Sexy isn't a Halloween Costume

Fashion

Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??

Before you put on your sexy bunny costume, here’s why you might be completely missing the mark…

By 

Every post-pubescent girl has dressed as a “sexy” something at least once on Halloween. Maybe you were a “sexy” elf, “sexy” pirate or a “sexy” accountant—yes, the costume industry has been getting really -ahem- creative. While it may be tempting to try to out-sexy other women on Halloween, I urge you to resist.

Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??

Before you put on your sexy bunny costume, check out these five semi-serious reasons why your sexy outfit might be completely missing the mark:

  1. You don’t have to enter the ‘who is sexier’ contest. No, not literally… but it seems that every Halloween has turned into a forced opportunity to show off and self-objectify. Unless you enjoy having men view you as nothing but a potential lay, check out of that competition. If women stopped buying sexy pirate costumes, then Chinese factories would stop making them. Get the scientist costume this time — the mad scientist, not the sexy scientist!
  2. Freezing isn’t sexy. It’s almost November and last time I checked, shivering was not sexy. Those freakishly intense goosebumps you have all over your thighs feel majorly distracting. People would be complimenting your creative, “sexy” Pope costume if they weren’t suggesting that you WebMD your wild goose bumps. Let’s say you did bring your giant coat just in case. You thought you were being super smart, didn’t you? Well, you didn’t even end up wearing it! You were too desperate to show off your super sexy costume, so you ended up holding your giant coat all night, which turned out to be a huge burden.
  3. Complaining isn’t sexy. Obviously, you were complaining about how cold you were or how annoying it was to hold your jacket you should’ve been wearing. You were mad that your opaque tights weren’t keeping you warm. Yea, those stupid tights—it’s  definitely not your fault that you wore assless chaps and a leather bikini top in 40-degree weather to be a sexy apocalyptic hooker.Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??
  4. Sleaze-balls aren’t sexy. The kind of guys you’re attracting with your “sexy” whatever-the-hell costume are creeps –not the cute guy you had your eye on. Do you really want some horny jerk gawking at your chest and hanging off you all night? Think that cute, non-creepy guy from before might have wanted to approach you? Well, too bad because there is a sleazy guy blocking you while the guy you really wanted is wandering off.
  5. Discomfort isn’t sexy. That tight corset that your friends thought looked super hot is slowly becoming one with your skin. You can’t wait to get home so you can rip it off and jump into sweatpants. Thing is, if you’re uncomfortable, people can tell. It completely affects your confidence and there is no point in wearing that “sexy” vampire costume if you can’t exert the confidence to wear it. You’ll just look grumpy. Being comfortable in your skin is what’s attractive—not the lack of clothing on it.Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??
  6. Being “sexy” for Halloween implies you’re not really sexy the other 364 days of the year. Sexy isn’t a costume! Halloween is about dressing up as something that you’re not. Sexy is being smart, intellectual, funny, confident, and interesting. Anyone can throw on the same amount of clothing that a 1yr old wears. What you see lined up in the women’s section of a costume store isn’t sexy, it’s desperate.

Whatever you do this Halloween, dress for yourself. Don’t be some ordinary stereotypical costume because you’re seeking attention or because your friends pushed you into it.

I know the truth—I know you’re freezing in that costume and you’d really rather be admired for more than your hot bod. And to prove it, here’s a collection of my most ridiculous Halloween costumes (I WISH I READ THIS ARTICLE 10 YEARS AGO!):

Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??

Resist the urge to enter the ‘who can show the most skin’ contest, return that $50 costume that is too small to deserve a hanger, and put on something you really want to wear. Your sexiness will still be intact, I swear.

A writer, artist, and designer since she was young enough to put pencil to paper, Hilary taught herself code and created Urbanette when she was a teenager. Currently, she spends most of her time traveling around Europe, with pied-a-terre's in Zurich, London, Milan and Lyon, France. Hilary spent the past decade living in NYC, still considers herself a New Yorker, and visits regularly. She's always looking for hot new topics, destinations, and life hacks to bring to Urbanette readers.

Reader Discussion: 257 Comments

  1. Kelyne Dove

    Dress as you feel. If people judge, be happy that you’re not their friend. And if you are friends, tell them to fuck off and grow up. Halloween is one of the best days we have, and then slutty costume thing will get old someday.

  2. Katherin Cuyler

    After all its Halloween, the object is to dress scary not look like a stripper.

  3. Bryan Kyle

    I don’t want to sound anti-women but I think this is way too overhyped. I think a lot of women who complain about this are just attention whores. Please, no one cares about how you dress and if someone does its a female

  4. Natalie Hyder

    We are adults who are free to wear whatever we want on Halloween. If you feel pressure to dress sexy it’s because you’re a follower who thinks they need to do what everybody else is doing. Wear what you feel comfortable with and stop complaining!!

  5. Lucy Spigner

    I don’t have a problem with whores wanting to be sexy but Halloween should be at least horror related. I just want to pull a PETA and go around dumping buckets of fake blood on all the lame ass cute costumes.

  6. Melinda Schaub

    Reminds me of the scene in “Mean Girls” where Lindsay Loran’s character says that Halloween is just an excuse for girls to dress up like a slut and no one can judge them for it. She dresses up as a zombie bride and feels totally outta place wearing mid-drifts and short skirts or leotards and tights.

  7. Rachael Fulgham

    Come on, guys. People want to enjoy the opportunity to get sexy and drunk and have fun.

  8. Kristine Richburg

    Perhaps some people encourage others to wear a sexy costume, but it isn’t fair to say you are forced to do so. And Halloween is much better than genocide inspired festival called Thanksgiving. It’s about the harvest and respecting the dead.

  9. Cristie Hertzog

    I “blame” mean girls for pointing out and solidifying what was already happening in our culture and how I met your mother for making random things be sexy. I say “blame because I love them both and really don’t give a shit.

  10. Mona Soler

    Halloween Nowadays feels like its a whore day.

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