Six Sexy Tips to Help You Climax WAY More Easily - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog


Six Sexy Tips to Help You Climax WAY More Easily

So you’re not having movie-star sex? Here’s what to do…


The female orgasm– we hear so much about them, yet know so little.  For men, an orgasm is something they almost always experience. For women, it’s a different story altogether. Despite what our male counterparts may think, for many women, it’s rare to reach orgasm. There’s even a select few who never have. And while we’ve mastered the art of faking it, there’s no reason why we shouldn’t be taking charge of the big “O”.

Here are 6 unusual tips that should help you reach climax much, much more easily:

Six Sexy Tips to Help You Climax WAY More Easily

Don’t base your sex life off what you see on TV

So you don’t have loud, earth-shaking climaxes, the way the stars in the latest blockbuster did. Maybe your lovemaking was nothing like it was described in the novel you read yesterday…

In films, literature, and other media, women are usually shown achieving orgasm with minimal effort. In fact, look at a sexual scene from any Hollywood film or a description of sex in any romance novel and you’ll find that women are portrayed as being in a state of constant frenzy, able to climax at the drop of a hat. While these scenes make for raunchy entertainment, they may leave some women feeling like they’re doing something wrong or missing out somehow. But like so many other areas of life, sex is nothing like what you see on the silver screen, and you are most certainly not alone in your struggle to reach your peak.

You know what? It’s okay! All that stuff is meant to be exaggerated fantasy. After all, who wants to watch the kind of imperfect, real-life sex your neighbors have? Exactly. So don’t worry if your experiences in bed are a little different. This ain’t the movies!

Sex isn’t just about orgasming. It’s about connecting to your partner both emotionally and physically.

Six Sexy Tips to Help You Climax WAY More Easily

Make your own pleasure-enhancing lube

We all feel more comfortable when we don’t have to worry about how we smell, or if we’re staying wet enough. So why not give yourself one less thing to worry about? Store-bought lubes are filled with nasty toxins and carcinogens, so make your own healthy version by mixing a couple ounces of coconut oil (a gentle antibacterial base which will ward off UTI’s) with a few drops of peppermint essential oil (for a sexy tingle), lavender (relaxing), ylang-ylang (a proven aphrodisiac and antibacterial), citrus (boosts circulation), and/or neroli (which has a long history of being used as an aphrodisiac and also boosts circulation, but a bit pricey) in a dark glass jar. Keep in mind that it’s super important to get your essential oils from a quality company with USDA organic certification. Here’s a great book about all the other essential oils you could experiment with.


One of the reasons why our partners may be unaware of the frustration we face is because we aren’t quick to tell them. We all know how fragile a man’s ego can be, and the easiest way to puncture it is by telling him he’s unable to satisfy you. When that’s the truth of the matter, however, keeping quiet can prove to be counterproductive.

The clitoris is the most sensitive part of the female body, so most women need direct clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm. Some guys have a bit more trouble finding it than others, so don’t feel bad lending them a helping hand. There are also other areas which can be very sensitive, and every person has their own preference. Tell him which spots drive you crazy. Make sure to throw out words of encouragement if he’s getting it right, and direct him a bit when he’s not. The better your partner gets to know what you like, the more likely he (or she) is to take you through the finish line.

Six Sexy Tips to Help You Climax WAY More Easily

Men are easily aroused. They can be excited by something as little as a picture or a thought. For them, nearly every sexual encounter culminates in an orgasm, because that’s how they’re made. Therefore, they might not understand why you’re having so much trouble. So tell your man what arouses you. Teach him where and how to touch your body. Many women are ashamed of talking openly about what arouses them. But if you want to enjoy your sexual experience, being communicative is very important. If you’re comfortable enough to share your body with someone, you can feel safe in sharing your thoughts as well. Plus, sometimes the communication itself can help set the mood and bring you one step closer to where you want to be.


Do you have a private sexual fantasy that no one knows about? Go ahead and let it play out in your mind during sex. Sometimes letting your mind travel elsewhere can help you stop worrying about what’s happening in the here and now and allow you to relax a bit. Don’t be shy about sharing your fantasies with your partner either. He (or she) is sure to have a lot of secret scenarios he thinks about too, so get together and indulge in them a bit. A little creativity can go a long way.

