11 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Getting Married - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog

Relationships

11 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Getting Married

Here are some great nuggets of advice I wish I’d known years ago…

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4. S-E-X

It takes work and effort to get to know your spouse on an intimate level, and to learn what each likes when it comes to sexual fulfillment. The greatest comfort of sex in marriage is that married men are more likely to say they are satisfied than their single friends — or than they were when they were single. Commit to continually learning how to please each other sexually, just like you would’ve in the first few months of your relationship. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean sex should take a back-seat to the rest of life.

5.  The Monster-In-Law

11 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Getting Married

Oops — I meant in-laws! My mistake. Take the time to get to your spouse’s family and how they function and relate to one another. Be understanding and make a genuine effort to befriend your spouse’s relatives. It’s guaranteed it will be different than what you’re accustomed to, so figure it out early and start adapting appropriately.   

6.  Wait to Live Together

At the risk of sounding like a prude, living together has a down-side, statistically speaking. Food for thought: Couples who live together before marriage are less likely to actually get married, and if they do get married, they have a higher divorce rate compared to those who do not live together before marriage. Check it out for yourself – to each his own!

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Born and raised in Texas, Shelly is currently studying to receive her Master's Degree in Publishing at the University of Houston - Victoria.  Shelly is a writer for Urbanette Magazine, and loves "everything it is and all that it offers our readers, and to me personally". She is passionate about life, family, friends, her maltipoo, Truman. She is a lover of all things culinary and the arts (13 year veteran of ballet).

Reader Discussion: 115 Comments

  1. Rosemarie Gibbs

    Before I tied the knot, I definitely had misconceptions about marriage. Like most people I had vague notions about what it takes to make a marriage great. – communication, intimacy, lots of love. But I soon learned that my preconceived notions barely scratched the surface of what being married truly entails. Now that I’m several years into a great marriage, I realize how very little I knew going in.

  2. Cecilia Little

    Not all marriages work even if we knew these things before getting married there’s no guarantee that things will work out, it’s up to the couples if they want to keep the relationship or not.

    • Gloria Castillo

      You’re right. We can’t really tell what’s gonna happen next, so just enjoy every moment , if it works, it works. if not then at least yo both tried.

  3. Kathy Gregory

    It’s wonderful to plan and and dream, but never invest all of your joy into any one plan. Remember that life happens, and the neat thing about being married is now you have someone to have it happen with.

  4. Judy Robertson

    I’ve grown so much these three years. Above all I’ve learned that marriage and life is hard work, but with Jesus it is made light. I love my husband and I’m so thankful that God kept certain doors closed and let us grow and know each other first! Now we are ready for the next chapter. 🙂

  5. Linda Silva

    My husband and I have been separated three years ago, I wish I had known these things before.

    • Anna Gibson

      There are really things that we will only learn after something bad happens.

  6. Here’s a tip when you find yourself in an argument – one of you gets to say their piece for 10 minutes and the other person is not allowed to talk until the time is up. Then they get to speak for 10 minutes and the other partner has to listen. And the focus is on LISTEN: Usually we are too busy defending and rebutting and we don’t give the time or courtesy to actually listen to what our partner is saying.

  7. We had been together for almost 4 years before we finally got married. I just thought that marriage would be something new. It would close the old chapter, and we’d walk hand-in-hand under a rainbow into this new and glorious chapter filled will prosperity and travel and babies and a super clean house. But it just didn’t happen. Life kept going as it had been going. We both had our individual struggles and had to learn and grow together, and we have.😊

  8. Don’t go into marriage thinking, “we’ll each do our share”. If you start marriage measuring who does more work, you’ll always find that he doesn’t measure up. Because all of us have unrealistic expectations, and all of us expect our husbands to do things our way. At the same time, he expects us to do things his way. So since we’re expecting what is virtually impossible. we’ll find that he never does enough.

  9. Karen Smith

    This is going to be incredibly sappy but I wish I knew how blissful marriage would be once all the pressures of dating and engagement faded away.

    • I agree! Dating takes up so much time, energy and angst! Being married feels so safe and relaxing. It’s nice to have a real partner.

  10. Jewel Byars

    I think some men and women think when you get married you are going to change, but we are still independent and still do things together and go to bed each night saying, I love You. Marriage has only strengthened us.

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