How to Beat the Media's Pressure to be Thin

Beauty

How to Beat the Media’s Pressure to be Thin

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To Look Good, Be Thin” is an expectation that affects us all. How we look is inextricably connected to how we feel about ourselves. Of course, we always want to look our best. But . . . how do you really feel about how you look?

How to Beat the Media’s Pressure to be ThinI feel fat, my stomach bulges, my butt’s too big.
My thighs and arms are flabby.
Nothing fits right.
My hair is just wrong.
I’m super sensitive to what your boyfriend says.
I think others are looking at me.
I endlessly compare myself to other women.

Go to a newsstand or drugstore and everywhere you look, there are countless “recipes” for success, to make you feel better, to look good, be thin. There are articles that say: “get slim” (by tonight) and tips from the top ten celebs on how to dress, to look “just right.” No wonder you’re obsessed about your appearance.

When she was just 16 years old, a tabloid magazine published a photo of Hayden Panettiere’s backside with the word “cellulite” plastered across the image. “I was mortified,” she said, “It gave me such body dysmorphia for so long. But I remember reminding myself that beauty is an opinion, not a fact. And it has always made me feel better.”

How to Beat the Media’s Pressure to be Thin

In a Doonesbury comic strip, a young woman staring at a bathing suit magazine says to her friend, “Look at these models. Wouldn’t it be cool to look that gorgeous?” To which her friend replies, “Well, yes, but you have to remember that their body type is not actually found in nature. Becoming the media’s feminine ideal requires the right genes, plus just the right amount of insecurity, bulimia, and surgery.” And then a not-so-healthy dose of Photoshopping (more on that here and here).

Weighing just the “right” amount, having a “fit” body, the right clothes, make-up, and hair style are all sold to us as the solution — but it isn’t.

How to Beat the Media’s Pressure to be Thin

This is a Victoria’s Secret model – before and after the third round of Photoshopping. After all the makeup, lighting, perfect angles and great photography, Victoria’s Secret sends each and every image to between three and five retouchers before each image is published, to make sure it’s perfectly, unrealistically flawless.

How could there be a solution to what the message “To Look Good, Be Thin” implies? Weighing just the “right” amount, having a “fit” body, the right clothes, make-up, and hair style are all sold to us as the solution — but it isn’t. Because, as you already know, things are rarely how they appear on the surface. The problem isn’t how you think you look, it’s the self-doubt. The first step is to conquer the self-doubt. Here are ten tips on how to do that:

1. How to Beat the Media’s Pressure to be ThinNotice that the expectation about how you are supposed to look gets you to constantly compare yourself to others.

2. Pay attention to how this expectation exerts control over the decisions you make about your eating habits, fashion picks, workout plans, and so on.

3. See how your constant concern over your appearance negatively influences the way you think about yourself and leads to an ongoing experience of self-doubt.

4. Watch how the obsession about how you look interferes with your relationships.

5. Understand that the expectation to look a certain way may isolate you and often gets you to act with insincerity toward others.

6. Ask yourself if you really want these pressures in your life.

7. Notice when you are engaged in activities or events that give your life meaning and during which how you look or what you eat become a non-issue.

8. Make distinctions between when you are doing something that feels good to you and when you are caught by how you think you are “supposed to” look or feel.

9. Reconnect with what you do in your body that has always felt good: like dancing or doing yoga or swimming or playing tennis or whatever.

10. Delight in what delights you.

Remember that battling the expectation to look a certain way is life long, because we live in a culture where appearance is important. But you don’t have to let it create self-doubt. You can be in the driver’s seat and decide for yourself what works for you. You can live with confidence!

Victoria C. Dickerson, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist who has been teaching narrative ideas and practices in workshops and seminars worldwide for over twenty years. She is the recipient of the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Family Therapy Academy.

21 Comments

  1. Olive Williams

    Love this article! Learned so much and should be shared to every women to let them know that whatever their size may be, they’re still and will always be accepted and loved!

  2. Carrie Bleau

    this is one good article! it enlightens women about being confident with their ownselves. good job!

  3. Sherry Manust

    The internet should stop body shaming. Urbanette, continue teaching womens to learn to love themselves. Thank you!

  4. Everyone wants to fit into this society and let themselves get feed up with the media pressure. Sucks!

  5. Kimberly Holder

    Every woman, especially teens and those younger generations, should keep in mind that those bodies of Victoria Secret models, Kim Kardashian, and Kylie Jenner aren’t the realistic ones. They are ideal, yes, but IMO, not true. Each and every one of us has their own body time and we should embrace it. Love yourself!

  6. Robert Patel

    Anorexia is different from being fit. A lot of people are being confused by the two. Mistakenly thought that they are same. Many women starve themselves just to get thinner “to fit into the society”. Sad news

  7. Ani Hoker

    This is some good advice!Everyone should take a piece of their time and read this!

  8. Katherine Donnelly

    Fat-shaming always happens! I am kinda chubby but idgaf if they don’t like me cause I’m fat! It’s your life, you shouldn’t listen to them and live with you own life together

  9. George Sumanta

    Most people are into obsessing onto losing weight when all they need to lose are those insecurities!

  10. People nowadays is eaten by the system of the society. When you’re thick, just because it doesn’t fit into their ideal body, means you’re ugly and should lose weight to look “beautiful”. When you’re thin, even as thin as a skeleton, you’re still “beautiful” because you don’t have fats in your belly!

  11. I was chubby while I was growing up but thankfully, I wasn’t being pressured to lose more weight by my parents. They were all saying that as long as I am not obese and having problems with my health, I am looking really great.

  12. Randie Cadiogan

    Great article! The media is really way too influential. I guess we should teach girls at a very young age to be proud and contented.

  13. That’s “media pressure.” People are obsessed with appearance because it’s what media implies. Particularly for young ladies, they find it hard to just love themselves and be contented. Media is really influential that’s why change should come from the media first. That’s what I believe 🙂

  14. Jen Spillane

    It seems that just being able to accept that you do fall for some of this stuff and do desire to look a certain way is a really big step. I wish I could say I was never swayed by the pressure, but of course I am, and I've found that letting that be there–but without letting it impact my actual lifestyle or thoughts too much–has been helpful.

  15. I love that this article gives tips on "beating" these magazines. While the material produced is very problematic, we can still control how we choose to interact or respond to it.

  16. Courtney Watson

    It's really difficult not to fall for this. We see models everywhere in media and it's intimidating. As a female, I used to find myself comparing my appearance to others. But as I mature, I'm able to resist this and I’m proud of it. It’s my achievement! 😉

  17. Jen Garcia

    Sometimes, it’s hard to understand why other people are so obsessed with appearance. I always believe that as long as you love yourself and happy with how you look, you’ll always be beautiful.

  18. Hannah Mayers

    Conquer the self doubt! 🙂 

  19. Gabrielle Williams

    There’s nothing wrong with going for your ideal body but if it hurts you or makes you unhealthy along the way, then I don’t think it would be worth it. It’s important to know yourself, your limitations, and to love your self first and make that self-love be the motivating force for you to have a good body. But remember, being thin doesn’t necessarily equate to good health.

  20. Zenab Bello-Osagie

    People is obsessed with getting thin. But in other countries, many people die of hunger. Very selfish 🙁

  21. Angela Davis

    “Becoming the new feminine ideal requires just the right amount of insecurity, bulimia, and surgery. ”

    This is very true.. I’d rather be flabby and bulgy than be unhappy.-

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