Relationship Advice: 5 Love-Saving Tips


Project Romance: 5 Secrets to Having It All


“Having it all” can be a pretty tall order to fill — loving marriage, fulfilling career, stylish home, well-behaved children, flat abs, homemade dinners. Yes, comparing real life to the perfect pictures on Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook can be incredibly discouraging, especially when your kids are running rampant and dinner is plain-jane grilled cheese. Again.

Project Romance: 5 Secrets to Having It All

Fortunately, the secret to balancing all of these important aspects of your life is knowing when to step back and invest in romance. Romance is often the first aspect to get sacrificed, but if you can keep the romance alive then smiling through life’s annoyances and balancing work with soccer practice will feel a whole lot easier.

Psychology Today claims that happy couples have 20 positive daily interactions for every negative one. Intrigued? Follow these five tips to carve out a little more time for romance and watch as your life’s balance melts into place:

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A writer, artist and designer since she was young enough to put pencil to paper, Hilary spends most of her time in France, but still considers herself a New Yorker, and visits regularly. Hilary spent the past decade living in NYC and has traveled extensively around the world, looking for hot new topics, destinations, and brands to bring to Urbanette readers.


  1. Paul Daiz

    Wow! Amazing tips! Will share this to my lovely dear. She will surely love the idea of helping and sharing others. Thanks, Urbanette.

  2. Katherine Donnelly

    The romance shouldn’t fade away even if you’re married. It is very important in every relationship because it will make the love last longer. It’s not about fancy dates and sex’s, it’s about how you make time for your partner and making an effort with your busy schedule.

  3. George Sumanta

    The date shouldn’t be the guy’s plan, it can also be the girl’s plan. Planning a date for you and your husband is not bad, it’s a romantic way to spend your free time with your partner.

  4. Britni Baynes

    spice up your relationship, not just for having sex, but for having a good bonding time together. It’s like you’re dating again, being young and free.

  5. Jeweli Prater

    We will try all of these tips. Pretty sure, one will work for us. We are trying our best to work this relationship, not just for us, but for our children as well.

  6. Linda Williams

    I love reading you articles, Hilary. I’m married for 2 years already, and your articles are my inspiration.

  7. Even if you’re not married, your career and relationship with your partner should be balanced. It is the key to a relationship to last.

  8. Mildred Davis

    Hey, that’s what my friends are doing. They volunteer doing charity work with their husbands. I though it’s some kind of a tripping, but I guess it’s a good tripping.

  9. Kathryn Gibson

    How sweet.. I wish my husband would do something like surprise dinner, even on our veranda.

  10. Monique Malick

    I’m glad that Hilary wrote something like this. A friend of mine is in need of help as their marriage is on its edge already. Gonna share this with her.

  11. Blanche Martina

    Awww…. Now I know how lucky I am with my partner. He always ensures that we have our time together. Even if he’s tired at work, he makes time talk to me how things are done throughout the day. I feel like we’re just dating. Love you, Honey.

  12. Lancy Stanford

    I am now booking a trip to Miami with my husband. He’s been wanting for us to travel together, but we have no time because of work. After reading this, I feel some conscience. Lol.

  13. We are going to have some new rules at home. Lol Thanky Hilary! Mwah!

  14. Marina Josef

    I can relate to this situation. We’ve been living together for 2 years, but we’re not married yet. I’m scared of getting a divorce, that is why I’m not ready for marriage. My partner is not happy anymore because I am more into my work these past few months, I think I’ll need some time off to make him happy.

  15. Luthi Sanders

    I love how Urbanette helps a married couple to solve their problems. I am one of your fan Hilary! More power! Fight!

  16. Marina Bozek

    I live with my boyfriend for 4 months, and we’re having some trouble difficulties about our time. I have 2 jobs. When I got home, he’s sleeping already, and when I woke up he’s off to work. Thanks, Urbanette. This is really helpful 🙂

  17. Kseniya Tomlin

    I think you should also include, pigging out together, playing LAN games, and watching Netflix. It’s the modern dating ya know.

  18. Jesse Wyss

    Aaaaah! OMG! This article is a whack! I am in need of this. We always argue about time management, I don’t know what to do. This is a huge help! Thanks!

  19. Jessie Fernande

    I’m single, yet, I think I need this one. Lol. Getting ready, so that when I’m married, I know what to do.

  20. Romance is not about sex, it’s about putting a spark on your relationship even if you’re already married. The romance shouldn’t be dead because you’re married. It should be alive and burning as time goes by to make the relationship last long.

