Epic Discoveries: How Friends Shape You, etc.


Should You Have Kids? + other Weekly Discoveries

How your friends shape you, questioning if you should have kids, epic endings, a funny gal and more…


We are all part of a global community, and in that spirit we take each Friday to spread the love to others who’ve inspired us. In our Great Discoveries series, we feature the most interesting articles, a must-watch video and the most inspirational quote we discovered this week. Please spread the love and enjoy your day!

Should You Have Kids? + other Weekly Discoveries

Tell Me Who You Spend Time With, And I Will Tell You Who You Are

Who do you spend time with? How do they make you who you are? [via Thought Catalog]

Should You Have Kids? + other Weekly Discoveries

Your Project Deserves a Good Death

Here’s the secret: endings are actually kind of awesome. [via Medium]

Amy Schumer’s Hilarious Acceptance Speech At The GLAMOUR Awards…  The funny gal had the whole room in hysterics.
Should You Have Kids? + other Weekly Discoveries

6 examples of subtle sexism that women still face at work

Women still face gender bias at work. It’s just harder to see. [via Business Insider]


Should You Have Kids? + other Weekly Discoveries

Should I Have Kids?

And why does everyone get to have an opinion, anyway? [via HelloGiggles]

‘We shall not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.’
-T. S. Eliot

Urbanette® is the thinking woman's lifestyle guide. Join tastemaker #HilaryRowland and discover the Urbanette® lifestyle: exciting, empowering and elegant.

Reader Discussion: 36 Comments

  1. Ingrid Winston

    Kids seem like an absolute nightmare. Don’t get me wrong, up until about the age of 6 they are cute but I really can’t see myself having them. I like doing my own, watching horror films and playing video games until 3am a weekend etc, I wouldn’t be able to do that if I was a mother.
    There’s also the inevitable grandkids. This women I work with has 2 grown up children of her own but on her days off she looks after her granddaughter, when her son got married she spent his wedding day looking after her grandkids.

    I really can’t really imagine doing that myself, spending 18 years raising kids and then helping with grandkids. Now that sounds selfish (but I like my free time)

  2. Charleen Washington

    I work for an emergency service, which is very male-dominated, as well as a uniformed-versus-non-uniformed staff divide.

    I’ve definitely been mistaken for the note-taker, but also just expected to take notes at meetings I am there to contribute to. One day I challenged it just by saying “are you asking me because I am the only non-uniformed person, or because I am the only woman?” That was the end of that.

    On a separate but funny note, my uncle just can’t understand women that aren’t nurses, teachers or secretaries. So he thinks I am a secretary and everytime I see him, it’s “How’s that secretarial job going?” I say “I actually head up a whole department. But it’s going fine, thanks”

  3. Sydney Nowak

    Has 0 kids = “You’re selfish”

    Has 1 kid = “You need to have another one, no one wants to grow up an only child.”

    Has 2 kids = “You have only boys/girls?” “Why not try one more time for a boy/girl?”

    Has 3 kids = “Now that your other children are older, wouldn’t it be nice to have another baby in the house?”

    Has 4 or more kids = “It’s a vagina, not a clown car.”

    There is no winning.

    • Andrea Mitchell

      Every human is selfish (which isn’t always a bad thing), but you’re right, there is no winning on this issue.

  4. Is it just me, or does it seem like most people on the internet really don’t want children? Not a judgment, just an observation.

    • Shannon Bradley

      I think people are more forthcoming about it online since they can control how/when they discuss it (and not deal with family and “friends” giving them crap), but I’m not sure that means a majority of internet users don’t want kids. I don’t know. I haven’t met majority of internet users.

