4 Steps to Reboot Your Self-Esteem - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog


4 Steps to Reboot Your Self-Esteem

Somehow, I knew that any initiative to feel better would have to start with me.


Like most people, I’ve always been too modest to give myself much credit. It wasn’t until I started wondering why, and doing some research, that I learned that this modesty reflects my level of self-esteem. I would like to feel better about myself, more confident and capable–but ultimately, I need to love myself more.

4 Steps to Reboot Your Self-EsteemDon’t get me wrong: people who boast and have a big ego also do so out of insecurity. It’s just a different way of manifesting it. It’s the people who can take a compliment gracefully and confidently talk about their accomplishments when asked, without over-stating or bragging, that have the most healthy self-esteem.

The dictionary defines esteem as “to regard with respect; to prize, to appreciate. To recognize the quality, significance, or magnitude of, to admire greatly; to value.”

Low self-esteem causes a spiral of insecurities.

Some years ago, I was going through a dark time in my life. I was broke — financially, socially, and even spiritually. While describing it to a friend, I said, “I had the self-esteem of a dead rat.” Clearly, I wasn’t doing too well.

Somehow, I knew that any initiative to feel better would have to start with me. It would have be an inner transformation first. Here are the four steps I took that were critical to getting me back on the right path:


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Originally from Denver and now living in NYC, Angie has been writing since she was small. She lives in the Flatiron district with her partner Tanya and their mutt Sparky (always adopt!) In her spare time she loves to paint (mostly abstract) and talk to random people on the street to find out what's interesting to them.

Reader Discussion: 48 Comments

  1. Jen Garcia

    “People put you down enough you start to believe…..”
    “The bad stuff is easier to believe….”

    These are my favorite lines from Julia Roberts’ movie “Pretty Woman.”

    Whether we admit it or not, we are easily influenced by what other people say and the sad thing is we choose to be affected by the negative comments rather than the positive ones. I personally believe that loving and believing in yourself, potentials and capabilities can help you combat all these “negative energies” and you’ll be on your way to have a great self-esteem!

  2. Courtney Watson

    WE cannot please everybody because other people will always have something to say. And thinking about how they will react or think about what we do will just lower our self-esteem. Stop thinking about them!

  3. Hannah Mayers

    For me, respecting yourself is the best way to overhaul self-esteem. If you have self-respect, you will be totally happy and will be able to be free with all those negative energy which are pulling you down!

  4. Jen Spillane

    “Getting rid of the weeds” is the first step! Get away with people who bring and give you negative energy. Constructive criticisms are good and healthy, but there are criticisms which are not really good. I think it depends on how people say it to you. Most of the time, people who would want to bring us down and lower our self-esteem “pretend” to be our friend and it will be hard for us to discover and get rid of these “weeds.” But my belief is, once you discover these “weeds,” get RID OFF THEM IMMEDIATELY!

  5. I agree that doing great things will help with self-esteem. Trying to do something productive or nice (even if you start small) can help increase your feeling of self-worth because it will give you a tangible thing to feel good about.

  6. Randie Cadiogan

    Whatever you do, whatever you achieve, there will always be people who will try to bring you down that will make you feel insecure and unsuccessful.

    I used to live thinking what society will think or how society will react. But I realized that no matter what I do, I cannot please everybody. So what I did is stay away from people who are constantly reacting negatively and join with people who are full of positivism and optimism. And that boosted my self-esteem.

  7. Everyone has some sort of self esteem issue, it's apart of life. Women especially struggles with accepting their physical appearances. I don't want to blame society, but it has a lot to do with the way we view appearances. We have control over our own thoughts and feelings towards ourselves,,so it is up to you to get rid of insecurities. I do believe surrounding yourself around positive people will help, they'll bring the best out of you and make you truly happy.

  8. Arabella Clarington

    Your self esteem is really up to you. Change the way you view yourself by changing a few other things in your life.The things mentioned in the article are really good tips on how to give your self esteem a strong and big boost! 🙂 

  9. Joanna Garado

    For me, having the right kind of friends helps. That’s true, if you don’t like the company you’re keeping, then find a new set of friends. DOnt be afraid to stir up the status quo.

  10. Angela Davis

    I don’t know if it’s true for everybody else, but I find my self esteem at best when I look my best, physically. How I look physically usually reflects how I feel and vice versa.

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