Cutting the Fat: How the Deal With Toxic People - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog


Cutting the Fat: How the Deal With Toxic People

How to tell if a friend really has your best interest at heart, or is just using you.


Other things to consider:

Don’t let time validate a friendship. Maybe someone’s just been a shitty friend for over ten years and you’re afraid to let them go. Doesn’t make them any better of a companion. I had a friend I brought with me through middle school, high school, and college. She was an awful person and it was a parasitic relationship, but I felt I had already invested so much time into the friendship that I couldn’t possibly scrap it. Yeah, she told everyone at our high school that I didn’t deserve the scholarship that I received and that I cheated on the test, and she told all my friends that I was talking about them behind their backs when I wasn’t, but we’ve had some good times, right? No. She was the definition of a toxic human. Her butt got kicked to the curb.

Cutting the Fat: How the Deal With Toxic People

Self inflicting ignorance can be your biggest enemy. Pretending there isn’t a problem only makes the problem worse. It makes the person on the other end of the bad friendship think what they’re doing is okay and that they can keep doing it. And you’ll bottle your problems up until you can’t take it and have a nuclear melt down. Everyone comes out a loser in this equation.

Don’t fall into guilt/friend manipulation. If they really did care, they wouldn’t be trying to manipulate you. Once again, they’re attempting to take advantage of your for their own personal gain. Let actions speak louder.

Above all, know that you deserve more than ‘friends’ who don’t want the world for you. Someone can be toxic even if you love them. It’s not selfish to think about your own wellbeing; your health and happiness should be a priority. If there is a person in your life relentlessly bringing you down, it’s time to let go.

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Reader Discussion: 52 Comments

  1. Toxic people will always try to control you. If somehow you got released from their control, they will now control the environment against you. That’s why toxic people should be given a high five. In the face. With a chair. Repeatedly.

  2. Elijah Jones

    My toxic/plastic friends are my training dummies. If they are toxic to me I will be toxic to them, if they are plastic then i will be plastic also. Learning this skill familiarizes me with their behavior and will actively avoid others who have these traits. That’s why i keep them close for reference.

  3. Monique Malick

    Oh, cmon! Be sensitive, it’s very easy to know if a friend is just using you. I hate users!

  4. Jodi Thil

    Make boundaries. It’s the only way to avoid user friends. It’s not that you’re being mean to them, you’re just sick of them.

  5. Toxic friendship is just like a shitty relationship with a douchebag. Leave, if you think you’ve been taken for granted.

  6. Candis Melton

    If you think that one of your friends is acting like a sh*t. You can always cut them off. Don’t think about how long you have been with each other, think about the reasons why you should give up the friendship.

  7. Don’t compare what you gave and what she gave to you. Friendship is about helping each other to grow. It’s not math that has a computation.

  8. Carol Joyner

    There are instances that you’ll meet people like these. There’s nothing wrong to give too much for the sake of your friendship. But if your friend is bragging you down, along with her, stop it. Make an action.

  9. Olive Williams

    Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about with my friends. I always tell them that ***** is a freaking toxic in our circle. I’ll let them read this article. Lol.

  10. Carrie Bleau

    Insecurity kills! I have a friend like this. I don’t know if she’s just concern, or she is really insecure of me. I don’t get it, we’re friends, and a real friend should be happy for her friend, right?

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