How to Make Your Relationship Last

Relationships

5 Rules To Make Your Relationship Last

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I am not a certified “love guru.” I’m quite emotional and can be rash if I don’t check in with myself (meditation helps with that). While I’m sure there are plenty of women out there who have no problem keeping a cool head 99.8% of the time, I—unfortunately—am not one of them. Nevertheless, as someone who has only ever been in long-term relationships (casual hookups are really not my thing), I’d like to think I know a bit about what it takes to make a romance last much longer than a fling.

Read on for five (and a half! . . .ish) golden rules I feel you should follow, if you wish to make your (budding) affair endure past your stereotypical, ephemeral encounter.

5 Rules To Make Your Relationship Last

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Born and raised in the Big Apple, Kristin is a proud alumna of both New York City's Macaulay Honors College and Bronx High School of Science. Among her biggest pet peeves are run-on sentences, unwittingly published typos, and public transportation delays. A fervent shutterbug, arts-and-crafts enthusiast, and bona fide gourmand with an insatiable wanderlust, she's been fortunate enough to have already journeyed to over a dozen foreign countries (including Hungary, Spain, Bermuda, and most recently, Costa Rica!) in her short 24 years.

16 Comments

  1. Aimee Marks

    That was quite a read. I agree in all points. In any relationship, we have to realize that there are two people coming from different backgrounds, personalities, characteristics, minds, perspectives, opinions, culture, tradition, etc. When these two people come together, all these differences will cause growth as much as frictions, as a result of imposing our wants and needs.

    We have to realize that the other person has their own needs of self-actualization, as well. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that the “two has become one”. In a relationship, the two individuals has to retain their individuality. We can’t change a person to be what we want them to be just as that they can’t change us into something else they want. I don’t, for one second, believe that we complete the other person. They are already complete by themselves. What we need is to complement each other so that growth is ushered, which in effect would ensure a lasting relationship.

  2. Stay true to your spouse – no sleeping around and no telling lies about “working late” “have to see a patient” “have a business dinner” and I can give you a few more. This goes for the husband and the wife.

  3. Being in a serious relationship is as complicated as it is beautiful.
    Its sad to watch couples breaking up so frequently nowadays. You simply cannot continue a healthy relationship if both partners do not understand each other, or even if one does not understand the other.
    You cannot have everything your way. There has to be some level of adjustment and a wee bit of compromise as well. But it has to be done by both partners.
    Its not very easy to maintain a healthy relationship, but at the same time its a very beautiful journey as well.

  4. Randie Cadiogan

    I agree with these perspectives. People should learn to give and not just demand. A relationship needs to be invested with time and effort from both parties 🙂

  5. Respecting each one's individuality is the key to a lasting relationship! Not because you love doing it means your partner will also love it…

  6. Stephanie

    I still believe in the “give and take” concept in a relationship. Do not “demand” what you can’t personally give.

  7. Sandra Brown

    A couple is “two very different individuals!” Each one has own life so time and space are very important!

  8. I think that last tip is the most important! So many people I know lose a lot of their favorite hobbies and close friends when they switch from being an individual to being a couple. The other suggestions are crucial as well–I think they should apply to all relationships, not just romantic ones. Honesty and communication are the most important things when developing a close relationship or friendship with someone else.

  9. Courtney Watson

    In this day and age, it’s very, very, very, very hard to make a relationship last. There are so many obstacles hindering a couple from making a lasting relationship. Aside from other man (or woman), the latest technologies are also hindering us from having a successful relationship. How many times did I notice a couple dating, each focused on their smartphones instead of talking to each other?! Even I is guilty of doing this (too bad).

    I truly believe that they key to a lasting relationship is open and honest communication!

  10. Jen Spillane

    Eek..I didn't realize I had already read this article until I saw my former comment. Even on the second read, the advice is fresh and very helpful. Thank you!

  11. Arabella Clarington

    “He has a life, I have a life.” You do not need to be always together to say that you have a happy and lasting relationship.

    I always believe in giving one another a breathing space. I allow my partner to go out with friends and I expect him to allow me to go out with mine as well (which he actually does). This, I think makes our relationship stronger. 

    Allowing him to go out with me (and the other way around) shows our trust for one another which I think makes our relationship lasting 🙂

  12. Jen Spillane

    Such thoughtful and mature advice all around. I especially love 3.5 about independence. It's healthy, plus it keeps an air of mystery to everything!

  13. Brittany Nutt

    Everything mentioned in this article are completely true. Do not be be someone else, your partner wants you to be yourself. You should want to be yourself around them. Nobody should have to lie to there "other", if you feel like you have to then maybe that relationship is not meant to be. You also do not want to lose yourself throughout your relationship. You need to be able to spend time with girlfriends and have time for yourself.

  14. Sara E Liz

    I think some of the best relationship advice out there is the importance of communication. Also, I totally agree about being conscious of his feelings too- otherwise known as putting yourself in his shoes. Empathy can really help you check yourself before you do something selfish.

  15. It is true! My favorite tip is #3 "Be yourself, and no one else". I have agreed to liking things in the beginning stages of dating before, although it was exaggerated. But never a flat out lie! If you have to lie in order to get someone interested in you, then it was never meant to be. Be with someone who loves you-for you.

  16. All of these tips are so true! (and so helpful!) I especially love tip #3.5 about independence – it's important not to lose yourself and your values in the midst of your love for others.

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