  5. Celine Carter

    I’ve never wanted kids. Pretty much made up my mind when I was a kid in school, and realized I never wanted to deal with one of these as my own, per se. I get the “Aren’t you being selfish?” line a lot. I always respond with; “HELL YEAH I’M BEING SELFISH!” Why not? It’s my life. If I want to move somewhere else, I don’t want to be held back because of a child or family. I don’t want to even think about $$$$ and how much it costs to raise a child. hmm, let’s see. diapers or a night out. I’ll take the night out. Pass on the family name? I don’t give a fudge. I have nephews already anyways (not that that would matter to me about the family name). You’ll die alone and lonely. What?!? ever heard of, well, brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces, nephews, friends? geez, what kind of segregated and closed off family do people who force us to have kids and start a family, live with?

  6. Franny Pimms

    I have experienced all of things Business Insider mentioned and yes it is truly disheartening. I worked for everything that I have and I have a strong work ethic that keeps me driven. However, I have been passed over for promotions because I speak too “strongly” or am perceived as “too aggressive” or “too emotional” but when the same or similar behavior is displayed often by a male it is totally acceptable, professional, and rewarded. I thought that by the time my generation would hit the work force, some of these things would not exist. I have even been treated unfairly because of my age. There have been so many environments back a few years ago where I was the youngest person there and both women and men would treat me disparagingly because I was perceived as a threat because of my age. No one wanted a young person coming into their field telling them anything. Let alone a female.

    • Michelle Hewitt

      Yes, yes and yes! I have seen and been subjected to all of these sexists behaviors. I have to say it isn’t as bad as the 80’s, but it’s still very evident. If you say something about it, you are looked at aggressive, angry, pushy, having PMS, not able to take it, not emotional enough, too emotional… And ,t is worse for women of color. That’s why it’s so frustrating when I see any woman lording it over another woman. We have all been through it, we should all be sticking together on this.

      • Julia MacLean

        Yes, often race and gender are a factor, but the bottom line is power dynamics. I have seen women in higher status positions interrupt men in lower positions. In all cases, the person interrupted is supposed to stop speaking and listen, rather than hold their ground in the conversation and insist on respect.

  7. Monica Collins

    Great quote, amazing reading materials, and a funny video! You did amazing as always. Just wish that you’d post on the weekends too.

  8. Lana Urie

    I agree with Ryan. The type of friends you have reflect on the type of person you are… People are viewed to be what they are based on the kind of relationship they have with other people – friends, family or neighbors. Outsiders might judge you based on the kind of friends you have – if they see you with bad gangs, they assume you are also a bad guy. That’s what I think at least.

  9. Nancy Musselman

    Incredible round up. The Business Insider is soooo on point again! However, sexism doesn’t only come from men to women. Sadly, I have seen female managers apply these same techniques when delivering a performance review to other strong women. There are complaints from male counterparts that the tone is inappropriate when dealing with someone (female). And the female managers, whether they are turning a blind eye or just not wanting to rock the boat, deliver the message without asking for any clarifying information from their subordinate. It’s very sad to see this.

  10. Monica Conover

    Subtle sexism indeed is a thing we modern day women unfortunately are facing at work. But that doesn’t mean we should go along with it or ignore it. As our consciousness rises — awareness grows — of these subtle acts of sexism and racism will appear less subtle and will be recognized for their true hostile nature and, hopefully, will no longer be tolerated as somehow socially-acceptable.

  11. Deborah Henry

    I completely agree with Ryan Holiday. If I may quote “The fast and the furious: Tokyo drift” : “Who you choose to be around you lets you know who you are” We humans tend to keep those who we are comfortable with or enjoy being with, close to us. The things you look for are often visible on these people, and who you choose to keep near you shows a lot about who you are, specifically what you look for in a friend. Therefore who your clique is, who you are!

  12. Brenda Nelson

    Having a kid… Not having a kid… What does it matter? It’s your body. you decide what to do. Ever notice that this is the only situation where such an argument is ever made? Could you imagine someone saying, “Y’know, I really don’t want to run a marathon”, and have someone reply “How can you not feel horrible, knowing you’re squandering a chance, that paraplegics might never have?” Some people have kids. Some people don’t. Some people are against abortion. Some aren’t. These arguments need to end. People shouldn’t need to post articles about it defending or explaining their views on that. Cause it’s their body. Their life. They’re free to do anything they want with it!

