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Thinking About Cheating? 12 Reasons Why You Should

You may not have considered these…

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To cheat or not to cheat?  Insert cliché: “That is the question!”  But is that really the question?  Now there’s another $64 thousand dollar question on the table – Is it bad to cheat even if I think my boyfriend won’t find out? Let’s find out…. just leave your ego at the door.

Thinking About Cheating? 12 Reasons Why You Should

It makes me feel good about myself – for a moment

Cheaters are usually insecure.  Insecurity is a common theme in all our lives, and to seek relief from those insecurities is desirable, even if just for a moment.

Temporarily masking these insecurities requires ego-boosting actions, and cheating is a temporary quick-fix to satiate feelings of inadequacy.  The cheater can gain satisfaction, like a temporary high, but risks feeling even worse after the act of cheating than they did before cheating.

They have bypassed dealing with the real issues and added a heap of guilt to the pile.  A vicious cycle spins now because, without dealing with the underlying issues, the cheater may then feel the need to keep cheating in order to continue gratifying those feelings of inadequacy.  Thus, cheating becomes a regularity, and the underlying personal insecurities have yet to be dealt with.

Personal inadequacies are legitimate, but must be resolved with self-confrontation.  What is the number one answer?  The survey says…get therapy!

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Born and raised in Texas, Shelly is currently studying to receive her Master's Degree in Publishing at the University of Houston - Victoria.  Shelly is a writer for Urbanette Magazine, and loves "everything it is and all that it offers our readers, and to me personally". She is passionate about life, family, friends, her maltipoo, Truman. She is a lover of all things culinary and the arts (13 year veteran of ballet).

133 Comments

  1. Selli Coaze

    Being in a relationship is a “daily choice” and everyday, I choose to be faithful with my partner.

    • Jonathan Freeman

      Hello, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 3 years now and she just suddenly stopped showing me love and care after I lost my job, so I hired ZEUSHACKERS01 at OUTLOOK dot COM to help me hack her facebook messages and cellphone and I caught her cheating on me.She denied it and I showed her proof including all her deleted messages. You can also reach them for hacking services. Tell them I referred you

  2. Hena Taylor

    Cheating can be avoided if open communication will be observed by partners.

  3. Jessi Agusta

    In my opinion, men cheat more often than women because of culture. If society condones infidelity as a value, we may no longer see cheating as a negative behavior.

  4. Lana Urie

    I have never cheated, but been cheated on before. It took me long to recover from it, and to regain my trust in men. I couldn’t get in to a new relationship for 3 years. Now I’m happily married to the nicest man I’ve ever known, and I hope that he won’t fail my trust.

  5. Roberta Bennett

    Cheating is the lowest form of betrayal.

  6. Gwen Keaton

    What bothers me the most is that people still get in relationships when they know they can’t stay faithful. Why do they that? Do they actually start relationships thinking they’ll be faithful during the relationship, or do they know that they’ll mess up and go on cheating as they wish?

    • Irene Morales

      I don’t think anybody would get in a relationship thinking of or planing to cheat.

  7. Leslie Williams

    Faithfulness is the key. 🙂

    • Jae Medina

      The key to an honest and happy life! I wish men could see that too.

  8. Loraine Aguilar

    Cheating is disgusting and very hurtful! Too bad these days loyalty is very hard to find, and almost everyone is capable of cheating. What a sad world we live in. 🙁

  9. Colleen Frasier

    Cheating shouldn’t be taken lightly. It can hurt everyone involved both physically and emotionally. There’s no way to make up for it.

  10. Marisa Goss

    Sexually transmitted disease is real. Not only could you catch it but you can also pass it to your partner!

  11. Patti Linkous

    I have cheated and been cheated on by the same person I cheated on… It’s so messed. I hope I never find myself in a situation like this again.

  12. Jennifer McSween

    Hmm. I’d like to see some comments from male readers. I wonder what they think.

    • Richard Moore

      Do you honestly think that the kind of men (like myself) who read Urbanette could be cheaters or be fond of cheating? Please!

  13. Nina Simmons

    Cheaters will cheat, what are you gonna do? It’s the women who keep forgiving their cheating men is what pisses me off the most. I don’t get those women. Where’s your self respect????

    • Ziri Digne

      I couldn’t agree more. That type of behaviour encourages men to cheat.

  14. Carolyn Lennox

    Everybody cheats for different reasons, while some reasons may be acceptable, I think it’s best to be honest and open about it, before you start doing it. End things with your partner first. so they dont get hurt because of your selfish thoughtless actions.

