But Wait! What's Wrong with Being Single by Choice?? - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog


But Wait! What’s Wrong with Being Single by Choice??


When I decided I wanted to stay out of the dating world for a while, I was met with a variety of reactions. From “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone,” to “Sure, you want to be single now, but wouldn’t it be great if you met the right guy?”, it was clear that few people supported the decision.

I chose to stay single because I was so extraordinarily happy with the people and work in my life and didn’t want to rearrange any of it to make room for a significant other. But as soon as I dropped dating from my priorities list, a lot of people seemed determined to put it back. The advocacies for online dating, the offers to set me up, and the insistences that I’d change my mind, if only I found the right guy, were endless.

But Wait! What’s Wrong with Being Single by Choice??

My feminist side was miffed. Here I was, young and unbearably happy and surrounded by people trying to convince me that my life was imperfect because it didn’t include a guy. Even though we say we’re past the idea that a woman needs a man to be complete, in practice it seems we’re not.

What kind of message are we sending when we encourage our girlfriends to find a man, even when she’s professed a desire to remain single for a while? Romance is wonderful, but it’s hardly the only thing worth living for. If a woman chooses to focus on her career, her friends, or something as simple as having the entire mattress to herself, why can’t we support that?

Despite the progress feminism has made, it seems we still see an unmarried woman as a failure. I have known so many successful, happy single women who are pitied and looked down upon –as if something is fundamentally wrong with them because they aren’t married– a phenomenon much rarer for single men.

But Wait! What’s Wrong with Being Single by Choice??

It’s important to learn how to create happiness from within, rather than looking to the external world for personal fulfillment. Everyone should to take some time alone to understand the difference between alone and lonely. To enjoy time with friends, and develop individuality and independence. We should encourage young women to enjoy singledom as a time of personal and professional growth and realization. Instead, we share dating advice.

Despite all this, the benefits of single life are starting to gain popularity. More people live alone now than ever before. 15 million people in the US between the ages of 35 and 64 choose to remain single. They’ve escaped the pressure to commit to a relationship and opted to enjoy single life instead. This often gives them more opportunities to be social, and to build their career, than married life would. So why can’t we encourage that choice—or at least respect it?

But Wait! What’s Wrong with Being Single by Choice??

It all ties back to the traditional family values we cling to. For those who do choose to date, more expectations aren’t far behind: When are you going to get married? Are you going to have kids? How are you going to raise them? From the dolls we played house with, to politicians who give commencement speeches telling us to get married and have kids, we’ve been schooled on what we should want. Apparently, we should want to see women married and raising 2.5 kids behind white picket fences. But in this time of change and reevaluation of marriage, can’t we allow people to dispense with these notions all together?

Women exist outside marriage and motherhood, a concept that we all should’ve internalized a long time ago. Instead of shoving girls into relationships, we should encourage each other to take time for ourselves. Enjoy singledom while you have it. That’s not to say we should all give up on love and marriage; both are beautiful, valuable things. But being single is as well, and it’s time we acknowledged that.

Have you ever chosen to remain single for a while? Share your singledom stories in the comments!

Born in France but raised all over the place, Auriane has wanted to write ever since she was old enough to spell her name. In her spare time she loves reading, hanging out with her best friends (even when they're not in the same time zone), and spontaneous singing with her Broadway-bound roommate.


  1. Ani

    This was very useful and relatable for me . I’ve always been thinking what was wrong with a single woman(by choice) and every time I understand nothing😅
    Enjoyed the article so much 👌🏻👌🏻

  2. Atiya

    Thanku fr this ..it is exactly what i needed to read <3

  3. James T

    Well i will admit that there is nothing wrong with being single by choice. But then there are a lot of us men out there that really wanted to be in a relationship had we really met the RIGHT GOOD WOMAN from the very beginning which unfortunately we never did. But at one time that i was married which i was a very good husband to my ex wife since i was very committed, loving, caring, and had respect for her which it still wasn’t good enough for her. She cheated on me since she turned out to be a real low life pathetic loser that i never knew which really devastated me altogether thinking at that time that i really did meet the right good woman which unfortunately wasn’t the case for me. And i always did wanted children as well which now for me being a single good man again Isn’t fun at all especially when all your friends are settled down with their own life since they were VERY EXTREMELY BLESSED to have found their loved ones. And i do have one friend that i know that Isn’t married either which he really feels as bad as i do and rather be in a relationship as well. Now going out all over again is the hardest part of all especially now that i am a lot older looking for a GOOD WOMAN this time for me since the women of today are so very selfish, greedy, spoiled, and very money hungry since they will only want the very best of all and will never settle for less either. Most of the women today are nothing at all like most of the women were in the past that were very much the very complete opposite compared to the women of today. There are many of us very good men that would really want to get married again which i am sure many others will agree with me as well.

