids at home, but there’s a lot of responsibilities.

  22. Bela Christo

    Sex is still important in a married couple. The sparks will slowly fade once you live together, and sex can bring the heat again in your relationship.

  23. Anila William

    These tips are really important! How I wish it has been published before I married a d*ckhead.

  24. Cristina Joseff

    I’m the one working because he got fired in his job. He doesn’t have any plan to apply for a new job because he thinks that I am making enough money for us to live.

  25. Nancy Smith

    My husband and I have our own bank account and we also have our joint account. We work not just for our family, but for ourselves as well.

  26. Maria Bruce

    Lol! Monsters In-Law hahaha! I’m scared of my in-laws at first too, but then, I did everything just to impress them. Luckily, my in-laws are not that too scary.

  27. Quin Meri

    I read something about forgiveness is the key to a long relationship. The old man said that the secret to their long-lasting relationship is not giving up, and forgiving each other.

  28. Ana Brose

    Thanks for your advice! I’m getting married this coming June, and I’m having late night thoughts these past few days about what if things didn’t fall into places.

  29. Jenifer Jeni

    Who will think that the life of married people is all about fun and romance? It is not!

  30. The life of being married is not easy. It looks fun because you’re with your love, but as time passes by, there’s a lot of change.

  31. Megan Phillips

    Definite food for thought. I think popular ideals about relationships are so flawed! A lot of these tips highlights some things that I am learning are important to keep a good relationship going, namely: maturity and self-sacrifice. Not just sacrificing big stuff either, sometimes its as simple as sacrificing the pleasure of being right. Your advice just highlights what I’m learning now, there is definitely a honeymoon phase and when that’s over, that’s when the real work begins!

  32. Sarah Evanston

    Great tips even for casual dating (minus the therapy one!) I wish I’d read this before my last relationship.. I might have been able to save it.

  33. Counselling helps! There are so many "unmet" expectations that cause a marriage to break. It is important to set "realistic" expectations before getting married which can be achieved through professional help. Couples getting married should understand that it's not just about "… living happily ever after…" They should keep in mind that it's about "… living in reality with you from today until forever…" 🙂

  34. Randie Cadiogan

    Nobody regrets in the beginning… LOL.. Creating a plan or checklist is one of the best ways to prevent regrets and have a truly successful marriage.

  35. Jen Spillane

    I agree with Auriane. I also really liked the general message that you have to be in tune with reality. It's not going to be perfect, and there will be ongoing challenges.

  36. Courtney Watson

    Regrets don’t come in the beginning. It always happen AFTER. I think that aside from getting everything (wedding venue, guest list, etc) ready for that “big day,” one of the most important thing to do is sit down and create your checklist. What do each other expect?

    I believe creating a plan of your life together (after marriage) before even getting engaged will cause your married life a successful one!

  37. Jen Garcia

    Very well enumerated and discussed checklist! Every “engaged” or “soon to be married couples” should read this.

    I personally believe that relationships, especially marriages are hard work. I mean, if you want a lasting marriage and not to end in divorce, you would do your research and will work hard for it. You can’t just ask a woman to marry you because you two are in love. Love kills and causes regrets!

    For me, marriage is something that needs to be taken seriously. You can’t just jump into it and then leave when you want to.

  38. I love the tip about apologizing. Taking responsibility for what you do wrong and trying to make amends is always really important in any relationship, not just romantic!

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