10 Tips to Help You Find Your Soulmate - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog


10 Tips to Help You Find Your Soulmate

Actionable ways to help you meet your soulmate — much, much faster.


Be Honest.

The best qualifier if you want a great relationship is communicating your own needs and desires. If you are ready for marriage and children, you need to tell him on the second or third date. If he runs away or becomes evasive, you should move on ASAP .

10 Tips to Help You Find Your Soulmate

Observe Carefully.

Ask a lot of questions early on and wait to share your views until after he’s already told you his, to prevent him from mirroring you. Believe him when he answers you, but don’t ignore the red flags. Take note of these four things, specifically:

  1. How much he does or doesn’t do in terms of going out of their way for you (physically and emotionally).
  2. Observe the way he speaks to his mother (with reverence or disdain).
  3. See if when you leave his company if you feel more expanded than before meeting him.
  4. Step back and witness how he interacts with you. Ultimately, if he wants you, he’ll come after you. Yes, it’s a little old school, but it’s a classic technique. And trust me, you don’t want to be running after someone for the rest of your life.

10 Tips to Help You Find Your Soulmate

Does He Make You Better?

Do you feel called into a higher version of yourself in his presence? If so, that’s a great indicator that he could be The One. Ask a potential mate, “How do you see me? What is your vision of me in the future?” Generally how a man sees you, treats you, and envisions you in the future has a great influence on how you show up in your relationship and thus the world. You will blossom and grow around the right man.

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A writer, artist, and designer since she was young enough to put pencil to paper, Hilary taught herself code and created Urbanette when she was a teenager. Currently, she spends most of her time in France, NYC, London and Switzerland, and travels extensively around the world. Hilary spent the past decade living in NYC, still considers herself a New Yorker, and visits regularly. She's always looking for hot new topics, destinations, and brands to bring to Urbanette readers.

Reader Discussion: 123 Comments

  1. Marina

    Thank you for offering the advice to not sleep with someone for at least 10 dates. I used to be a “sexually liberated woman” and would sleep with a man when I felt like it. It got me in trouble because I would become emotionally attached to men that were wrong for me. I slept with my soon to be ex-husband almost right away because I felt such a powerful attraction. The sex was absolutely mindblowing and the best I had ever had. I was sucked in and fell in love immediately. He was selfish from the very beginning, but I kept overlooking his self-centeredness because I wanted it to work, and I wanted more sex. 5 years later, I am in the midst of an ugly divorce after complete betrayal and abandonment by the man that was my whole world, that I made countless sacrifices for and that I loved as deeply as a woman can love a man. I always knew that I loved him more than he loved, I knew he was selfish, and I allowed him to disrespect me from very early on in the relationship because I was hooked with the sex. He broke my heart into a million little pieces and I am struggling to put my life back together. I haven’t turned cynical and I still believe in love. I’ve now made a decision that any man I date, I will get to know for a few months before making love with him. Yes, I love sex, but I have had enough of it in my life that I am willing to sacrifice it for some time to find my soulmate and avoid more failed relationships with the wrong men. I don’t know how anyone could possibly survive heartbreak this bad more than once. I don’t know if I’ll adopt your 10 date rule, but I would need to feel confident that I know someone before having sex.

  2. George Sumanta

    You calmed my stormy heart. Thank you so much for this motivating article! I suddenly felt I owe myself a big HUG

  3. Jeweli Prater

    ? So now, how do we define soulmate?! Does it necessarily mean romantic partner?! ?

  4. Luthi Sanders

    May I suggest a follow-up article, “signs that I’ve found my soulmate…”?!

  5. Jessie Fernande

    I agree with making a list but I’d make a list of characteristics I love about myself, things that generate good feelings. I might sound narcissistic, but I just believe in self love…

  6. Reid Hooks

    Soulmate, I’ve seen her and she knows how I feel about her, just waiting for her to make up her mind, on what to do next.

  7. “If you truly are looking for love and want to find that person that you can spend the rest of your life with, remember that it is YOU who creates compatibility.”

  8. Honey Smith

    Oh well, I used to believe in soulmates and thought I had met mine. To me, he was perfect, I thought he was everything I ever wanted, and we were inseparable from the day we met. Unfortunately, he was a clinically-diagnosed psychopath…

  9. Juli Woods

    I think you should change the title. To me, the article suggests ways on finding a “romantic partner.” A soulmate doesn’t necessarily mean a romantic partner, right?! It may be a close friend…

  10. Anila William

    Relationship is a process, it is important to learn how to overcome obstacles for it to work.

    • Lusi Martin

      Yeah, both should communicate and understand!

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