The 4 Laws Of Communication
How to get through an argument without arguing.
We’ve all had arguments that got out of hand. We’ve all said things we’ve later regretted. The next time you’re in a heated discussion with your man, remember these tips to help get your point across with the least stress possible.
1. Tailor Your Content
Men and women seem to be interested in different things, and this can manifest itself in conflict over the way we talk to one another. One of the first things we can do to address this difference is to make sure that we’re tailoring our communication to fit our audience. You know exactly what I mean, because this is something we already do with our female friends.
Let me give you an example. I am perfectly capable of commenting on the cut of a new coat or the sophistication of a pattern on a silk scarf, but I don’t share these details with my friend Anne, because I know that she’s not at all interested in fashion. Many relationships between men and women might also benefit from a similar sensitivity. Why don’t we extend the same courtesy to our spouses as we do to our friends, by focusing our conversation on topics of interest to both of us?
2. Keep It Simple
Of course, there’s a material difference between the way we talk to our female friends and the way we talk to our spouses; there has to be. I don’t have to go shopping with Anne, but couples are mutually involved and invested in domestic matters, including parenting, providing shelter for themselves and their offspring, and deciding how to spend money. We are, after all, in partnership with one another, so sometimes we have to bridge the gap by mastering a common language.
In most cases, men and women do understand each other, but I have found that when I make an effort to speak in a language men can easily understand, my message gets across more successfully. Make simple, declarative points, in order, and if you want something done, outline it clearly and simply. Don’t overdo it with anecdotes, or even use unnecessary adjectives.
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