Relationships

Men Answer Your Questions About Love

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Think of a great relationship as though it were a great meal: A delicious, meaty steak of sexual passion accompanied by a fine, delicate wine of romance and commitment. Both of us want it all — the perfect, satisfying course. And we need both — steak by itself is dry and unsatisfying; and wine will get you tipsy, but it won’t satisfy your hunger. Now, before the metaphor police revoke my license, let me simply push this analogy a little further: men are a little more focused on the meat of the relationship, and women a bit more on the wine. But both sexes want to get up from the table completely satisfied.

Men Answer Your Questions About Love

Need evidence? More than three-fourths of men believe in soul mates. And when we asked our guys to choose between meeting the love of their life or having amazing sex for six months, 92 percent chose falling in love. (The other 8 percent were probably Maxim readers.) Consider what these three men said about the experience of falling in love:

“We need to feel love, loyalty, and chemistry above all else,” says Ian, 31.
“Men also feel the butterflies and giddiness that women do when they’re in love,” says Robert, 26.
“Women don’t realize most guys are in love long before they are willing to admit it to anyone,” says Drew, 30.

So, why then does it always seem like women are leading the relationship toward commitment, and men need to be dragged along like a preschooler to a dental appointment? Because in the early-on strategic game of dating, we need to see where you’re moving first. Consider this: less than half of men say they’re typically the first ones to say “I love you” in a relationship, and more women than men initially broach the subject of taking the relationship to the next level. That points to the notion that what men really want when it comes to love is your assurance — your permission, really — that it’s okay to let the butterflies out of the cage.

Question: Guys, do you believe you’ve met your soul mate?

  • Yes, I’m with her right now – 53 Percent
  • Yes, but we’re no longer together – 14 Percent
  • Yes, but we were never together as a couple – 9 Percent
  • No – 24 Percent

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Originally from Denver and now living in NYC, Angie has been writing since she was small. She lives in the Flatiron district with her partner Tanya and their mutt Sparky (always adopt!) In her spare time she loves to paint (mostly abstract) and talk to random people on the street to find out what's interesting to them.

6 Comments

  1. Courtney Watson

    This is a really good article! It is a fun read because men don’t usually talk about what they think and how they feel. I enjoyed reading this one 🙂

  2. I agree, it's nice to encourage women to take an equal part in the risk-taking of a new relationship 🙂

  3. Jen Spillane

    I love that this article makes the point that women need to be vulnerable too. It's not easy for us, but it's not easy for the men either!

  4. I think this is a very interesting article. I’m tired of hearing of women giving other women advice on love. Although women know what we want, sometimes its good to get a male’s perspective on things. As women we tend to overthink how our men feel about certain situations.

  5. Arabella Clarington

    Men are totally stereotyped as shallow and incapable of love, but that's just an inaccurate representation resulting from gender roles. Men can be hopeless romantics too, and they usually are! Society teaches them that they aren't allowed to be sappy, so they hide it.

  6. Gabrielle Williams

    In truth, there’s no step-by-step instruction in making men fall in love. In my opinion, if you meet someone you have a connection with, then that’s it… You have to be very lucky though, to never have to manipulate things or change yourself in order to make someone fall for you.

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