The Skinny on Body Shaming - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog

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The Skinny on Body Shaming

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We live in a world where a Kim Kardashian body is both glorified and mocked while super-thin supermodels are idolized and critiqued. It seems that at any size, women just can’t win. This calls to mind an issue that has affected me personally: skinny shaming. Believe it or not, body shaming comes in all shapes and sizes. Being someone who has a naturally fast metabolism and a below average weight from childhood throughout my teens, having people think that I’m anorexic, bulimic, or flat out unhealthy because of my somewhat lower weight is something that really gets to me.

The Skinny on Body Shaming

Body Shaming

During high school, a time when one comment can instantly provoke a meltdown of self-doubt and confusion, I visited my doctor for a regular check-up. After all the poking and prodding of shots and blood tests, I made my way over to the scale. The nurse furrowed her brow as she recorded and told me my weight. My doctor came back into the exam room with a look on her face like a concerned mother.

“Are you eating enough? Have you been especially active in sports or other forms of exercise lately?” she asked, peering over the rims of her glasses with wide, questioning eyes. The thought of being active in sports made me laugh (I’m seriously lacking in hand-eye coordination). I reassured her that I had been eating plenty and healthily.

I felt myself tune out the stream of medical jargon from my doctor that followed. I resented the assumption that I hadn’t been taking care of myself, an assumption that had been made by others before. Honestly, it pissed me off to be chastised and interrogated about the body I was born with.

Skinny shaming is happening to girls and boys of all ages and just as often as we shame women for being overweight. In the media, in everyday conversations, in our own heads, “skinny bitches” are judged just as harshly as “fat chicks.”

Aren’t we supposed to love the skin we’re in? Why is it that we feel the need to attack women–our sisters, our friends, and even ourselves? All for something as trivial as weight! The worst part is that we are our own harshest critics. According to a survey published in Glamour earlier this year, a whopping 97% of women have an average of 13 negative thoughts about their bodies every single day.

Let’s replace judgment with support — both for ourselves, and for each other. The next time you look in the mirror and think, “Ugh, my thighs are enormous!” or “I wish I could just gain a few pounds and fill out!” make the conscious decision to focus on something you love about yourself instead. You are in control of your own thoughts, so why not make them positive?

Aren’t we supposed to love the skin we’re in?

This should affect how we see each other, too. Ladies, we need to stop being so hard on one another! If we’re insecure with our own bodies, we find faults in others to make ourselves feel better. So, if you have a negative opinion of someone, here’s a brilliant idea: keep it to yourself. If you’re not sure if what you have to say is helping or hurting, it’s better to just say nothing at all. Think about it: in the long run how much does a change in dress size really matter, whether it’s yours or someone else’s? We’ve got bigger and better things to worry about.

Have you ever been shamed for your weight? How can we end body-shaming?

Emily is a NYC-based fashion copywriter who’s constantly expanding her portfolio—and her vintage clothing collection. When she’s not typing away, you’ll find her with her nose in a book or toes in the sand (and if it’s a good day, both).

48 Comments

  1. Jurik Smith

    People should stop being so immature about this body shaming issue and grow up!

  2. Jessi Agusta

    I’m anorexic and I feel offended whenever people says that I’m sexy! I’ve always wanted to gain fats in my body but I can’t no matter what I do.

  3. Honey Smith

    OMG. I had this friend in high school, she was fat and a lot of people tease her because of her appearance. Then after we’ve graduated and gone to different universities, she strives to become “better” because she’s sick of being called fat. She became slim. No one teases her about it anymore. I was happy for her but then she became this bitch. her appearance changed as well as her personality. We’re not friends anymore. I liked her being fat than being “sexy”

  4. Bela Christo

    Anorexia is a physical health issue and should not be looked up to as “sexy”

  5. Quin Meri

    Whatever you do, if your fat or skinny, rich or poor, good or bad, no matter what you do, people will always criticize in everything you do. Just be yourself and let them get eaten in their own judgments.