    • Ani

      Well I get your poin. And there are so many nice and beautiful girls who want a relationship as well as marriage and children. Since the society wants it from women. I’m sure you’ll find a loving and committed woman who will just be perfect for you. And also don’t worry about your age that’s not a big deal. Good luck 🙂

  4. The Honest Truth

    Well i am Not Single by choice for a good man like me that really had hoped that i was going to meet the Right Good Woman for me to settle down with to have a family which it still unfortunately hasn’t happened yet for me since i will very much admit that i really Hate to still be Single And Alone today when i really Should’ve Never been at all in the first place. It is a very bad time for many of us men that were really hoping for a love life since we really have No Reason at all to ever Blame ourselves to begin with since the times today have really Changed since the old days when real true love came very easy back then which really made it happen as well. And online dating is a real big joke today trying to find love which in the old days there were much easier methods finding love the way that our family members had it since they were very blessed in those days. And since the women of today are very much different which makes it very difficult for many of us good men really looking for a good relationship since most women nowadays just can’t commit to just only one man anymore and are sleeping around with all different kinds of men all the time which certainly adds to the problem for many of us men that would just want only One Good Woman to be with all the time to make us really very happy. So it is really the women of today that have really caused this mess in the first place unfortunately. And it is very sad for many of us men that just keep meeting the Wrong Type Of Women all the time as well.

  5. Not Single By Choice

    Well for many of us good men out there that are certainly not single by choice, we can really blame the women of today for that one.

  6. Just Some Girl

    I’ve been single by choice pretty much my whole life. Im not going to disclose my age but I am an adult. I’ve been asked out before and most recently by someone who I was really captivated by and attracted to and i said no. I will admit it did hurt (and perhaps him too).

    Im not confident enough entirely with myself especially physically to try to be in a relationship. So i have convinced myself that I can be single and happy (not much convincing necessary though) ill admit its a bit hard at times because i am not asexual those feelings do emmerge but i learn to contain them. That being said Im happy to venture out by myself, eat alone etc. and I feel like i am much happier this way even though i dont truly know what i am missing out on.

    • Angel

      Your comment… I really resonated with it. I grew up chasing boys. They never wanted me. It wasn’t until now, being 31 that I realize that I am much more comfortable being single. Somehow, I’ve come to realize that whenever I think of being in a relationship, I feel completely inadequate and get very anxious, which doesn’t happen when I think of being single. I have never been in a relationship, not by choice though, so I don’t know exactly what I may be missing out on, but most of my female friends are partnered and to be honest, most of those relationships seem… Meh, to me. I don’t know. I think for me to fall in love, a very special sort of man has to come my way, and I just don’t see that happening. It’s not that I think there aren’t good men out there. There certainly are: my dad, my male friends, all wonderful men I love. It’s just… I don’t think there’s a fit for me. I realize that being single is not as awful as some people think it is and I’m discovering how much fun it is to cherish my friends and my family and myself as an individual and a woman working her way to a better life on her own. I’m not entirely closed off to ever being partnered, but I don’t see that happening…

  7. The Truth

    I’m a good man. I was the faithful one in both marriages. My wives both happened to be losers since they were the ones that cheated on me. Now, I’m currently in a good relationship with a very nice woman.But I will certainly not get married again. It would be very scary for me to do it for a third time all over again. And she very much agrees with me as well.

  8. Tim

    But what happens if you are Not single by choice?

  9. Ben

    What about many of us Good men out there that are Not Single by choice?

  10. Paul

    The real reason why many of us Good men are Single today is that so many women have Unfortunately Changed since the Good old days when the Good old fashioned women were around that Definitely Would Have made it very Easy back then had we been born at a much Earlier Time. I will admit that i always had hope that i was going to find a Good Godly woman to settle down with to have a family since it does take two to tangle since many of us men are Not Single by choice.