    • Marina Henderson

      You’re so right! I’ve got two kids, but if someone doesn’t want to have ANY, I’m totally cool with that and it’s completely understandable. It doesn’t make them selfish. I’d rather, personally, an individual who recognizes it’s not for them and that they have other priorities than have a kid they’ll either resent or have no time for.

  13. Colleen Frasier

    Simply amazing post by the Thought Catalog! Well, I would say that the people (your friends) define you who are. The people you choose to be around shows the type of person you are. 🙂

  14. Christina Cavanaugh

    Great article by Ryan Holiday. I also follow his blog. And I couldn’t agree more with him!!

    Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are. – Mexican Proverb 🙂

  15. Danielle Wilson

    Great finds!! And fun insightful reads. The Amy Schumer video is absolutely epic. She never lets her fans down. Gotta LOVE that woman! 🙂

  16. Ketty Ben

    I get that kids are an amazing gift and there’s nothing better than bringing life to this Earth. bla bla bla, but as it stands now I’m just not interested in having kids at all . I want to enjoy my life . Don’t get me wrong . kids are cute and fun to play with. But I think this is very huge responsibility.

  17. Cynthia Keller

    Thanks for this set. Definitely got a lot of different ideas that I never thought of like nos 1 & 3. I agree that the people around us matter. Research has shown that we’re more affected by our environment than we think. Loved the ending quote too! 🙂

  18. Jenny Permel

    Every women have dream that they would have kids. I could have lived happily without a child.But I know for sure that I’ll live HAPPIER with one. I’ll be a much. much happier person doing everything in my power to make my kid’s life as perfect as I possibly can.

  19. Lulia Jan

    I love to spend my time with Books. I think that reading makes me feel great it helps me to discover more about my self and about the world. It makes you live a bunch of experiences and it makes you more involved in real life, sometimes it seems you forget all your worries and all your concern. I love reading I enjoy it.

  20. Christina Brown

    I find these articles interesting. “Should I have Kids” has shed some light on the matter for me definitely and I intend to use this in the future. This is exactly what we needed to read. Looking forward to learning more from reading your site. I appreciate this list very much! Thanks for sharing.

  21. Pasty Clin

    Interesting series! I especially like article “Should I have Kids” . I wish I would have kids. Kids are very adorable and full of life . Your life is complete with your kids

  22. Monika Smith

    I want to spend my most of the time with my friends . I enjoy every moment with my friends. Time is fly with friends. Your friends make you feel good about your self and refreshing

  23. Laura Strother

    Really honest approach to one of life’s most difficult questions. I haven’t realized it till I read this. I always assumed I would have kids. I do love them. I knew that someday I would have some of my own and see them grow. But honestly, as I got a bit older I realized that I was in love of the concept of having kids more than actually wanting to have them.

  24. Issabell Symon

    Great ! series of articles. I like all articles . I am blessed with two kids and being a mother my life is very amazed .I think every women is incomplete without kids. It is a very special feeling when you listen mom by your children mouth.

  25. Doris Tate

    Many women are certain they want kids someday. A smaller number are positive they don’t. I always assumed I would have kids. I do love children. I knew that someday I would have some of my own.

  26. Naincy Winget

    Amazing collection ! I like the article “should I have Kids”. I am single and I don’t have kids . I love kids very much . They are sweet and adorable . I like to spend my time with children.

  27. Rosemary Robles

    Amy Schumer never ceases to amaze me. 😀

  28. I can see why most people want to have children. But it’s not for me. Each to their own, I guess.

  29. I am so recommending that article about friends that you spend the most time with. It’s the same as saying, birds of the same feather, flock together. You will definitely notice that you talk like them, use the same words as them, and even mirror their gestures.

  30. Those celebrity photos are seriously creepy

  31. Margaret

    Interesting collection of links, I especially liked Ryan Holiday’s article about the importance of who you surround yourself with and how it affects who you become and your life.

Join in the Conversation! Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *