Cutting the Fat: How the Deal With Toxic People - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog


Cutting the Fat: How the Deal With Toxic People

How to tell if a friend really has your best interest at heart, or is just using you.


We’ve all been there: it’s 7pm on a Tuesday, you’re just about to order Chinese food and watch Netflix before getting a jump on sleep. And then your phone rings. Your friend is on the other side, absolutely begging you to come out with her tonight, promising to be home before the sun comes up. Yes, she knows it’s a Tuesday. Yes, she’s aware you have work in the morning and need to look like something other than a glorified zombie in a blazer. But she pushes on, finally dropping the bomb, “Wow, you’re no fun anymore.” Now you’re enraged; I’ll show you fun, you think.

Cutting the Fat: How the Deal With Toxic People

Flash to a few hours later, you’ve been dragged out to a shady bar and instantly abandoned for the dude in the corner with the man-bun who kinda smells like stale cigarettes and craft beer. Three Cosmopolitans and a plate of mozzarella sticks later, she gives you a kiss on the cheek and heads off into the world with Man Bun. You get home at 3am and set as many alarms as possible to make sure you get up for work in four hours. Sigh.

We all have the friends that we love dearly, but always seem to drag us down. Whether it’s pushing going out when we’ve already got sweatpants and ice cream on our minds, or letting us go home with the weird guy that works in the 7/11, it’s a tough situation to be in. But is your friend a culprit of minor follies like forgetting to return a borrowed scarf, or major issues like borrowing over $100 and then not speaking to you for roughly three weeks. It can be difficult to distinguish a poison human from a flighty friend, and ultimately, deciding where to cut the fat. Here are five ways to figure it out:

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Reader Discussion: 52 Comments

  1. Toxic people will always try to control you. If somehow you got released from their control, they will now control the environment against you. That’s why toxic people should be given a high five. In the face. With a chair. Repeatedly.

  2. Elijah Jones

    My toxic/plastic friends are my training dummies. If they are toxic to me I will be toxic to them, if they are plastic then i will be plastic also. Learning this skill familiarizes me with their behavior and will actively avoid others who have these traits. That’s why i keep them close for reference.

  3. Monique Malick

    Oh, cmon! Be sensitive, it’s very easy to know if a friend is just using you. I hate users!

  4. Jodi Thil

    Make boundaries. It’s the only way to avoid user friends. It’s not that you’re being mean to them, you’re just sick of them.

  5. Toxic friendship is just like a shitty relationship with a douchebag. Leave, if you think you’ve been taken for granted.

  6. Candis Melton

    If you think that one of your friends is acting like a sh*t. You can always cut them off. Don’t think about how long you have been with each other, think about the reasons why you should give up the friendship.

  7. Don’t compare what you gave and what she gave to you. Friendship is about helping each other to grow. It’s not math that has a computation.

  8. Carol Joyner

    There are instances that you’ll meet people like these. There’s nothing wrong to give too much for the sake of your friendship. But if your friend is bragging you down, along with her, stop it. Make an action.

  9. Olive Williams

    Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about with my friends. I always tell them that ***** is a freaking toxic in our circle. I’ll let them read this article. Lol.

  10. Carrie Bleau

    Insecurity kills! I have a friend like this. I don’t know if she’s just concern, or she is really insecure of me. I don’t get it, we’re friends, and a real friend should be happy for her friend, right?

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