  11. I am married, cause I did find the right guy. For a while tho, i could not and did not have the time for dating. I love seeing all the comments here of ladies that are happily single.

    Romance, in the world’s understanding/view, is so fake. That’s definitely not the reason to date. Media/tv/movies should show more everyday romance with husbands doing dishes than cheesy romantic scenarios and pickup lines.

    And last anyone should do is to marry or find someone hoping to fix insecurities. Loneliness and insecurities do not go away just cause you are married.

  12. Wonderful article and I completely agree.
    I feel like there are a lot of people out there who believe that being in a romantic relationship is one of the most important aspects of life. We have constructed this society that revolves around romantic relationships. I think that we should be giving more important to our friendships, because friends stay forever and boyfriends come and go.

    • Reality Check

      Then again who would want to Grow old all Alone? Not me. Cancer kills very Quick which Loneliness can be a Very Slow And Painful Death.

  13. Dana Rosatti

    Being in love is such an amazing feeling, but I just can’t do that kind of longterm commitment. I genuinely enjoy being single. Every time a relationship ends with someone, part of me thinks “Ahh ~ what a relief… I can breathe again” no matter how infatuated with them I was. It’s fun in the beginning but after around a year with someone I just feel so suffocated and want to do so many things by myself.

  14. Lucretia Asher

    For me there is nothing wrong with been single, not saying I don’t enjoy the companionship and closeness a relationship brings because I do. For me it’s not a need or even a want most of the time, however I am not one to jump into a relationship just for the sake of it, to meet the status quo as a lot of my friends do because been in a relationship is the norm for them, they feel empty when not in a relationship and jump from one to another. I guess for a lot of people relationships are also a status symbol and the loss of them can be a loss of status as well.

  15. Debbie Jones

    I like being independent. I think it tells you something about a person’s character if they’re ok being alone. I don’t like being with a person that could possibly bring me down. To anybody who can’t accept someone else for being different than them, I’d say fudge ’em! At least I’m happy being who I am, and not pretending to be something I am not. Remember, you are your own person. You control your own destiny. Live your own life and be happy! 🙂

  16. Nothing is wrong with being single. There´s only something wrong with all those people who think that the only way how to live your life is their way, and if you don´t fit “everyone needs to be in a relationship” stereothype then you´re either a poor loser or a sick human being. Or both.

  17. Samantha Anthony

    Certainly don’t think there’s anything wrong with being single as long as you’re happy.

    I know my family worries about me being single as they don’t want me to be lonely. I get that, but I’m struggling to convince them that I’m not lonely! I’ve got friends who are in happy relationships and want me to find someone because they want the same for me which is nice.

    I’ve got single friends who aren’t happy being single, and those who are. And then there are people who look at me like I’m from another planet and assume there must be something wrong with me!

    Certainly it’s nice to have someone to share things with and for many people, that’s a partner, but I don’t think that’s always the case. As you get older, many people have paired off and/or had children and life becomes more difficult, and I think that’s why it’s always important to be open to new friendships as there’s usually someone out there in a similar position to you!

    You know how you hear of people making agreements with friends along the lines of “if we’re still single when we’re 40, lets get married!”?… I’ve got an agreement with a couple of friends that when we’re older, we’re going to move into an old folks’ home together and raise hell! 😀

  18. There is nothing wrong with being single in my eyes. But then, I do like my personal space! I have occasionally had the ‘Never mind, The One will come along one day ;)’ and ‘Don’t worry, you’re very pretty. The boys will find out what they’re missing soon enough’ and even ‘The boys will be lining up to take you out one day!’. I pretty much pay no attention to these wild declerations, especially as these sort of things come off the back of me saying ‘I don’t have a boyfriend…’ and not having a chance to continue with ‘…And I’m not interested in one like that anyway’.

    Some people don’t like being single, and that’s fine as well. It’s all fine!

  19. Olivia Peterson

    There are different standards for men and women, and I find this quite annoying. Men get a high five for being single and sleeping around, but when a woman does it, she gets labelled every bad name under the sun and she needs a man to settle her down. When I tell people I’m single, I too get the ”awww don’t worry, the right one will come along”, and from the nastier people ”why? can’t you get a boyfriend?” as if there’s something wrong with being single.

    I don’t really understand relationships and peoples need for them. I can’t understand why some people have to be in one all the time, and why couples fight and break up constantly. The world is obsessed with sex and relationships, if you’ve no interest in either, there must be something wrong with you, and you must be pitied and people must fix you up because they assume you are desperately unhappy without ”another half”.

  20. Danielle Wilson

    The world is obsessed with romance and sex. After escaping a terrible scenario with someone who seemed to just want sex(we never did it though, or even kiss) and was in love with the IDEA of being with me, I’ve decided to do a one-person protest against it. I’m 18, and I don’t need to be with anyone! Especially someone so sexually driven! My entire life I’ve been against gender stereotypes! And this is one of them! Females “needing” a man! BAH! I’m going into the construction field and staying single for a looooooong time, if not forever!

  21. Kaitlyn Barrett

    I was thinking of this the other day, as so many wretched people keep trying to wreck my life and “fix me up.” I came to think that a good come back would be, “You’re not trying to fix me up to make me happy, you’re trying to fix me up to make you happy. Because you feel threatened by single women who are self-sufficient.”

  22. Julia MacLean

    I can definitely relate to your feelings, being single myself, I always meet people who act like being single is such a taboo. I think people think that the only way to be complete and happy is to be in a relationship, so if you are single you must be incomplete and unhappy. It feels like generally, most people are unhappy when they’re not in a relationship so they suspect everyone feels the same way. There is nothing wrong with being single, though, and I think most importantly people have to be happy and fufilled by themselves before they get a partner. A partner isn’t the missing piece in life’s puzzle.

  23. Lana Urie

    I’m happy I found this! My sister is 21 and has been single her whole life. Not one boyfriend. And after high school she became totally OK with it. She’s now got a great career, working towards getting out of her comfort zone more and starting yoga. She’s happy with her life. I will share this article with her.

  24. Hello! Thank you heaps for this article, I recently got out of a bad relationship. In result of that I’m very career driven and I’m off to chase my wildest dreams and be the successful young woman I aim to be ??

    And who can say that what I’m doing is wrong?

  25. Amelia Beckons

    Thank you for this article, it has put things into perspective. I was in a long term relationship for most of my uni life and I’m trying to find myself again. I’m now going to focus on my post grad and be the best teacher I can be and hopefully everything else will follow pursuit. I don’t have time for a relationship as much as I’d love to be in one.

  26. Sonja Fallow

    I really enjoyed reading this article, I have been single for nearly 4 months after a 3 year relationship that went sour, at 23 I think it’s time for me to be selfish and work on my career and travel not worrying about “his” career and “him” working around the country 🙂 this is inspirational !!

  27. I love this article I just turned 26 and while at the beach realized I was the only single one and felt a bit lonely. This is a good reminder why and that its ok. I was in a very long toxic abusive relationship from age 15-24 and due to all the controlling going on I lost who I was. I still am figuring out what I like to do, see, say, what team I like Ect. I think as you put it I need to get to know and love myself before I can ask anyone else to do the same. I too hope to be in a healthy relationship down the line, but not anytime soon. There is still a lot I got to work out. Thanks for this great article.

  28. Christina Norelli

    Up to 30s I do not recommend getting married and starting a serious relationship at all. I see everybody around me who got married and all those kids… I do not know what to say. Okey feeling secure, having a family is nice but there is a huge world out there. If I were married at my 20s I am sure that I would have regretted that I did so.

  29. Emily Sauer

    It’s working out well for me; I’ve been single and not seeking relationships for the past few years and I have no plans on changing it.

  30. Tiffany Norris

    Being in a relationship is too much of a stress and I enjoy doing things alone. I think that relationships are good for people who find true love, but not for me. I’m single at the moment but open to seeing how things go at least. I feel happier and I’ve actually got plenty of free time outside work. Thanks for helping me re-adjust my sails!

  31. Heather Strobel

    Just came across this simple and yet powerful message. There is no shame in being single. I am absolutely happy being a single person. I have a loving family, some great friends and I enjoy my alone time. Often I go out to eat alone and to watch movies alone. Actually, I am much happier not being in a relationship.

  32. Ayla Pennington

    Being single I too realized the stigma attached to it, as if there is something wrong with you and in order for you to feel complete, you must first have a significant other.

    However, I agree that that happiness should come from you and you shouldn’t have to change to meet other people’s expectations for fear of being a social outcast.

    I feel the right one’s out there somewhere but the scary thing is that if he’s even there at all…

  33. Grace Stirling

    Single life is the BEST! I can take my sweet time and not have to worry about anybody else! 😀

  34. Helen Dark

    I’m single and loving it! 🙂


  35. Rosemary Robles

    This truth radiated from your deepest being and connected to the same place in all of us. I tend to see the bright side of being single. i definitely feel much more free to be myself. The most best thing about being single is that you have a lot more privacy. This was an amazing post to read today.

  36. Kimberly Vigil

    Some people are in serious relationships or made to be married, but others are not. There is no shame in being single.

  37. Ashley Moore

    I actually very much agree with this! This is the exact conversation that I’ve been having with my mom. It’s very important to be happily single until the right person comes along, not about selfishness. Single is not a bad word. Sometimes life can be confusing, but it’s so nice to read words that cut right through to the soul and address the truth.

  38. Courtney Floxen

    I was startled by your blog post as well as excited by the thoughts you shared. A lot of people around me said that “loneliness is like a disease which hurts more than anything”. For me, being single doesn’t have to mean being lonely. I have a feeling I’m going to come back and reread this a few times. Thank you for spreading this message.

  39. Cynthia Keller

    What you said was beautiful and really resonates with me. I am 29 and single, being a person myself who has been single for most of my life and had few relationships. I find myself much happier being single. I am glad to see that I am not alone on this journey. I too enjoy the benefits of being single and have no interest in settling down.

  40. Lena Dzeko

    Really enjoyed this article. Having had bad experiences with my previous relationships I called off dating for a long while and now I feel like I’m so far behind that it’s next to impossible to catch up.

    • I think that the most important thing to remember in dating is to be your authentic self. So, in keeping with that, there’s nothing to know or get behind in… just be yourself!

  41. Elin Hanks

    The pressure from society can sometimes be overwhelming. Especially if you live in a culture where social norms are very strong, inflexible and it’s hard to be different. But long term it truly pays off to be you and follow your own path, no matter how different it is from the usual one. 🙂

  42. We are much better off (when we are single as well as in relationships) if we learn to be happy on our own and not expect from others to make our lives fulfilled. It’s also perfectly OK to feel good about being single and just enjoy it! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!

  43. Monica CONOVER

    Being single – i have never done more, seen more, learnt more skills, talked to more people in the last 4 years Ive been on my own. Having a partner does cramp your style some times and can effectively disable you for all sorts of reasons. Just now and then loneliness pokes its head up and I get exasperated by the apoarent lack of suitable partners. But i keep bouncing back and remember that im willing to bet a lot of coupled people envy me. You cant delegate your happiness to someone else. You goyta find it in yourself.
    Hugs for you all the singletons. XO

    • SUCH a good point! If you’re lonely, it’s best to find ways to deal with it while you’re alone. Bad relationships happen when people seek to fill the “lonely” void.

  44. Andrea Mitchell

    I’m in my mid 30’s and unmarried. I have had the constant questions and really silly comments such as dont you want to get married? When are you going to get married? You must keep in mind you’re not getting any younger. I attended a friends birthday party and a former work colleague literally yelled at me to get married and have children as I dont want to be alone when I am older. I decided to stay away from certain people now. They may care but they ALL lack common sense they are not telling or asking me anything I have not thought about myself.

    • Emily Wentz

      You are right to ignore and avoid people who make judgments and try to tell you how to live your life. Unfortunately it’s not always easy – but you can minimise contact and avoid getting into conversations about the topic with people who don’t know you, and basically don’t care either. Starting a family to avoid being alone in your old age is a very old, very worn out and very untrue reasoning. There’s no guarantee you won’t be alone if you have kids – you might just not get along well with them, and there’s always a way to find company elsewhere at any age. Most people who want to tell you how to live your life don’t know how to live theirs either. Those who tell you you should get married do it because they think it’s the right thing to do, not because it’s the right thing for you, or anyone in particular. We are all capable of being happy and finding love in fulfilling relationships even if we don’t have a partner, and partner is no guarantee we will be happy.

      • Andrea Mitchell

        Thanks!!! That IS true. Of course I want to get married but its not like I can just pluck anyone off the street. I am much better now I have avoided certain people and when I see they coming my way say a quick hello and go on my way.

      • “There’s no guarantee you won’t be alone if you have kids – you might just not get along well with them, and there’s always a way to find company elsewhere at any age.” –> Excellent points!!

  45. Delilah Peyton

    I am single and happy with it. I feel irritated when someone wants to know why I am still single and not getting married. They keep asking the same thing again and again in one way or the other. Moreover, they feel that I am not comfortable in discussing this matter. To make things even worse, sometimes these people claim to be my “well-wishers”, whatever that means. Also I found it even more irritating when someone asks or I should say “interrogate” my parents about the issue. I wonder why they are so interested in something that my mother is not interested in?

  46. Anna Kaplan

    Love this article. So many good points. It can be really annoying when our life choices are not so mainstream – everyone wants to teach us and get us on the “right” path. But just ignore them, and try not to get upset – everyone has their own opinions about what is best in life, and mostly those people who want you to get married, have children, do this and that – are the ones least happy with their own lives. People who are happy will never tell you how you should live, because they know it’s different for everyone. Take care.

  47. Helena Stevens

    WhatI just feel like if people are judging you for not being in a relationship or married envy your freedom. Let’s face it marriage and commitment is hard work. And it’s not all what it’s crack up to be. A lot of married folk stay married knowing they’re miserable. But they stay because divorce is frown upon, and cost too much to get or they stay because of the kids. I want to get married one day but I’m not rushing because it’s a lot. I feel like take your time, really rushing or trying to meet society standards is silly. nd being single is not lonely, you can still date many people, and do what you want. Society needs to chillax.

  48. Sibel Jenkinson

    The grass is always greener on the other side! People in relationships envy singles, singles envy couples. The bottom line is if you’re not happy in your own skin, another person or a relationship will not make you happy either. You’ll always find a reason to be unhappy and will always be disappointed by your life. Thanks for chipping in this wonderful article.

  49. Thank you for a good article, I have been combating this for a while. Im a 32 year old single woman and as tough as it is, it has it’s perks, although Im not going to lie it sucks sometimes.

  50. Jennifer McSween

    The truth of the matter is every human being has value and deserves to enjoy life, liberty and the pursuite of happiness. It’s even written into the Constitution. The rest is just preference and opinion.

    If a person has a very strong desire to find a partner, they will probably find one. If they feel they must find one in order to be happy because every one else does – well – I don’t suppose that is actually a reason to go off your rocker about it. Each person is individual. Some people have very strong connections with their friends and other relations. And some are married and have miserable “unions”.

    We’re all grown ups. Each person can decide for themselves what makes them happy. Everyone may dance to their own drummer as it makes them happy.

  51. Molly Twain

    Despite what the majority believes single is not lonely, it’s in fact liberating. I’ve always considered myself a positive single. 🙂

  52. Roberta Bennett

    I knew it wasn’t just me who was getting the pity speak and nonsense from people. Give me a great friend to share with and a great vibrator at home over an obligated relationship ANY day! ?????

  53. Another great work by Auriane Desombre! I couldn’t happier about being single. For all the people that say “at least I’m not single” there are others that wish they were. 😉

  54. Diana Hewitt

    I just broke up with my partner of 5 years this spring BY CHOICE and though I’m playing the field, I am thoroughly enjoying my freedom. Why is this a bad thing!? Guess what?! IT’S NOT!! lol Thanks so much for this awesome post! ❤️

  55. Felicia Stewart

    Thanks for this article! Our lives rarely unfold like the Hollywood love stories say they should, and even those that do get married find out that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows and happy endings. It’s great to be able to find beauty in every path and lessons along every road.

  56. Evelyn Sandler

    I lived the married life for a while. – even got two amazing kids out of the deal. In all reality – this place I find myself in today – single and digging every minute of it comes as a total surprise to me. A wonderful, welcome, invigorating, freeing surprise…..I wouldn’t change a thing….great work, Auriane.

  57. Kim Hartford

    Being single is FUN!!! You’re literally free to do whatever makes you happy without having to take anyone else’s feelings and/or opinions into account. No disagreements, conflicts, compromises, explanations, accommodations, limitations, restrictions, etc. allowing you to focus your energy on making life better for yourself.

  58. I have been feeling the same way as you for a long time. I am forming a group on Facebook and Twitter called What on Earth is wrong with being Single? What I resent more is other people thinking that I am somewhat abnormal for having made a conscious decision to be single. ??

  59. Hazel Collins

    Brilliant perspective. This is exactly what I have been dealing with myself. I agree! It’s more of a personal preference and there’s no specific age when someone decided to be single. My decisions were based on the current moment. I’m not the person I were yesterday, and I based my decision to remain single on the state of my mind today.

  60. Loving this!!! Absolutely true, and exciting, especially right now. As much as I love being with someone special, I’d rather be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong ones. Nothing wrong with being single. Embrace your situation, no matter what, I say. 🙂

  61. Christina Brown

    First thing I read upon waking this morning. Thank you for this thought provoking insight. I love being single. I am 34 and will be turning 35 this year, I don’t want to get married and I don’t want kids, especially at my age. I rather have more pets anyway. 🙂

  62. Lela House

    I love this so much I want to swim in it. Thank you! I needed this message today. Single life is OK no doubt. There’s a lot of people who openly wondered why I haven’t at least any boyfriends, much less gotten married. I’d say to them “It’s better to be single than to be in a bad relationship and/or a bad love life”. That usually shut them up!

  63. Fern May

    This is beautiful, and I agree wholeheartedly with what you’re saying. I’ve known my whole life that I’m happier being single. I like my own company, and the company of animals. Thanks so much for pointing this out. This is a food for my soul. 🙂

  64. Sarah Evanston

    By far this is the BEST article I’ve come across on being single by choice 🙂 YES! Women exist outside of marriage and motherhood. I’m happier being single, but people often translate my choice into me being: lonely, selfish or hating marriage. *urgh*

    But I don’t really care what they think or say, they are entitled to their own opinion…

  65. For me, being single is one of the greatest experiences. Probably because I’m finding it difficult to believe that someone could take me and would “require” me to share my world with him. I can confidently say that I’m perfectly fine and contented with my life.

    I’m not really sure if this decision would be for lifetime but this is what I feel now…

  66. So far, I’m enjoying the benefits of being single! I love the fact that being single means I don’t need to consider anyone in all the things I want to do.

    But a lot of people would ask, are you not afraid of growing old alone?! Well, sometimes this question makes me stop and think…

  67. Mmmm… I guess single by choice can be fun and fulfilling. But I wonder if those women who are single by chance feel the same?!

  68. I love and happy being single. I am 48, don’t want kids, especially at my age. Don’t get me wrong, I experienced dating and having partners. But I guess no one matches my true desires. I just can’t fully express myself whenever I’m in a romantic relationship. And I realized it’s happier to be single. I have more time for myself, my friends and career. Now, I only have cats and I’m fulfilled.

  69. Yes! I have chosen to be single for a while and it’s a worthy experience. I realized that being alone (meaning not being in a relationship) DOES NOT equate to being lonely… I should know because I was happier and less-worried when I chose to be single 😉

    • Francis Woods

      I know right!!! Most people think that women who chose to stay out of romantic relationships are lonely!!! Well, I’m currently single but I’m happy and don’t feel lonely!

  70. Hannah Mayers

    It’s a cycle that never ends! Society will always try to fit you somewhere. If you are single, people will ask when are you going to get a date (or get married)? If you are married, people will wonder when will you have kids… *sigh*

    So why bother about what they think?! Most comments people say are clear reflections of their own insecurities…

  71. I chose to get married and have kids. I’m happy and contented with my married life. BUT don’t get me wrong, I respect all those who opted to be single. There’s NOTHING wrong with being single by choice! It’s perfectly fine! What’s important is knowing yourself, know what makes you happy and live with it 🙂

  72. “Romance is wonderful, but it’s hardly the only thing worth living for.” I feel you! I opted to take a break from the dating world and focus on my career. And everyday, I’m waking up without regrets 🙂

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