How to Prevent Cheating

Relationships

7 Steps For Preventing Infidelity

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Sometimes even the best relationships can have hiccups. All relationships go through their ups-and-downs; the important thing is that we don’t let our ‘downs’ become disastrous. Here are a few tips to smoothen the ride, and avoid a breakup-worthy disaster.

7 Steps For Preventing Infidelity

1. Recognize that work can be a danger zone.

  • Don’t have lunch or take coffee breaks frequently with the same person.
  • Don’t get into discussions around the water cooler with co-workers that you find particularly attractive.
  • When you travel with a co-worker, meet in public rooms, not in a room with a bed.
  • At the office party, pretend the coworker who’s flirting with you has gonorrhea, then talk about your happy relationship, or better yet – talk to someone else.

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Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D. is the author of NOT "Just Friends": Protect Your Relationship from Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal.

22 Comments

  1. Well… I personally believe that relationship problems should be discussed with your partner and only the two of you should solve your issues to the best of your ability 🙂 Never ever "seek" help of an alcoholic drink…. LOL 😉

  2. I always believed that “honesty” and “trust” should be the foundation of every relationship. If I accidentally committed infidelity, I would try very hard to admit it. If my partner accidentally committed infidelity and he admits it, I would try very hard to understand and give him a second chance. Yes, it sounds hard to do, but I’ll really try….. (with fingers crossed that “infidelity” won’t happen to me and my partner) LOL!

  3. In everything we do, we should have a goal. The workplace is a place to earn (financially) and practice our profession. It’s great to gain friends at work but there should be a limit. Never lose control and focus!

  4. Randie Cadiogan

    Problems of the heart (at home) should be solved inside the home and not be brought in the workplace!

  5. Talking about your relationship with someone at work is a slippery slope. Good advice…

  6. Jen Garcia

    Today, I received a news that a good friend of mine caught her husband cheating on her. She learned about it through Facebook when his husband was “tagged” by one of his office colleagues. I’m not really sure if that colleague did it on purpose or she’s just so excited to post. I know for a fact that the husband’s office colleagues know he’s married. It’s really disheartening because they’ve been married for 14 years and I personally never imagined them going through this problem.

    I was so shocked that I really don’t know what to advice her so I’m searching through the Internet to help me give a very good advice for her. That’s why I landed on this page.

    I don’t know my friend’s FULL story yet. I’m one sided because it’s just the woman (my friend) whom I have talked to. I don’t know the other side of the story. When I checked on the “pictures” whom the husband has been tagged, it seems that “over consumption” of alcohol and emotional intimacy are the culprit.

    We definitely cannot avoid the workplace (and tempting office colleagues for that matter). But I think we can always prevent infidelity if we stay focused. We should remember that our primary goal in the workplace is to earn and practice a profession and NOT for anything else. Some socialization activities are good but be sure to limit yourself MOST ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE MARRIED.

  7. Hannah Mayers

    “Why did God make women so beautiful and man with such a loving heart?” 
    ― Walker Percy, Love in the Ruins

    Temptation is the root of infidelity. For me, the best way to prevent infidelity is to avoid these temptations. I totally agree that the workplace is such a “dangerous place.” Simply because most of our time is spent in the office / with our office mates.

    If you have problems at home, never ever bring it at the office (it’s not bad to share but never share it with the opposite sex). Lastly, learn to control yourself when taking in alcohol. Do not overconsume!

  8. Gabrielle Williams

    Well, infidelity happens. I’m not being pessimistic but I believe infidelity will happen no matter how hard you try to prevent it.

    For me, the real issue is, how do you deal with it? If you committed infidelity, are you brave enough to admit it?

    Or if your partner committed infidelity, would you be kind and trusting enough to accept him/her again?!

  9. Jen Spillane

    I really appreciate that this article presents cheating as something that one can take steps in order to actively avoid. So often affairs are portrayed as something that is out of the hands of the people involved. "It just happened," or "It was bound to happen," are common excuses, as those the people involved have no responsibility for what went down. This article shows how people can be accountable to themselves as well as their partners if they want to avoid infidelity. Well done!

  10. steve_m87

    craigmerch  

    You are wrong.

    My wife and I have both followed this basic principles and we have been happily married for 7 years. 

    You say “…Hundred of years have passed and nothing has changed. Why not accept that this is the way humans are…”. We didn’t have all of the social media and instant access to people the way we did hundreds of years ago. Today it only takes turning on your phone or computer to begin flirting with someone. It has only been this way for the past decade or so. Not hundreds of years. So you do have to be alert and communicative with your partner. 

    The one things that has not changed is that work is a danger zone. This has always been the case since it is the people we spend the most time with.

  11. steve_m87

    I can’t begin to tell you how many women (who have boyfriends and husbands) at my job break all of these rules. They go to “lunch” with just guys or are having two martini lunches with their customers. All of these bars in Downtown are like lubrication for Infedility.

  12. Stella Duroska

    I think friends will support the marriage if they support the guy you're marrying, which occurs when they like the guy and if the guy can "hang" your friends.

  13. Although these tips are very helpful, I think keeping things refreshing and young in a marriage is very important as well. Keep your husband interested by doing  something spontaneous. That may keep him from straying away.

  14. craigmerch

    BellaCarolina There’s a scene in Happiness (1998 film), where the grandfather is talking to his doctor about his health, his doctor says he is doing well, as long as he stays off the salt – later you see him taking extra salt. That’s what I think you’ll do to yourself if you deny what you are too often for too long.

  15. craigmerch

    Prevent? Why not accept? Accept that you don’t possess your spouse and they don’t possess you.
    No one is going to “follow” this.  You can show it to your husband (or wife) all you like, it wont make any difference. Hundreds of years have passed and nothing has changed. Why not accept that this is the way humans are (men and women). Change your language, change your mind set, accept that we are all keen lovers. The harm is in not accepting your nature and trying to control and suppress your innate desires.

    • BellaCarolina

      craigmerch It’s so refreshing to read this. I’ve learned that real communication, honesty, openness, and willingness to express desires between partners is so much more vital to a healthy, lasting relationship than strict monogamy. It’s nice to know there are reasonable strangers on the internet.

  16. Abbygayle

    Extramarital affairs always start with one seemingly innocent dinner date or a coffee time chat, heck, even a watercooler chat. The key is to nip it at the bud when mild flirting starts.

  17. Joanne Samonte

    Indeed, the work place is a danger zone!!!! I’ll let my husband read this 🙂

  18. Great tips. If only everyone followed these, I’m sure the divorce rate wouldn’t be nearly so high.

  19. Miss Independent Got Married

    I agree. WHen you’re married. Dont be his wife, wife. Be his mistress, wife. Get what I mean? 🙂

  20. FireFly

    i think the key to a good and honest relationship is good communication and to KEEP THE FIRE BURNING. you will not have your partner look for another when you keep them happy and contented. 😉

  21. Courtney Watson

    All relationships go through their ups-and-downs; the important thing is that we don’t let our ‘downs’ become disastrous. Here are a few tips to smooth the ride. Maintain appropriate walls and windows…

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