How I Got Tongue-Lashed By Porn Addicts - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog

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How I Got Tongue-Lashed By Porn Addicts

How the backlash from one Urbanette article became overwhelming… then inspiring.

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‘Striking a chord’ is an understatement when I think of the last article I wrote for Urbanette. The article discussed the detrimental effects of gonzo pornography (ie. the type that’s especially degrading to women, shot from the male perspective). Following its publication, my Twitter account was set ablaze with protestation, all but drowning out the voices of supporters.

How I Got Tongue-Lashed By Porn Addicts

Thousands upon thousands of tweets arrived in my notification box channelling – well, ‘hate’. These ranged from insults about the way I look and my supposed ‘jealousy’ of pornstars, to accusations of having been ‘kiddie fiddled’ as a child (yeah, that was a new term to me, too). Amidst all of this were the shocking threats of brutal violence; not from a few, but from many. The tweets came from porn stars themselves, like current flavor, Mercedes Carrera (who I recently became aware of); the ‘die hard’ fans (who are a law unto themselves!) and many, many very angry men (to be explained…!).

All because I spoke out against pornography.

How I Got Tongue-Lashed By Porn Addicts

 

And yet it wasn’t all bad. I was simultaneously receiving messages from both women and (a few) men who understood and supported the article’s message of exposing sex industry abuses. They elevated my spirits, lifting me out of the deep swamp of negativity. Although I felt like a moving target, I saw this backlash as opportunity. What was revealed was what we don’t usually get to see in academia. This was real-time, visceral feedback and findings on degradation-porn’s relationship to its fans.

How I Got Tongue-Lashed By Porn Addicts

How I Got Tongue-Lashed By Porn Addicts

 

As the days unfolded, and the varying degrees of abuse hit my inbox, I quickly realised that I had incidentally kicked a hornet’s nest. The anger conveyed was akin to a religious fundamentalist’s response after having their belief system challenged. Or the reaction you’d get after expressing support for Millwall FC at West Ham United match in the UK (they hate each other!).

For the porn fans, was it the threat of having their comfort zones examined? Had they become so accustomed to high speed vast arrays of hot babes getting dp’d that they now couldn’t live without them? The answer, technically, is yes.

You see, gonzo porn, in its full degrading technicolour glory, has created a society of helpless (but not hopeless) addicts. And this type of addiction is the same as that of a hard drug — it’s a bonafide physical dependence. Science has shown us that real neurological changes happen in the porn addict’s brain. Yes, porn actually physically changes the viewer’s brain. New neural pathways are created to accommodate the unnatural speed of arousal when viewing boundless quantities of extreme, explicit imagery.

As the porn addict slowly adapts to this unnatural, digital environment, there are consequences. Erectile dysfunction, and becoming desensitized to real sex and lovemaking, is not the least of them. You can read more about that in This is Your Brain on Porn.

How I Got Tongue-Lashed By Porn Addicts

How I Got Tongue-Lashed By Porn Addicts

How I Got Tongue-Lashed By Porn Addicts

Many consider pornographic actor, producer, director, Max Hardcore (AKA Paul Little) to be the father of degradation porn. Max initiated the puking, choking and fisting of women as solid codes of porn. As it turned out, demand was huge and he made millions. I find it interesting that he was brought to trial many times for child pornography distribution and obscenity, but it regularly resulted in a ‘hung jury’. We have to ask ourselves whether Max, and his love of sexualizing children and brutalizing women, struck a certain mutual approval with members of the jury, aiding him in his many acquittals. Although his influence permeates the the gonzo genre, whilst not using children in his scenes, Little often makes the actresses admit to being ‘twelve years old’ on camera. He eventually spent two and a half years in prison convicted of obscenity after extreme, degrading content relating to children and women were seized by FBI.

I guess what I expected the least was the reaction from women currently working in the sex industry. A far cry from solidarity amongst our gender, in its place arrived a show of anger and hate with declarations of how much they love sex. But it isn’t real sex that we are talking about here, it’s pretending to like porn-sex for money; more money than a working-class women could earn. Of course they pledge allegiance to an industry that will feed their kids and pay for the roof over their heads. After all, how many of us ever consider biting the hand that feeds us?

But this is the patriarchal bargain. For their mistreatment and the graphic display of their bodies, they get to buy the necessities – and a bit more.

And even if they lie about the empowerment they feel (when the truth is they hate the perving strangers), at least in bringing these issues to light, they will be forced to acknowledge the unavoidable truth: that it’s all a lie. It’s not in alignment with true liberalism at all. None of us like the perverts. It’s just a way to survive. Gonzo porn is the least liberally progressive phenomenon of our time, and as oppressive as the extremely racist speeches of the far ring-wing circa Donald Trump.

