Sexy isn't a Halloween Costume

Fashion

Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??

Before you put on your sexy bunny costume, here’s why you might be completely missing the mark…

By 

Every post-pubescent girl has dressed as a “sexy” something at least once on Halloween. Maybe you were a “sexy” tampon, “sexy” highlighter or a stack of “sexy” pancakes—yes, the costume industry has been getting really -ahem- creative.

Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??

Before you put on your sexy bunny costume, check out these five semi-serious reasons why your sexy outfit might be completely missing the mark:

  1. Freezing isn’t sexy. It’s almost November and last time I checked, shivering was not sexy. Those freakishly intense goosebumps you have all over your thighs feel majorly distracting. People would be complimenting your creative, “sexy” Pope costume if they weren’t suggesting that you WebMD your wild goose bumps. Let’s say you did bring your giant coat just in case. You thought you were being super smart, didn’t you? Well, you didn’t even end up wearing it! You were too desperate to show off your super sexy costume, so you ended up holding your giant coat all night, which turned out to be a huge burden.
  2. Complaining isn’t sexy. Obviously, you were complaining about how cold you were or how annoying it was to hold your jacket you should’ve been wearing. You were mad that your opaque tights weren’t keeping you warm. Yea, those stupid tights—it’s  definitely not your fault that you wore assless chaps and a leather bikini top in 40-degree weather to be a sexy apocalyptic hooker.Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??
  3. Sleaze-balls aren’t sexy. The kind of guys you’re attracting with your “sexy” whatever-the-hell costume are creeps –not the cute guy you had your eye on. Do you want a creep staring and hanging around you all night? Think that cute, non-creepy guy from before might have wanted to approach you? Well, too bad because there is a sleazy guy blocking you while the guy you really wanted is wandering off.
  4. Discomfort isn’t sexy. That tight corset that your friends thought looked super hot is slowly becoming one with your skin. You can’t wait to get home so you can rip it off and jump into sweatpants. Thing is, if you’re uncomfortable, people can tell. It completely affects your confidence and there is no point in wearing that “sexy” homeless person costume if you can’t exert the confidence to wear it. You’ll just look grumpy. Being comfortable in your skin is what’s attractive—not the lack of clothing on it.Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??
  5. Being “sexy” for Halloween implies you’re not really sexy the other 364 days of the year. Sexy isn’t a costume! Halloween is about dressing up as something that you’re not. Sexy is being smart, intellectual, funny, confident, and interesting. Anyone can throw on the same amount of clothing that a 1yr old wears. What you see lined up in the women’s section of a costume store isn’t sexy, it’s desperate.

Whatever you do this Halloween, dress for yourself. Don’t be some ordinary stereotypical costume because you’re seeking attention or because your friends pushed you into it.

I know the truth—I know you’re freezing in that costume and it feels like razor blades are being jammed into your ribs. And to prove it, here’s a collection of my most ridiculous Halloween costumes (I WISH I READ THIS ARTICLE 10 YEARS AGO!):

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Return that $50 costume that is too small to deserve a hanger, and put on something you really want to wear. Your sexiness will still be intact, I swear.

A writer, artist, and designer since she was young enough to put pencil to paper, Hilary taught herself code and created Urbanette when she was a teenager. Currently, she spends most of her time in France, NYC, London and Switzerland, and travels extensively around the world. Hilary spent the past decade living in NYC, still considers herself a New Yorker, and visits regularly. She's always looking for hot new topics, destinations, and brands to bring to Urbanette readers.

Reader Discussion: 139 Comments

  1. Mira Kent

    Most of the women already feel that they’re in a lifelong beauty pageant- so for the love of Mary, Halloween should be the one night a year when they should be encouraged to take a break from this nonsense. Thank you urbanette for bringing the attention to all those pretty ladies Haloween is not about wearing a sexy short dress.

  2. SUSMITA

    But for me, it isn’t Haloween if I’m not dressed in the sexiest costume. LOL

    • Jonathon Swift

      Yeah! Haloween is all about a sexy costume and drinks.

  3. Halloween has been sexualized over the last two decades. Even a witch is now a sexy witch, a cop a sexy cop, and a fireman a sexy fireman. Why aren’t men’s costumes all sexy too?? Such a double-standard!

  4. On every Halloween every girl I see is wearing some sexy costume, I don’t understand how do they show a slip of leg or a bare hint of their midriff in this freezing cold winds. I did grow up in a family in which one popular Halloween costume was a bag of jelly beans and another one was a piano so maybe it’s me whos been missing the point all these years, but I really do think not.

  5. But “Mean Girls” taught us that Halloween was the only time of the year when wearing underwear in public was acceptable.

    • And it also taught us that Halloween is the one night of the year when you can dress like a slut and no other girls can say anything about it.

  6. Linda Silva

    planning my look for the Halloween party is a real headache, especially when it is freezing cold outside, and I don’t want to freeze myself but I still want to appear sexy, sophisticated and stylish. most of the time I just give up and don’t go out!

  7. Dressing up for Haloween parties often give me more confidence because of the costume, whether I wear a beautiful, little black dress, or a fairy tale character. It’s an opportunity to act beyond my normal tendencies and put on an act. But I don’t understand why people sexualize every costume for Halloween, why can’t everyone can dress up normally.

  8. Helena Lowson

    Wow, Hilary, your Halloween costumes were fabulous, you look amazing in KillBill!! I love it, thanks for sharing ideas like this, it’s too bad Halloween is already far behind… I noticed that more and more people tend to wear non-scary costumes though. Weird ^^

  9. Laverne Pollard

    Be a kid. Explore, imagine, and create your favorite character this Halloween.

    • Johnnie Bradford

      Yeah! Bring back the old-fashioned Halloween costumes and stay away from the sexy versions.

  10. Deanna Hurt

    Being creative is one of the things people can showcase during Halloween. Save your money from buying sexy clothes and try to DIY and make your imagination works.

    • It could be a bonding experience with your family and you would be amazed at what you can all come up with. My mom used to sew us Halloween costumes, and my best Halloween memories were of her doing that. I felt loved wearing them.

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