11 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Getting Married - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog

Relationships

11 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Getting Married

Here are some great nuggets of advice I wish I’d known years ago…

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1.  Eternal Bliss

Make room for reality, sister, because here it comes and it’s looking for a place to take up residence. Your relationship may seem like perfection right now, but eventually the rainbows and butterflies will diminish, and the euphoria of being-in-love will disappear! In fact, in the US the average honeymoon period lasts only 6.7 months. Yikes! Now, it’s only natural that the fuzzy feelings fade; but by knowing that this change is inevitable, you can better prepare for this transition and not question whether getting married was a mistake.

11 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Getting Married

Hindsight is 20/20

2.  “I’m sorry – so sorry!”

Forgiveness is a biggie. It’s never too late to apologize. This heartfelt act has is a sign of strength and maturity. You may have the memory of the hurt you inflicted, but keep reminding yourself that it has been reconciled; the pain of the memory will eventually dissipate. Don’t forget: forgiveness is also for yourself, not just for the other person. Some relationship experts say that you should apologize even if you don’t think it’s your fault, just to make your spouse feel better and to avoid a fight.

3.  Money, money, money…muh-nee. Money!

Did you sing it? I love Donald Trump and The Apprentice, because I know there is always more to be learned when it comes to finances. Find a great financial planner, because for married couples money is the number one source of contention and root cause of disagreements.  A healthy approach to get on the same page with one another, financially speaking is to:

a.  Decide how much, as a couple, you’ll give away

b.  Decide how much you’ll put in savings

c.  As accurately as possible, decide your total cost of living expenses

d.  Come clean about any debt either of you have

e.  Decide on separate or joint accounts, and who will be the keeper of the books

f.  Agree that you’ll consult each other before spending more than $__ (an amount you both decided on)

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Born and raised in Texas, Shelly is currently studying to receive her Master's Degree in Publishing at the University of Houston - Victoria.  Shelly is a writer for Urbanette Magazine, and loves "everything it is and all that it offers our readers, and to me personally". She is passionate about life, family, friends, her maltipoo, Truman. She is a lover of all things culinary and the arts (13 year veteran of ballet).

Reader Discussion: 115 Comments

  1. Rosemarie Gibbs

    Before I tied the knot, I definitely had misconceptions about marriage. Like most people I had vague notions about what it takes to make a marriage great. – communication, intimacy, lots of love. But I soon learned that my preconceived notions barely scratched the surface of what being married truly entails. Now that I’m several years into a great marriage, I realize how very little I knew going in.

  2. Cecilia Little

    Not all marriages work even if we knew these things before getting married there’s no guarantee that things will work out, it’s up to the couples if they want to keep the relationship or not.

    • Gloria Castillo

      You’re right. We can’t really tell what’s gonna happen next, so just enjoy every moment , if it works, it works. if not then at least yo both tried.

  3. Kathy Gregory

    It’s wonderful to plan and and dream, but never invest all of your joy into any one plan. Remember that life happens, and the neat thing about being married is now you have someone to have it happen with.

  4. Judy Robertson

    I’ve grown so much these three years. Above all I’ve learned that marriage and life is hard work, but with Jesus it is made light. I love my husband and I’m so thankful that God kept certain doors closed and let us grow and know each other first! Now we are ready for the next chapter. 🙂

  5. Linda Silva

    My husband and I have been separated three years ago, I wish I had known these things before.

    • Anna Gibson

      There are really things that we will only learn after something bad happens.

  6. Here’s a tip when you find yourself in an argument – one of you gets to say their piece for 10 minutes and the other person is not allowed to talk until the time is up. Then they get to speak for 10 minutes and the other partner has to listen. And the focus is on LISTEN: Usually we are too busy defending and rebutting and we don’t give the time or courtesy to actually listen to what our partner is saying.

  7. We had been together for almost 4 years before we finally got married. I just thought that marriage would be something new. It would close the old chapter, and we’d walk hand-in-hand under a rainbow into this new and glorious chapter filled will prosperity and travel and babies and a super clean house. But it just didn’t happen. Life kept going as it had been going. We both had our individual struggles and had to learn and grow together, and we have.😊

  8. Don’t go into marriage thinking, “we’ll each do our share”. If you start marriage measuring who does more work, you’ll always find that he doesn’t measure up. Because all of us have unrealistic expectations, and all of us expect our husbands to do things our way. At the same time, he expects us to do things his way. So since we’re expecting what is virtually impossible. we’ll find that he never does enough.

  9. Karen Smith

    This is going to be incredibly sappy but I wish I knew how blissful marriage would be once all the pressures of dating and engagement faded away.

    • I agree! Dating takes up so much time, energy and angst! Being married feels so safe and relaxing. It’s nice to have a real partner.

  10. Jewel Byars

    I think some men and women think when you get married you are going to change, but we are still independent and still do things together and go to bed each night saying, I love You. Marriage has only strengthened us.

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