Sexy isn't a Halloween Costume

Fashion

Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??

Before you put on your sexy bunny costume, here’s why you might be completely missing the mark…

By 

Every post-pubescent girl has dressed as a “sexy” something at least once on Halloween. Maybe you were a “sexy” tampon, “sexy” highlighter or a stack of “sexy” pancakes—yes, the costume industry has been getting really -ahem- creative.

Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??

Before you put on your sexy bunny costume, check out these five semi-serious reasons why your sexy outfit might be completely missing the mark:

  1. Freezing isn’t sexy. It’s almost November and last time I checked, shivering was not sexy. Those freakishly intense goosebumps you have all over your thighs feel majorly distracting. People would be complimenting your creative, “sexy” Pope costume if they weren’t suggesting that you WebMD your wild goose bumps. Let’s say you did bring your giant coat just in case. You thought you were being super smart, didn’t you? Well, you didn’t even end up wearing it! You were too desperate to show off your super sexy costume, so you ended up holding your giant coat all night, which turned out to be a huge burden.
  2. Complaining isn’t sexy. Obviously, you were complaining about how cold you were or how annoying it was to hold your jacket you should’ve been wearing. You were mad that your opaque tights weren’t keeping you warm. Yea, those stupid tights—it’s  definitely not your fault that you wore assless chaps and a leather bikini top in 40-degree weather to be a sexy apocalyptic hooker.Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??
  3. Sleaze-balls aren’t sexy. The kind of guys you’re attracting with your “sexy” whatever-the-hell costume are creeps –not the cute guy you had your eye on. Do you want a creep staring and hanging around you all night? Think that cute, non-creepy guy from before might have wanted to approach you? Well, too bad because there is a sleazy guy blocking you while the guy you really wanted is wandering off.
  4. Discomfort isn’t sexy. That tight corset that your friends thought looked super hot is slowly becoming one with your skin. You can’t wait to get home so you can rip it off and jump into sweatpants. Thing is, if you’re uncomfortable, people can tell. It completely affects your confidence and there is no point in wearing that “sexy” homeless person costume if you can’t exert the confidence to wear it. You’ll just look grumpy. Being comfortable in your skin is what’s attractive—not the lack of clothing on it.Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??
  5. Being “sexy” for Halloween implies you’re not really sexy the other 364 days of the year. Sexy isn’t a costume! Halloween is about dressing up as something that you’re not. Sexy is being smart, intellectual, funny, confident, and interesting. Anyone can throw on the same amount of clothing that a 1yr old wears. What you see lined up in the women’s section of a costume store isn’t sexy, it’s desperate.

Whatever you do this Halloween, dress for yourself. Don’t be some ordinary stereotypical costume because you’re seeking attention or because your friends pushed you into it.

I know the truth—I know you’re freezing in that costume and it feels like razor blades are being jammed into your ribs. And to prove it, here’s a collection of my most ridiculous Halloween costumes (I WISH I READ THIS ARTICLE 10 YEARS AGO!):

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Return that $50 costume that is too small to deserve a hanger, and put on something you really want to wear. Your sexiness will still be intact, I swear.

A writer, artist, and designer since she was young enough to put pencil to paper, Hilary taught herself code and created Urbanette when she was a teenager. Currently, she spends most of her time in France, NYC, London and Switzerland, and travels extensively around the world. Hilary spent the past decade living in NYC, still considers herself a New Yorker, and visits regularly. She’s always looking for hot new topics, destinations, and brands to bring to Urbanette readers.

Reader Discussion: 129 Comments

  1. Laverne Pollard

    Be a kid. Explore, imagine, and create your favorite character this Halloween.

    • Johnnie Bradford

      Yeah! Bring back the old-fashioned Halloween costumes and stay away from the sexy versions.

  2. Deanna Hurt

    Being creative is one of the things people can showcase during Halloween. Save your money from buying sexy clothes and try to DIY and make your imagination works.

    • It could be a bonding experience with your family and you would be amazed at what you can all come up with. My mom used to sew us Halloween costumes, and my best Halloween memories were of her doing that. I felt loved wearing them.

  3. Maddi Lemmon

    Well, Halloween shouldn’t be sexy in the first place. Try to wear your favorite character or something creepy.

  4. Intelligence and wittiness are sexy! What you talk about with other people would be one of the factors to be sexy. Trash talking isn’t sexy, right?

    • Mary Fisher

      Yes, not all about legs, bum, and body. What you say can make you sexy too.

  5. Ofelia Ruley

    My bf told me before that he finds me the sexiest when I am showing my humorous side. It’s not about my hair or clothing — he likes a good sense of humor.

    • Sarah Chipps

      Wow! Actually my boyfriend told me this too when I showed him this article.

  6. Stanley Lavine

    The woman is sexy for me when she knows when to laugh at my jokes, even the corny ones. Hehe!

  7. Mandy Jordan

    Wearing sexy is nothing like creativity. It gets to show that they just cannot think creatively. They lack in imagination.

  8. Deidre Timm

    Girls who wear sexy costume are hungry for social acceptance.

    • Agree! and also self-acceptance. If you do not truly accept yourself for who you are and what you look like, then you will never be sexy because you aren’t confident about yourself.

  9. Doreen Morales

    Sexiness isn’t just about physical appearance. I know people with disability but still, they are sexy because they know how to interact with people without fear.

  10. Felicia Abbate

    I remember my friend last Haloween party. She was wearing this sexy angel costume and she was looking hot at first but as the night gets deeper she started having goosebumps and some of our friends offered her a coat and insisted for her to wear it. Bottomline is, you do not need to suffer just to look sexy.

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