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Deliberate STD Spreading: It Happens!

Why people sometimes give diseases to their lover — on purpose.

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I was talking to my best friend the other day, and she admitted something to me. That about a year ago, a guy she dated for a about a month gave her herpes. The shocking part was that he had an outbreak the first time they got naked and, when she asked about it, he said that it’s not a disease — that his penis had simply always had those marks on it. She trusted him and, consequently, two weeks later, she had her first outbreak of this incurable disease. When she confronted him, he denied it, but she could see on his face that he was lying. Whether his hormones too over, was too embarrassed to talk about it, or he simply wanted to feel ‘normal’, she’ll never know. At any rate, it was unfortunately too little too late, for her.

Deliberate STD Spreading: It Happens!

It’s not easy to accept having a STD.  For those that suffer from them, it’s common to want to ignore the issue.  In attempts to feel normal, some simply don’t get tested (too scary!) or knowingly continue to spread the infection or STD through unprotected sex.

Deliberate STD Spreading: It Happens!Could it be, for that individual’s various personal reasons, the spread of STDs and STIs are not always accidental, but rather, deliberate?

This is not to say that those carrying infection or disease are deliberately trying to harm others.  Although there have been cases of very conscious and deliberate STD spreading (apparently some feel that they’ll be more normal if others have the disease as well), this is not the norm in general.

Usually, in an effort to deal with such a serious and anxiety-ridden personal issue, continued unprotected sex is a semi-unconscious reaction.  The infected person rationalizes the concern for the other person’s safety away, or simply forces one’s self not to think about it at all.  As a result, there are 19 million new cases of STDs each year.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, every year, 1 out of 4 teenagers contract a sexually transmitted disease.

Deliberate STD Spreading: It Happens!The difficulty in coming to terms with having HIV is indeed burdensome and can be life changing; denial of the condition easily accompanies this reality.  Dishonesty runs rampant for those infected for fear of rejection by family and friends.

They protect their secret because they don’t want to risk seeming unattractive, like they could be damaging to others, or because of the fact that it’s a deterrent to the potential of having a ‘normal’ relationship.  The stigma presented by the general public is enough to encourage a carrier to hide this unfortunate truth.

People with HIV are no different when it comes to wanting a normal life, sexual and otherwise.  Most often, they do not have ill-will or desire to deliberately spread the infection.  Again, continued sexual intercourse without disclosure is often an emotional and unconscious reaction to a deep desire to maintain a normal life.

Deliberate STD Spreading: It Happens!

 In attempts to feel normal, they continue to have unprotected sex and spread the infection or STD.

With so much attention given to this modern-day epidemic, many have spoken out about the idea that the act of spreading STDs and HIV, conscious or unconscious, should be a criminal offense because it’s preventable and often incurable. However, the amount of awareness and educational resources on this issue do not allow the victim to be entirely blameless either. In this day and age, victims, as sad as their situation may be, can’t claim that they were entirely ignorant of the risk for lack of accurate information.

Deliberate STD Spreading: It Happens!

We must be diligent and deliberate in our private and social lives to educate ourselves and others on sexual health. Always use a condom, and look for signs of other diseases that a condom can’t protect against, like herpes. Oh yeah; and do your next partner a favor — get tested!

Originally from Denver and now living in NYC, Angie has been writing since she was small. She lives in the Flatiron district with her partner Tanya and their mutt Sparky (always adopt!) In her spare time she loves to paint (mostly abstract) and talk to random people on the street to find out what’s interesting to them.

Reader Discussion: 23 Comments

  1. Luke

    Ok hold on, you don’t just say “oh they’re suffering from STD/STI” THERE are DOZENS of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) like herpes, HIV, sciophilous, clamydia, HPV, hepatitis, etc. Saying “STD” just poses more questions and generalized those who have them.

  2. George Sumanta

    I don’t understand why they need to keep it secret. It’s our right to know the truth. That’s a killer disease! Please spread awareness about HIV and STD.

  3. Britni Baynes

    Having STD or HIV is a tough situation. That infection is killing you slowly, not just physically, but mentally as well. People who suffer from this disease are losing their hopes. That is why they intend to keep it as a secret so they can avoid discrimination.

    • I know of a Man and a Woman who have been intentionally exposing people to HIV since 1997. I was one of them – however, my DNA protected me from acquiring it from what my Doctors have told me. These people have exposed more than a handful of people and there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop it. I filed a criminal complaint but they would not even look into it due to the statute of limitations having ran out. I’ve gone as public as i possibly can with my story.

  4. Jeweli Prater

    Is that 1 out of 5? Holy! Teenagers are more exposed to sex than adults. This is alarming.The next generation is people with STD.

  5. Lancy Stanford

    It’s somehow your friend’s fault too. If she’s careful enough, she won’t get infected.

  6. Zerin Martin

    Don’t get fucked if you barely knew the person. If you’re going to have sex on your first date, use protection.

  7. Robert Patel

    As a man, it’s just right to us protection when having sexual intercourse. We all know that it’s different compared to unprotected sex. I think it’s better to be safe than to say sorry in the end.

  8. Marina Josef

    Let’s just be considerate. Having this type of illness is life-changing. They want to live a normal life, which is impossible.

  9. Luthi Sanders

    Why on earth do they need to deny their situation? I mean, it’s our right to know the truth! They are spreading an infection that is incurable.

  10. Marina Bozek

    Oh, cmon. You guys should be responsible for this. If you use protection, then everybody is safe! How much is the condom compared to the incurable illness?

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