 

Now, read the article that sparked all the controversy: The Sex Industry, Gonzo Porn and Me…

Vikki Dark is a British writer and academic whose oeuvre spans erotica, biography and transgressive fiction. Her latest book, about an adult film star, focuses on contemporary feminism relevant to cyber culture and sex.

Reader Discussion: 80 Comments

  1. Butter Balls

    Mercedes Carrera was merely annoyed by your feminist paternalism, which is hardly surprising. I would imagine anyone in the industry would be annoyed by it (as well as many people not in it). You mistake your tastes, morals and beliefs as universal rules which should govern everyone’s sexual behaviour.

    Your style of feminism is a re-branding of the behaviour of upper middle class Christian women who went out ‘saving’ unwilling ‘fallen’ women. It is prudishness masquerading as social conscience, and unwanted meddling posing as empathy and emancipation.

    Also when it comes to being abusive feminists are masters, or should that be mistresses?

  2. Kevin Shipp

    You have a powerful message Vikki so Keep speaking. We men need to be made aware of the rampant abuse that goes on within this industry we greedily consume.

    • Agreed! I try not to look at porn because it’s usually so degrading to women, and I don’t want to ever, even for a minute, look at women that way. It’s much healthier to go out and meet women to have something real with then to use porn on a regular basis.

  3. Steven Gibbons

    Excellent article.
    I’ve shared this on twitter and Facebook.
    An insightful discussion on porn,how people involved can be/feel protected,and how acts of sex can be shown in a pleasurable way between people is important.
    Porn at present isn’t about pleasure and love,and its depiction of women especially is bleak and disposable

  4. Molly Twain

    It’s obvious that pornography brings far more harm to our society than good. These negative actions and attitudes against women make it clear that pornography is against the humanist idea that all people are worthy of safety and respect.

  5. Lynn Hayes

    It’s about what society believes is enjoyed and how this oppresses women. Women are seen as aobjects in porn. Porn vids only focus on the female in hetero porn. It’s an industry focused on exploiting girls and perpetuating a beauty standard, not only just violent!

    • Rachel Swindon

      The way that porn equates sex with violence and debases women is both disturbing and out of line with the tenants and ideals of humanism.

  6. Evelyn Sandler

    Those people who lashed you on Twitter are deluded cause they don’t realize the extent of violence in the porn world and how porn is often depicted in a degrading manner against women as well as increasing the abuse and usurpation of women/children etc as a result of increases in porn. So many males defend porn, even a few sick women too, it’s obviously their addiction and it’s sad that so many people can’t see how degrading it is to treat human sexuality that way.

    • Please come and support us on this link. We have real chance of change:
      http://www.desideriamo.it/desideri/protect-human-rights-pornography-2/

      Please come and voice your opinions to this vital debate Ladies.

      Thank you Evelyn. Women who support gonzo porn are conforming to what misogynists want. They are not feminists. They are pawns in a profiteers world. Now its affecting everybody

      Best wishes

      Vikki Dark

      • Kevin Shipp

        Proud you’re still fighting the good fight. Keep speaking out Vikki, You have A powerful message. And there is growing a grass roots movement of men deciding to not watch porn again.

        • Butter Balls

          Yes, they’re called eunuchs.

    • Matilda Parker

      Very true. These men need to understand that the role violence plays in pornography trivializes rape, sexual aggression, and other forms of abuse. When we encourage males to include dehumanizing acts in sex and teach women to accept various forms of violence against them as a “natural” part of sexual activity, we are condoning violence against women.

  7. Sabrina Grattidge

    Porn degrades women greatly. If a child grows up in a racist environment, chances are he’s going to be racist. We grow up thinking porn is just a normal thing though porn completely caters to the male point of view of everything. female Pornstars literally come out and say porn doesn’t really feel good for them because of how they must show off the action. Those who disagree should look up more articles and interviews and get woke. In the majority (90% at least) the female is being dominated even if it doesn’t look like it. If the guy wants sex, he gets it no matter what.

  8. Nicky Bryan

    Facts are facts! Porn teaches men to be disrespectful to women. That’s gotta be why those guys didn’t know how to show their disagreement with you in nicer words.

  9. Emma Blackwood

    Porn is problematic. Not only because they do violent act, but also that people start thinking that it’s the way sex is done, and that’s how they should do it. Especially younger people! They get their sex education from porn. Now what kind of sexual behaviours would you expect from a man who’s “learnt it all” from porn?

  10. Pearl Nguyen

    Of course the porn lovers would react badly, it’s what they learn from porn, to be violent, mean and rude… Hang in there, Vikki! Only a matter of time violent porn is banned, just like animal porn, and child porn were banned. As long as we stick to this cause, we can make it happen.

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