  21. Lana Wiliam

    You don’t need to go out on a fancy date just to feel the romance. A simple date at home is cheesier because he exerts effort on that, with a little cash to spend.

  22. Alena Martin

    Hmmm.. sweating together will not just help you to get physically healthy, but your relationship will get healthy as well. I like it ^.^

  23. Nataliya Smith

    Married life is not easy, you have to take care of your kids while working, and having time for your spouse is the least on your list. Don’t forget to make time for him, a little spare time is important to maintain the spark in your relationship.

  24. Jurik Smith

    Having it all is not impossible. Don’t lose hope, if you’re on the edge of your relationship, make it work. Following these tips will surely help you with that.

  25. Angelo Henderso

    Romance is really important, especially in marriage. Love is not enough to maintain the relationship you have with your spouse. It is important that you two both have time for each other.

  26. Olive Williams

    Hah! I am sharing this article with my hubby! These are great articles.

  27. Carol Joyner

    I always ensure that my husband and I, have a quality time together. We let our kids sleep at their grandparent’s house every Friday up to Sunday morning so that we can have our time together.

  28. I love the idea of planning ahead of time. From now on, I’ll make sure that we will have at least a day to bond each month. Yay!

  29. Candis Melton

    Thank you, Hilary, for making helpful tips to women. This is a great article to read especially for women who are seeking for help on how they can spruce up their relationship.

  30. I’m afraid that one day, my husband files a divorce because I don’t have much time for him. A time together is really important because it gives flames to your relationship to heat it up.

  31. Jodi Thil

    Time balancing is quite difficult when you are already married. You have a lot of things that you need to do, and having a quality time for your partner is impossible.

  32. Heidi Cagle

    Career and romantic relationships… It’s hard to be successful with both. Often times, couples neglect to nurture relationship the same degree that careers are nurtured! This article is very helpful!

  33. Kaye Ward

    We always can have it all, we just have to work it right 🙂 Balance is the spice of life and I make sure that from time to time, I assess my goals.

  34. This is such a good read. I would like to add that being romantic doesn’t mean being obsessive. There’s a difference between expressing appreciation and expecting a person to devote all of their time to you in return. You’re an individual, not just one half of a relationship, so don’t be consumed by your efforts to romance someone else. You can be romantic and be yourself at the same time.

  35. True romance is doing something special or unexpected for someone you love, even though you don’t have to. It is showing the person you love that you’re thinking about them. It shouldn’t feel forced. There are no limits to romance; it can be shown by a handwritten note, by going for a walk, or even by making someone a sandwich. Romance is something simple and sweet that reminds your partner why they fell in love with you in the first place.

  36. Great article! I’ve been married for three years. I feel like I’m still begging for quality time with him. He doesn’t like to go out. He rather watch TV than having a dinner date with me. I’m gonna let him read this article. Thank you!

  37. Romance offers emotional security to us. When your partner never shows his or her romantic side to you, don’t you get suspicious? Of course, in married relationships, romance must be there to keep the flame alive through decades. In the absence of romance, married life would be a dull affair. You must have seen many couples bonding well during the initial stages of their marriage and quarreling with each other after a few years. That is because of lack of romance. This is why romance must never be ignored.

  38. For me, romance is very important in a relationship. Many people think that having sex is romance. I believe no, romance is more than that and is more about bonding with each other and increasing the intimacy levels. It shows how much you are attracted to your partner and how much you care for him or her. Romance is the language in which we all express our cravings.

  39. I really needed this article! It’s soooo hard to find balance once you have kids. I totally agree about the romance aspect and how everything is so much easier if you feel fulfilled in that way. Thanks so much for the fantastic tips — I’m going to start doing them starting today 🙂

  40. I love bedroom picnics! It the fabulous little slices of life like that which are most memorable.

  41. I agree that romance is really important. I’ve watched friends in long-term relationships and sometimes they get to take their partners for granted. Some of them even become more excited seeing friends than talking about their partners. This actually makes me sad. People should make time to rekindle the romance in their relationships.

  42. I’ve never been in a relationship longer than 6 months (I travel too much), but even in short relationships, it’s so true that if you’re emotionally invested and it’s not working, nothing in your life goes smoothly because it takes up so much of your emotional bandwidth.

  43. Francis Woods

    I don’t have kids yet, but I’ve been in a long relationship (6 years) and I can totally relate. When the romance in my relationship suffered, it made my whole life crumble… I got cranky, I didn’t want to deal with chores, I got resentful, etc. Being happy with the level of romance in a relationship makes you feel like you can handle anything. I agree that it should never, ever, EVER be neglected.

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