4 Steps to Reboot Your Self-Esteem - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog


4 Steps to Reboot Your Self-Esteem


Like most people, I’ve always been too modest to give myself much credit. It wasn’t until I started wondering why, and doing some research, that I learned that this modesty reflects my level of self-esteem. I would like to feel better about myself, more confident and capable–but ultimately, I need to love myself more.

4 Steps to Reboot Your Self-EsteemDon’t get me wrong: people who boast and have a big ego also do so out of insecurity. It’s just a different way of manifesting it. It’s the people who can take a compliment gracefully and confidently talk about their accomplishments when asked, without over-stating or bragging, that have the most healthy self-esteem.

The dictionary defines esteem as “to regard with respect; to prize, to appreciate. To recognize the quality, significance, or magnitude of, to admire greatly; to value.”

Low self-esteem causes a spiral of insecurities.

Some years ago, I was going through a dark time in my life. I was broke — financially, socially, and even spiritually. While describing it to a friend, I said, “I had the self-esteem of a dead rat.” Clearly, I wasn’t doing too well.

Somehow, I knew that any initiative to feel better would have to start with me. It would have be an inner transformation first. Here are the four steps I took that were critical to getting me back on the right path:


Pages: 1 2 3

Originally from Denver and now living in NYC, Angie has been writing since she was small. She lives in the Flatiron district with her partner Tanya and their mutt Sparky (always adopt!) In her spare time she loves to paint (mostly abstract) and talk to random people on the street to find out what's interesting to them.


  1. Jessi Agusta

    Positivity will bring good vibes to you, and you’ll do great things. Start ditching the negativity, and living with positive life. 😉

  2. Nancy Smith

    OMG!!! Thank you, Urbanette!!!! This article will help me in my down times. I have a low self-esteem because my parents are nagging me always.

  3. Jossen Row

    We all have that friend that will brag your fault, and acts like an angel. Well, sorry for you, because you ain’t going to drag me down. 😉

    • Martin Juyes

      That’s the spirit! Go go go!

  4. Linda Williams

    Too much pressure. One of the reasons why people are depressed and have a low self-esteem. They thought that they are not good, and they feel worthless. 😡

  5. Blanche Martina

    Getting rejected on something can lower your self-esteem. Rejection is part of our life, and you have to deal with it.

  6. Carol Joyner

    IDGAF on what other people think of me. It will just destroy my way of thinking, and that can be a problem.

    • Britni Baynes

      I agree. Who cares about my life? It’s mine, not yours.

  7. Kelly Gonzales

    Having a low self-esteem can ruin your life. You have hesitations in life, and you are not comfortable with who you are.

  8. Ani Hoker

    Can you please explain how happen that we are not our feelings? We feel it, so that is ourselves.

  9. steev smith

    Whatever you do will always reflect you. You have to be aware of all your doings so that other people won’t judge you.

  10. Jeweli Prater

    I keep my circle of friends small because of this. You can’t trust anyone. Even your old friends can betray you, and drag you down.

  11. Marina Bozek

    I don’t think of my problem in a negative way. I always ensure that I will solve it, and avoid overthinking it too much.

  12. Lana Wiliam

    Help yourself. In a situation like this, you will need to get up on your own and be the better version of you.

    • Luthi Sanders

      You only have yourself, being dependent on other people won’t help you to grow up.

  13. Selli Coaze

    You have to know what other people will thin of you, not because you let them run you, but to avoid getting a bad reputation.

  14. Rosetta Armendariz

    Women are very sensitive. Even a single mistake in their life can lower their self-esteem.

  15. Honey Smith

    I have a friend who always brags my mistake in front of other people. Even in front of my family, she always tells my mistakes, and my reputation is being stepped on. I have to get rid her in my life now.

  16. Maria Bruce

    When I was in high school, my mother told me that I should go to med school to pursue her dream for me to become a doctor. I wasn’t good in academics, and I am afraid that I might disappoint her, but a friend of mine helped me to stand up, motivates me.

    • Yuliya Bruce

      Your parents should understand you, and you’re lucky to have that kind of friend.

  17. Robert Patel

    We all have a problem, but too much dealing with them is not healthy for you.

  18. Michelle Lee

    I am afraid that I may disappoint my parents, that their daughter is not as good as they think. I am scared of everybody’s impression of me. 😢

  19. Jodi Thil

    It is never too late to correct your mistakes from the past. It might be the reason that ruined your past, get up and do something better to make it up.

  20. Olive Williams

    I have a friend who has a low self-esteem. She keeps on telling me that she’s a worthless, ugly, jobless person and no one likes her. I felt offended, and pity at the same time.

  21. Quin Meri

    I hate people who highlight your mistakes. Yeah, I know my mistakes you don’t have to brag it. I am not perfect, and you are too, so please, have some respect. Duh.

