Epic Discoveries: How Friends Shape You, etc.

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Should You Have Kids? + other Weekly Discoveries

How your friends shape you, questioning if you should have kids, epic endings, a funny gal and more…

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We are all part of a global community, and in that spirit we take each Friday to spread the love to others who’ve inspired us. In our Great Discoveries series, we feature the most interesting articles, a must-watch video and the most inspirational quote we discovered this week. Please spread the love and enjoy your day!

Should You Have Kids? + other Weekly Discoveries

Tell Me Who You Spend Time With, And I Will Tell You Who You Are

Who do you spend time with? How do they make you who you are? [via Thought Catalog]

Should You Have Kids? + other Weekly Discoveries

Your Project Deserves a Good Death

Here’s the secret: endings are actually kind of awesome. [via Medium]

Amy Schumer’s Hilarious Acceptance Speech At The GLAMOUR Awards…  The funny gal had the whole room in hysterics.
Should You Have Kids? + other Weekly Discoveries

6 examples of subtle sexism that women still face at work

Women still face gender bias at work. It’s just harder to see. [via Business Insider]

 

Should You Have Kids? + other Weekly Discoveries

Should I Have Kids?

And why does everyone get to have an opinion, anyway? [via HelloGiggles]

‘We shall not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.’
-T. S. Eliot

Urbanette® is the thinking woman's lifestyle guide. Join tastemaker #HilaryRowland and discover the Urbanette® lifestyle: exciting, empowering and elegant.

Reader Discussion: 36 Comments

  1. Ingrid Winston

    Kids seem like an absolute nightmare. Don’t get me wrong, up until about the age of 6 they are cute but I really can’t see myself having them. I like doing my own, watching horror films and playing video games until 3am a weekend etc, I wouldn’t be able to do that if I was a mother.
    There’s also the inevitable grandkids. This women I work with has 2 grown up children of her own but on her days off she looks after her granddaughter, when her son got married she spent his wedding day looking after her grandkids.

    I really can’t really imagine doing that myself, spending 18 years raising kids and then helping with grandkids. Now that sounds selfish (but I like my free time)

  2. Charleen Washington

    I work for an emergency service, which is very male-dominated, as well as a uniformed-versus-non-uniformed staff divide.

    I’ve definitely been mistaken for the note-taker, but also just expected to take notes at meetings I am there to contribute to. One day I challenged it just by saying “are you asking me because I am the only non-uniformed person, or because I am the only woman?” That was the end of that.

    On a separate but funny note, my uncle just can’t understand women that aren’t nurses, teachers or secretaries. So he thinks I am a secretary and everytime I see him, it’s “How’s that secretarial job going?” I say “I actually head up a whole department. But it’s going fine, thanks”

  3. Sydney Nowak

    Has 0 kids = “You’re selfish”

    Has 1 kid = “You need to have another one, no one wants to grow up an only child.”

    Has 2 kids = “You have only boys/girls?” “Why not try one more time for a boy/girl?”

    Has 3 kids = “Now that your other children are older, wouldn’t it be nice to have another baby in the house?”

    Has 4 or more kids = “It’s a vagina, not a clown car.”

    There is no winning.

    • Andrea Mitchell

      Every human is selfish (which isn’t always a bad thing), but you’re right, there is no winning on this issue.

  4. Is it just me, or does it seem like most people on the internet really don’t want children? Not a judgment, just an observation.

    • Shannon Bradley

      I think people are more forthcoming about it online since they can control how/when they discuss it (and not deal with family and “friends” giving them crap), but I’m not sure that means a majority of internet users don’t want kids. I don’t know. I haven’t met majority of internet users.

  5. Celine Carter

    I’ve never wanted kids. Pretty much made up my mind when I was a kid in school, and realized I never wanted to deal with one of these as my own, per se. I get the “Aren’t you being selfish?” line a lot. I always respond with; “HELL YEAH I’M BEING SELFISH!” Why not? It’s my life. If I want to move somewhere else, I don’t want to be held back because of a child or family. I don’t want to even think about $$$$ and how much it costs to raise a child. hmm, let’s see. diapers or a night out. I’ll take the night out. Pass on the family name? I don’t give a fudge. I have nephews already anyways (not that that would matter to me about the family name). You’ll die alone and lonely. What?!? ever heard of, well, brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces, nephews, friends? geez, what kind of segregated and closed off family do people who force us to have kids and start a family, live with?

  6. Franny Pimms

    I have experienced all of things Business Insider mentioned and yes it is truly disheartening. I worked for everything that I have and I have a strong work ethic that keeps me driven. However, I have been passed over for promotions because I speak too “strongly” or am perceived as “too aggressive” or “too emotional” but when the same or similar behavior is displayed often by a male it is totally acceptable, professional, and rewarded. I thought that by the time my generation would hit the work force, some of these things would not exist. I have even been treated unfairly because of my age. There have been so many environments back a few years ago where I was the youngest person there and both women and men would treat me disparagingly because I was perceived as a threat because of my age. No one wanted a young person coming into their field telling them anything. Let alone a female.

    • Michelle Hewitt

      Yes, yes and yes! I have seen and been subjected to all of these sexists behaviors. I have to say it isn’t as bad as the 80’s, but it’s still very evident. If you say something about it, you are looked at aggressive, angry, pushy, having PMS, not able to take it, not emotional enough, too emotional… And ,t is worse for women of color. That’s why it’s so frustrating when I see any woman lording it over another woman. We have all been through it, we should all be sticking together on this.

      • Julia MacLean

        Yes, often race and gender are a factor, but the bottom line is power dynamics. I have seen women in higher status positions interrupt men in lower positions. In all cases, the person interrupted is supposed to stop speaking and listen, rather than hold their ground in the conversation and insist on respect.

  7. Monica Collins

    Great quote, amazing reading materials, and a funny video! You did amazing as always. Just wish that you’d post on the weekends too.

  8. Lana Urie

    I agree with Ryan. The type of friends you have reflect on the type of person you are… People are viewed to be what they are based on the kind of relationship they have with other people – friends, family or neighbors. Outsiders might judge you based on the kind of friends you have – if they see you with bad gangs, they assume you are also a bad guy. That’s what I think at least.

  9. Nancy Musselman

    Incredible round up. The Business Insider is soooo on point again! However, sexism doesn’t only come from men to women. Sadly, I have seen female managers apply these same techniques when delivering a performance review to other strong women. There are complaints from male counterparts that the tone is inappropriate when dealing with someone (female). And the female managers, whether they are turning a blind eye or just not wanting to rock the boat, deliver the message without asking for any clarifying information from their subordinate. It’s very sad to see this.

  10. Monica Conover

    Subtle sexism indeed is a thing we modern day women unfortunately are facing at work. But that doesn’t mean we should go along with it or ignore it. As our consciousness rises — awareness grows — of these subtle acts of sexism and racism will appear less subtle and will be recognized for their true hostile nature and, hopefully, will no longer be tolerated as somehow socially-acceptable.

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