Six Sexy Tips to Help You Climax WAY More Easily

Don’t forget about foreplay

Rushed foreplay is one reason why women are sometimes unable to climax. You wouldn’t jump into working out without warming up first, and sex is the same way. Foreplay is a way to stretch your sexual senses and get you ready for the main event. A climax is not a standalone occurrence; it’s the result of emotionally and physically connecting to your partner. So take the time to connect with him and enjoy working up to your orgasm.

Focus on your togetherness

Did you leave the downstairs window open? And oh yeah, tomorrow’s laundry day and it’s your turn to drive the kids to baseball practice. When you have a million things going on in your day, it may be hard to keep your mind on the moment you’re in. Be that as it may, it’s not a good idea to think about your daily chores, mortgage payment, and dentist appointments when you’re in bed with your partner. Such things can be distracting and kill the mood in an instant, so get these out of your head for the moment. You can plan them out afterwards. For now, just focus on each other.

Six Sexy Tips to Help You Climax WAY More Easily

In the end, there’s no foolproof way to achieve a mind-blowing orgasm. Like everything in life, you have to work at it. Even if you don’t regularly climax, remember that you’re a part of a large group of women who have similar issues. So enjoy the intimate moments with your partner without getting worked up about it. Remember: sex, especially for a woman, shouldn’t be solely about achieving orgasm. It’s more a way to connect with that special someone. Even if you didn’t climax, you enjoyed the foreplay, the touching, and the intimacy, and that’s gotta count for something. And the more time you spend thinking about what you aren’t doing or experiencing, the less time you’ll be enjoying what you actually are. Chances are if you relax and take it easy, and stop having expectations of perfection, you’ll actually find yourself having a big “O.”

What do you like to do to achieve orgasm? Don’t be afraid to share in the discussion below!

Sarah enlightens us on a daily basis with the newest trends as (and often before) they transpire. She is the consummate globe trotter. Having traveled to over 70 countries, she earns her living writing, blogging and modeling while on the road. In her spare time she gets manicures, suntans on yachts in Greece, shops for even more shoes, and lives in the limelight. She loves photography, elephants, sailboats, bangles and ballet flats.

Reader Discussion: 104 Comments

  1. Grażyna Sawicka

    I know sex and orgasms aren’t the most important things in a relationship, but I’d rather not have sex at all than to have sex without orgasm. What’s the point?

  2. Magdolna Beiler

    Sex can be such a complicated thing. It’s easier to have an orgasm on your own, but more difficult when you’re with a partner. Should be easier when you’re with a partner, but oh well.

  3. Geraldine Chambers

    Fantasizing is a great way to get there. Even better when you share your fantasies with your partner. Works for me each time.

  4. Anouska Leigh

    I’m newly wedded, but I appreciate these tips. I have no complaints but it can always get better, right? 😉

  5. Helena Stevens

    The times I had to fake it is uncountable. 😑😐😶

    • Stop faking it and try these tips… if your guy thinks he’s doing the right stuff, he won’t change and you’ll never be satisfied…

  6. Michael T.

    And now, this creeps me out. I am nervous about what my partner will tell me about my performance.

  7. Candis Melton

    Women are always faking it, so if you think you are good, well, don’t be flattered.

  8. Patricia Montague

    What if I told my partner that my fantasy is having sex with older men? HHAHHAHA

    • Hmmmm… I’d keep it to fantasies that include him — like HIM as an older man, or HIM as a pilot, etc.

  9. Spencer

    We, men, should not be afraid to ask the woman if they are satisfied because that is the way for us to know how to make them. If you are afraid, then you will never make them satisfied.

  10. Olive Williams

    Thanks for this, Sarah! I always wanted to tell my boyfriend that I am faking it, but I don’t want him to get frustrated. Maybe this is a sign for me to tell him what I feel whenever we are in bed.

    • You should! It’s worth the frustration if it leads to better sex in the end.

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