  22. Paul Daiz

    My GF always told me that whenever she is on her down point, she wants me to be on her side to regain her strength. It is nice to know that I am a person’s strength.

  23. Evelyn Harris

    I had a low self-esteem before. It was because of my situation. I just straight up my mind and stand up on my own. You only have yourself to help you.

    • Angelo Henderso

      Good job!

  24. Eloisa Clay

    I just think positive. I handled my problems with care because a simple mistake can make it worst. You don’t have to stress yourself because it will just let you down.

  25. Lancy Stanford

    My family is my number one supporter. When I was in my down moments, I didn’t fight alone, but they are there for me. They support me until I get back on track.

  26. Kseniya Tomlin

    If you feel down, don’t overthink too much. It can cause depression and lower of your self-esteem. Having a lower self-esteem is no good. You will look sick, and tired every time.

  27. Alena Martin

    Sometimes, you don’t need someone to lift you up. You can stand up on your own. Telling your problem with other people is sometimes, useless.

  28. Joss Butler

    I saw my wife on her down moments, and I was hurt whenever I see her crying. As a husband, I ensure that she feel the love that she needs, all the attention, and care.

    • Cries Moris

      She’s lucky to have you as her husband. 🙂

  29. Juli Woods

    Get rid of toxic people from your life is very helpful. It’s like you are keeping a heavy object, and once you let go of it, you feel lighter.

  30. Bela Christo

    Wow. I can’t believe that you’ve suffered that much before. I mean, look at you now, you are living your life to the fullest.

  31. For me, doing things you've never done is the best way to boost self-esteem. If you always do what you've done, then you 'll be familiar or you'll be aware of the results. So nothing new, nothing exciting is about to happen. But if you dare try doing something new, something very strange or unfamiliar and you get excellent or positive results, then you'll have that confidence that you never had.

  32. Gabrielle Williams

    This article does a good job in defining self-esteem and steps to improve it. I especially like the mention of the spiral: actions-feelings-beliefs. But to have a sustainable high level of self-esteem I think one has to acknowledge the role of the subconscious mind and dig deeper, using hypnosis programs and the like. to gain a more permanent improvement.

  33. Jen Garcia

    “People put you down enough you start to believe…..”
    “The bad stuff is easier to believe….”

    These are my favorite lines from Julia Roberts’ movie “Pretty Woman.”

    Whether we admit it or not, we are easily influenced by what other people say and the sad thing is we choose to be affected by the negative comments rather than the positive ones. I personally believe that loving and believing in yourself, potentials and capabilities can help you combat all these “negative energies” and you’ll be on your way to have a great self-esteem!

  34. Courtney Watson

    WE cannot please everybody because other people will always have something to say. And thinking about how they will react or think about what we do will just lower our self-esteem. Stop thinking about them!

  35. Hannah Mayers

    For me, respecting yourself is the best way to overhaul self-esteem. If you have self-respect, you will be totally happy and will be able to be free with all those negative energy which are pulling you down!

  36. Jen Spillane

    “Getting rid of the weeds” is the first step! Get away with people who bring and give you negative energy. Constructive criticisms are good and healthy, but there are criticisms which are not really good. I think it depends on how people say it to you. Most of the time, people who would want to bring us down and lower our self-esteem “pretend” to be our friend and it will be hard for us to discover and get rid of these “weeds.” But my belief is, once you discover these “weeds,” get RID OFF THEM IMMEDIATELY!

  37. I agree that doing great things will help with self-esteem. Trying to do something productive or nice (even if you start small) can help increase your feeling of self-worth because it will give you a tangible thing to feel good about.

  38. Randie Cadiogan

    Whatever you do, whatever you achieve, there will always be people who will try to bring you down that will make you feel insecure and unsuccessful.

    I used to live thinking what society will think or how society will react. But I realized that no matter what I do, I cannot please everybody. So what I did is stay away from people who are constantly reacting negatively and join with people who are full of positivism and optimism. And that boosted my self-esteem.

  39. Everyone has some sort of self esteem issue, it's apart of life. Women especially struggles with accepting their physical appearances. I don't want to blame society, but it has a lot to do with the way we view appearances. We have control over our own thoughts and feelings towards ourselves,,so it is up to you to get rid of insecurities. I do believe surrounding yourself around positive people will help, they'll bring the best out of you and make you truly happy.

  40. Arabella Clarington

    Your self esteem is really up to you. Change the way you view yourself by changing a few other things in your life.The things mentioned in the article are really good tips on how to give your self esteem a strong and big boost! 🙂 

  41. Joanna Garado

    For me, having the right kind of friends helps. That’s true, if you don’t like the company you’re keeping, then find a new set of friends. DOnt be afraid to stir up the status quo.

  42. Angela Davis

    I don’t know if it’s true for everybody else, but I find my self esteem at best when I look my best, physically. How I look physically usually reflects how I feel and vice versa.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *