The Complete Guide: Your Sexual Fantasies - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog


The Complete Guide: Your Sexual Fantasies

Everything you ever needed to know about your own fantasies, and how to convey them.


Open and honest communication is one of the keys to a satisfying sex life—but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to do. It can be embarrassing and nerve-racking to tell your partner what you really want, especially if the relationship is just a casual one. But the rewards are worth the temporary awkwardness, so I’ll help you get there.

The Complete Guide: Your Sexual Fantasies

Go ahead – tell him your sexual fantasies


Defining Needs, Desires, and Fantasies

The Complete Guide: Your Sexual Fantasies

Craving a threesome?

Before you can express what you want, it’s important to understand the difference between these three concepts. Here’s how I see it… A sexual need is a physical or psychological requirement for your well-being. This can include the needs for security and affection as well as sexual release on a physical level. A sexual desire is something you wish or hope for but are able to live without, such as an emotional connection with your partner or having sex more often. Finally, a sexual fantasy is a mental image or scenario that turns you on but isn’t necessarily something you’d want to go through with in real life.

HOT TIP: On a piece of paper, make three columns labeled “needs,” “desires,” and “fantasies,” and fill in each one. You’ll have a clearer idea of what you want and need, which will help when it comes time to open up to your partner.

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Sabrina is the author of 'A Fantastic Sex Life… And How to Get It!' Her work has been published in numerous print magazines and websites, including Women’s Fitness, Men’s Fitness, Men’s Health,, Good Health, Australian Women’s Weekly, body+soul, Runner’s World, Kidspot, ninemsn Health & Wellbeing, FHM (monthly “Ask Sabrina” column), MAXIM, Ralph, Eat Fit and ZOO Weekly.

Reader Discussion: 4 Comments

  1. Corinna Dobrik

    Again! communication is the key! talking about everything beforehand will make or break that fantasy being reality.

  2. The images are extremely amusing! Open communication is the best way to have a fun exploration of sexual fantasies 🙂

  3. Courtney Watson

    I also love the barbie pictures! Really creative, fantastic and simply amazing 😉

    Opening up is really hard. It takes a lot of courage and “chutzpah”

    To be honest, it took me a while before I finally opened up what I enjoy doing with my partner. Though I’m sure he knows which I enjoy and don’t, I think it’s still different and more satisfying after telling him… honestly telling him what I love 😉

  4. First off, these sexual barbie pictures are hilarious!!! It made me chuckle while reading. I agree, when expressing your sexual desires and wants don't sound too serious. Be a little silly have fun with it. Communicating to your lover about your fantasies is one way of getting closer and building a better bond. Opening up a side of each other that you haven't seen. Have fun!

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