  6. Maddi Lemmon

    This should be read by everyone so that they know about their wrong doings and take time to change themselves, and stop judging people.

  7. I wonder since when getting fat became a sin? -_- Get yourselves some ice cream and grow up

  8. Ofelia Ruley

    No one should be judged based on their physical appearances. Everyone is not the same and unique by their own personality. if that one person is not the same as you, just simply accept them and move on

  9. Everyone judges whether they’re aware of it or not. It’s part of being human. What you do with your actions is what matters.

  10. Doreen Morales

    More posts like these! Gives good information that everyone needs.

  11. WELCOME TO THE JUDGEMENTAL WORLD OF SOCIETY

  12. Hachi Komatsu

    Body shaming should end! No one has to feel embarrassed about their size. It’s only about the size of the clothes, not the personality. Sometimes those what you call “beautiful” as to being skinny, they were the ones who have an ugly personality. And those you’ve called ugly fat, they were the ones with the purest of heart. No one should be ashamed, those who’ve teased people are the one who should be ashamed of themselves.

  13. Artur Piterson

    This is one inspiring posts! I am a man, yet still, I experience those things. But I stepped up for myself and didn’t let anyone embarrassed me. Idgaf to whether I’m too fat for them or not. I’m happy with who I am and that’s all that matters here.

  14. Being fat just simply means you have a big heart! Don’t let them affect you as long you are happy with yourself! If they don’t accept you, punch them and flip your hair! haha kidding.

  15. Linda Williams

    If we all just focus on other things and stop mocking a person because of her body size, right? What’s wrong if they have that type of body size? Does it bother you?

  16. Robert Patel

    I’m just curious why all women think that they are fat, but in reality, they aren’t? My girlfriend is not overweight, I know that because we are living together for years, but she always tells me that she is fat, and she has to lose weight.

  17. Kathryn Gibson

    I am ashamed of my weight. I did everything to lose weight, and look slimmer, but the case is my body is not the type of that body who will trim its fats after proper diet, and exercise. I guess I should accept the fact that this is the body for me, and I should never be ashamed of it because this is me.

  18. Monique Malick

    Let us be realistic in here. If you see a woman with oversized body walking on the street of NYC, you will just ignore it? Or will you give a damn comment about her? I can say that I will give a comment about her weight, but I will keep it by myself because giving comments to strangers is very unnatural.

  19. Paul Daiz

    To us, men, body figure is important, but that doesn’t mean that we never dated an overweight girl. I can date an overweight girl as long as she can promise me that she will love me with her whole heart. I will love the person by her personality, and not by their weight.

  20. Jodi Thil

    We can end body shaming if we just stop being judgemental. If we stop being hard on each other, we can live a happier life.

  21. Brett Lee

    Oh, you girls are known for being like this. Teasing, and giving an opinion even though without being asked. Try to be more sensitive when it comes to giving an opinion because you might hurt their feelings.

  22. Osana Smith

    Instead of giving a hurtful comment about their weight, why don’t we just accept them for who they are? We should stop mocking people because of their weight. We don’t know the reason behind their physical appearance, so it’s better if we shut our mouth, and stop giving AF about their life.

  23. Candis Melton

    Oh, that is true. I know someone who mocks other people to boost up her confidence. I always wanted to stop her, but she never listens to us. She doesn’t even care how many girls hate her, as long as she is happy with what she’s doing, and that is mocking.

  24. Blanche Martina

    Body shaming is really hurtful and shouldn’t be made by anyone! Even if some people said that they aren’t affected by it, a small part of them is still hurt

  25. Karen Abeyta

    People will always judge you by your physical appearance. What you do about it is all that matters. My advice? Show them that you’re better than what they’re thinking. And let them be surprised on what you can do.

  26. Martin Juyes

    I like how a lot of women nowadays are confident about their bodies. It makes them even more beautiful and attractive! Size is just letters and numbers.

