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The Downfall of Digital Dating & How to Overcome It

How to survive the dating game in the superficial world of digital dating.

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As technology evolves, so does the dating game. The good news is the modern gal isn’t without plenty of available bachelors right at her fingertips, literally. With one single tap of her phone, she has access to hundreds and hundreds of single men. The bad news, however, is that men and women judge books by their cover more than ever. Dating apps have become the libraries of single men and women who you can rent to take out, and the smartphone is the library card.

The Downfall of Digital Dating & How to Overcome It

Tinder: The New Rule to the Online Dating Game

In the past, websites like Match.com, eHarmony and OKCupid were the top resources for online dating. Then, Tinder came along and transformed digital dating with its quick and simple swipe interface. Forget filling out pages of a relationship questionnaire or reading profiles to find a potential match. With Tinder, it comes down to a glance at a single picture to determine a person’s worthiness of romantic pursuit (or one-night hook-up).

The dating mobile app is predicted to have nearly 50 million active users with 12 million matches. The app processes more than a billion swipes per day, and users spend about 90 minutes a day on the app, which surpasses the average time spent on Facebook. Not only is the swipe-style dating app popular and growing, but it’s addictive.

The Downfall of Digital Dating & How to Overcome It

An Unkind & Unrealistic Dating Landscape

Tinder presents a treacherous dating territory. You grow accustomed to easy access to hundreds of singletons, and there’s always potential for the next one to be more appealing and more attractive. Even while on a date, the high of a match can be more exciting to pursue than a true connection with real potential in person.

For example, a man in hot pursuit of “the next best thing” can mindlessly and unapologetically dispose of the person he’s currently dating or even just talking to. Known as “ghosting,” a disinterested man (or woman) drops communication and disappears without a trace, let alone an explanation. The options are endless, and everyone is merely just a profile, not a person.

Before you judge a man guilty of ghosting, think about how the phone screen also protects you. The dating world can be harsh, especially with the advent of dating through a mobile app that determines your eligibility based on the two L’s — looks and location. It’s no wonder you feel pressure to curate the perfect profile picture that makes you seem flawless. Competition in the dating game is fierce. To compete, you need a killer selfie, laid-back sense of humor, interest in fitness and football, perfectly timed wit and “cool girl” attitude.

The Downfall of Digital Dating & How to Overcome It

Stay Positive, He’s Out There

If you’re exasperated and exhausted with the modern dating culture, don’t lose hope. According to research by the Pew Research Center, 59 percent of Americans believe online dating is a good way to meet people. However, 88 percent of people (including myself) met their partner without the help of a digital platform. In other words, you should mix and match it up. Ask your friends to set you up. Keep looking for the one, both online and offline, with these dating tips:

  • Snap a selfie: Women who post selfies receive 4 percent more messages, claims a Zoosk study. Embrace your iPhone as a first-impression tool and capture spontaneous moments while out and about. You don’t have to pose in front of the mirror with pouty lips to attract a man, either. Live your life and snap a selfie during your happiest and most authentic moments.
  • Make new friends: A hot and heated hookup is romantic, but sometimes the most successful relationships grow from a trusting friendship. Expand your social circle over a shared interest, such as joining a running or hiking club. Meetup offers a wide range of groups for people to meet others without the pressure of romance and impressing one another. Create friendships and a date may just become an unexpected outcome.
  • Be present and open: Invest in online and offline dating by being present and giving everyone a fair chance. Focus on the person you’re interested in and ditch your own superficial cues. Also, be aware of when you may need to take a break from the dating app. If your head is constantly down with your face to the screen, you may be missing out on opportunities for real-life interactions that could lead to love.

Hilary‘s tip: “Don’t ever give up, and don’t ever settle! I was so close to resigning myself to either being single forever, or moving to a smaller city in hopes of finding more genuine guys there. Luckily, I have always been of the mindset that it’s better to be single than with someone who’s wrong for me, because I’d just broken up with a guy when a friend set me up on a blind date. I was so apathetic about dating at that point that I blew him off a couple of times before finally meeting him. Our first date was three hours long and we were engaged in just about a month. After years of bad first dates and two-faced men, I really didn’t see that coming!”

 

Want more? Check out an educated comparison of the top dating sitesone woman’s Internet dating experience, and a fun and adventurous guide to speed dating. You can also learn why you can’t find love in NYC, or how to hook (& keep) a real man.

Sarah enlightens us on a daily basis with the newest trends as (and often before) they transpire. She is the consummate globe trotter. Having traveled to over 70 countries, she earns her living writing, blogging and modeling while on the road. In her spare time she gets manicures, suntans on yachts in Greece, shops for even more shoes, and lives in the limelight. She loves photography, elephants, sailboats, bangles and ballet flats.

Reader Discussion: 48 Comments

  1. Merry Robinson

    This is interesting! I have never been a big fan of online dating sites. Thanks for giving us nice information.

  2. Jenny Garett

    When you’re into digital dating, you’ll feel pressured to decide immediately whether you like them or not. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn’t. That is life, you have to work for something. I won’t say I’ll never try using it again, but for now I’d rather just get out of the house and do the things I love, like exercising. Hopefully I’ll meet someone interesting that way.

  3. Cornelia Green

    People often forget that they are interacting with an actual human being, and treat the experience like it’s a shopping trip.

  4. Kimberly Vigil

    I’ve been in the online dating for quite a long time and I know a lot of people that have had got lucky with online dating. I met my fiance in an online dating site. I’m so happy that everything turned out really well for me. I think online dating has both ups and downs. It depends on how you handle every situation.

  5. Rosemary Robles

    You’ve discussed this pros and cons of digital dating in pretty good manner.

  6. Betty O'Leary

    You never know where you find true love. If you find it through an app, then so be it! Who cares, as long as you’re happy.

  7. Celine Carter

    There is nothing wrong with internet dating as long as you set out exactly what you are after. 🙂

  8. Lana Urie

    Why is everybody freaking out about online dating or date apps? It doesn’t create or change anything, it merely enables a desire that already exists. People still fall in love, get married, do normal things. Apparently we are less promiscuous than half a generation ago. The World has not ended.

  9. Marina Henderson

    With internet dating, people are always looking for the bigger, better deal, everyone messes everyone else about and success rates for online dating are quite low as a result.

  10. Some comments made me cringe. If that’s what people want to do let them. If you’re not up for it, don’t do it. As for all this ‘people don’t socialise anymore’, what? Try going to a cocktail bar on a Friday night, you’ll actually find rather a lot of people there!

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