11 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Getting Married - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog

Relationships

11 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Getting Married

Here are some great nuggets of advice I wish I’d known years ago…

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10.  Out With the Old, In With the New!

11 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Getting Married

Avoid conflict by evaluating daily rituals and eliminating bad habits. Ensure there’s not something you’re doing that has become commonplace simply because your mom or dad before you did it. Just because dad came home after work and immediately poured himself a scotch and turned on the tube doesn’t mean you have to do it or should. If your mother was a nagger, it doesn’t mean you should be too! Talk to your spouse about things you both do that are annoying and make the adjustments.

11.  Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

Counseling has somehow gained a bad rap in only being helpful for the criminally insane or truly troubled; but there is wisdom in seeking counsel of an objective third party to help resolve differences and give insight to our misunderstandings. We all need someone who can empathize and give us timely and wise relationship advice..

I would like to encourage you to take the time to consider and implement the above suggestions. As a divorcee now in my second marriage, I can testify to the encouragement and positive outcome of practicing what is being preached here! The important thing is to do whatever you can to stop the crazy cycles before they start… BEFORE you get married; and these guidelines will help do just that. Your marriage and relationship with your spouse will be the envy of friends and family alike when they begin recognizing the wisdom of your unspoken actions!

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Born and raised in Texas, Shelly is currently studying to receive her Master's Degree in Publishing at the University of Houston - Victoria.  Shelly is a writer for Urbanette Magazine, and loves "everything it is and all that it offers our readers, and to me personally". She is passionate about life, family, friends, her maltipoo, Truman. She is a lover of all things culinary and the arts (13 year veteran of ballet).

Reader Discussion: 115 Comments

  1. Rosemarie Gibbs

    Before I tied the knot, I definitely had misconceptions about marriage. Like most people I had vague notions about what it takes to make a marriage great. – communication, intimacy, lots of love. But I soon learned that my preconceived notions barely scratched the surface of what being married truly entails. Now that I’m several years into a great marriage, I realize how very little I knew going in.

  2. Cecilia Little

    Not all marriages work even if we knew these things before getting married there’s no guarantee that things will work out, it’s up to the couples if they want to keep the relationship or not.

    • Gloria Castillo

      You’re right. We can’t really tell what’s gonna happen next, so just enjoy every moment , if it works, it works. if not then at least yo both tried.

  3. Kathy Gregory

    It’s wonderful to plan and and dream, but never invest all of your joy into any one plan. Remember that life happens, and the neat thing about being married is now you have someone to have it happen with.

  4. Judy Robertson

    I’ve grown so much these three years. Above all I’ve learned that marriage and life is hard work, but with Jesus it is made light. I love my husband and I’m so thankful that God kept certain doors closed and let us grow and know each other first! Now we are ready for the next chapter. 🙂

  5. Linda Silva

    My husband and I have been separated three years ago, I wish I had known these things before.

    • Anna Gibson

      There are really things that we will only learn after something bad happens.

  6. Here’s a tip when you find yourself in an argument – one of you gets to say their piece for 10 minutes and the other person is not allowed to talk until the time is up. Then they get to speak for 10 minutes and the other partner has to listen. And the focus is on LISTEN: Usually we are too busy defending and rebutting and we don’t give the time or courtesy to actually listen to what our partner is saying.

  7. We had been together for almost 4 years before we finally got married. I just thought that marriage would be something new. It would close the old chapter, and we’d walk hand-in-hand under a rainbow into this new and glorious chapter filled will prosperity and travel and babies and a super clean house. But it just didn’t happen. Life kept going as it had been going. We both had our individual struggles and had to learn and grow together, and we have.😊

  8. Don’t go into marriage thinking, “we’ll each do our share”. If you start marriage measuring who does more work, you’ll always find that he doesn’t measure up. Because all of us have unrealistic expectations, and all of us expect our husbands to do things our way. At the same time, he expects us to do things his way. So since we’re expecting what is virtually impossible. we’ll find that he never does enough.

  9. Karen Smith

    This is going to be incredibly sappy but I wish I knew how blissful marriage would be once all the pressures of dating and engagement faded away.

    • I agree! Dating takes up so much time, energy and angst! Being married feels so safe and relaxing. It’s nice to have a real partner.

  10. Jewel Byars

    I think some men and women think when you get married you are going to change, but we are still independent and still do things together and go to bed each night saying, I love You. Marriage has only strengthened us.

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