  27. People should stop body shaming because even famous artists like Lady Gaga, Chloe Moretz, and Amy Schumer aren’t ashamed of their body types. Love your own and be confident.

  28. Connie Schmidt

    Skinny isn’t always beautiful. I’m anorexic and my body isn’t what you’re gonna call “sexy”. When you look at my body, you can almost see my ribs and other bones which aren’t really appealing.

  29. Maxine Ford

    I love this article! I’m a chubby girl a lot of people kept on saying that I should lose weight, or I’ll look prettier if I went to the gym. IDGAF about what they’re saying. I love my body and I’m proud to be chubby!

  30. Joan Morales

    Your article reminded me of an inspiring song released in 1999 entitled “Unpretty” Link to video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2gy1Evb1Kg

  31. Brittany West

    I no longer compare myself with other women. Finally, I’ve accepted the fact that I have a “unique” body type.

    • Esther Devine

      That’s the spirit!!!

  32. Lisa Bryson

    The thing is, no matter how one love herself, if an evil little voice inside her head fills her with superficial doubt, her confidence will lower by watering down her perception of herself.

    • It’s definitely frustrating to measure yourself against other.

  33. Deanna Woods

    We should love what type of body we have, but we should also consider taking care ourselves with proper diet, and exercise. Taking care is a sign of love.

  34. Cristina Joseff

    I am healthy, but some people think that I have this illness called anorexia. I am not anorexic, and I and my doctor could actually tell that to everyone. I don’t know why my body doesn’t tell that to everyone. I don’t know why I am so skinny, and I don’t know what to do now.

  35. Maria Bruce

    I was ashamed of my weight before. I was the super fat girl since I was in elementary until I was in high school. After the most embarrassing incident I encountered, I started working out and eating healthy food. I lost weight, and now, the boys who bullied me before started chasing me now.

  36. Steev Smith

    When I met my girlfriend, she was slim and very conscious of her diet, but after she got pregnant, she gains weight. I don’t care how much she weights, as long as she is the woman I love, and she is the mother of my son, I will love her despite her weight.

  37. Genie Mackenzie

    Sometimes, your body reflects your personality. Look at the picture of the two girls in the picture. The skinny girl’s personality looks like she doesn’t want to be bullied by other people while the fat girl is lazy and undisciplined. The way they live reflects on their physical appearance.

  38. Ana Brose

    High school sucks. That’s the time that a single comment will spread, and will ruin your whole life. I remember when I was in my sophomore year, and I was a fat girl, students used to bully me. I promised to myself that I’m going to be hot, and sexy. Lol

  39. April Henry

    I have a friend who always eats a lot, but she’s still skinny. I asked her if she takes vitamins, and she said yes. She doesn’t also know why she’s still skinny even though she eats a lot.

  40. Jeni Morgan

    Oh, what’s new in body shaming? People are judgemental, and even if you doesn’t do anything with them, they will still judge you. It’s like doing good things, but they will only notice the bad things you’ve done before.

  41. Be confident and contented and you won't be affected by "body shaming!"

  42. Hannah Mayers

    Well, I believe body shaming is like “indirectly” saying, “I have a better body than you.”

  43. Joanne Samonte

    Body shaming will make you feel torn between being thin and being healthy. People will always have something to say, no matter what!   (sigh)

  44. Courtney Watson

    Well, body shaming (for most person) is a way for others to feel better (or feel superior at worst).

    In the society where we live, too much of something can cause you to feel inferior. If you get too thin, people will mock you, if you get too fat / healthy, people will also laugh at you.

  45. The most important thing is to be healthy and happy. If you are both and that leaves you with a dress size that invites criticism from others, their priorities are all off. No one has to love, care for, and protect your body as much as you do, so, in the end, the only priority is to keep it healthy.

  46. Sandra Brown

    Often, women would greet each other with the commonly tactless phrase “you’ve gained weight!”  (complete with surprise and a fake smile) I guess shaming another person is the only way others feel superior about themselves. It’s a sad mental and social epidemic.

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