  15. Rose Aimee

    Life is too short to make big deals out of such trivial things as cheating, relationships, marriage, money etc. Everything in life is temporary. Live fast, die young, be wild, and be free! ✌️

    • Evangeline H. Lopez

      Hello, dear fellow free spirit!

      I completely agree with you, except for the die young part. 😀

  16. Ada Stevenson

    Why do people cheat? All the lying, all the sneaking, all the guilt… It’s nasty. It’s not worth it. I don’t know why people get themselves into this terrible thing!

    • Kendall R. Manuel

      I wish I knew. I guess people love to take good things for granted, and are too greedy that I want everything they can get their hands on. What a shame!

  17. Lin Del Rey

    For me cheating is a state of mind, not just an action. If you have someone else in mind while you’re with me, doesn’t matter whether you hooked up or not, you cheated! That’s how I see it.

  18. Sabrina Wellington

    I’ve been cheated on before. It turned my life upside down. I’ve never been able to trust men, ever since. Maybe I’m being overly sensitive but I even had to see a psychologist for a while.

  19. Cheating is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Once you lose your self respect life will never be easy on you again.

  20. Imogen Rachel Meyers

    A big round applause for this article. Simply genius! 😀

  21. Betty O'Leary

    What kinda mentality is that “if you cheat you’ll get sick”? Why would you catch STDs just because you cheated? There’s risk of catching STDs of course, but it doesn’t mean it’ll 100% happen. This isn’t the 80’s. It’s 2017, people are more aware, and they know how to use protection. Even hookers are mostly clean these days. Come on! Let’s drop these grandmother opinions behind!

    • Actually, there are a lot of STD’s that it’s just not possible to protect against, even if you use condoms, like Herpes for one…

  22. Karl Mercado

    The thing about STD hit me. I didn’t cheat because I don’t have a real gf, just flings. But I slept with a lot of girls. I had this side chick and she’s a mom, but the child isn’t mine. As much as I’m with other girls, so is she with other men. I’m now a little bit worried about my health!

  23. When cheating crosses your mind, I think it means you no longer love your partner. So why stay if the love is over? Don’t waste anybody’s time, including yours. Just break up. Go your own way. Then sleep with whoever you want. Save everybody from hurt and trouble.

  24. Jake Stevens

    Hey..It’s not only guys who have cheated!There are also a lot of woman who have cheated..Stop being so sexist about it..This topic is in general for both men and women..not only men!

  25. Carol Martin

    What’s point of cheating? To hurt someone, and make look like a fool? Does that make you happy? Then why don’t you go to the club, and hire a hooker to be with you?

  26. I am so loving this article! Shout out to all loyal people out there who have been cheated on! Hahaha

    • Bela Christo

      I am with you girl! Hahaha

  27. Cristina Joseff

    You’ll get sick and lose people’s trust, so why cheat, right?

  28. Samantha Lee

    We will experience that kind of situation in our lives. Maybe, we just accept the fact that nobody’s perfect, and we should listen to the both side of the story.

  29. Maria Bruce

    To all the couples out there, share this with your partners! You’ll never know if they might have cheated on you already. Something to knock their conscience on. Hahaha

  30. Ana Brose

    Make an article about HOW TO STAY LOYALTY next time. And then I’ll slap it in the face of my ex next time

  31. Jeni Morgan

    It is such a childish act to cheat just because your partner is busy. What in the word BUSY you can’t understand. It’s not like they left for a while or something.

  32. Mary

    It’s hard to find a person who wants a relationship, and now that you have one, you’ll cheat? What a loser.

  33. Leonel Cruz

    Don’t cheat on the person you’re with. You don’t know how much damage you put in them. It’s better to break up than to have a third party in the relationship. I saw how my ex girlfriend got devastated when she saw me with my other woman. The conscience still knocks me out until now. It’s been 6 months.

  34. Veola Sancho

    Have some decency in yourself and stay loyal with one person

  35. Steev Smith

    Well, we all know that one cheater that always cheats because he likes to do it. It’s like he could never live if he didn’t cheat. Karma will serve you, man!

  36. Michelle Lee

    Work on your insecurities first before you get into a relationship. It was your problem, not your partner. So don’t let them suffer.

  37. Angelica Walker

    What’s good in cheating? Does it make you more manly? I guess not, right?

  38. Joss Butler

    Even if I were given millions of money to cheat on my wife. I’ll never do it. I want to stick with one woman in my entire life and that’s her. I married her for a reason and I’ll keep that.

  39. Angelica

    What’s good in cheating? Does it make you more manly? I guess not, right?

    • Lea Huang

      Well, it makes their ego big. Saying that they can get any girl that they want 😒

  40. Kathryn Gibson

    Well, everyone experience cheating at least once in their life. Without it, it won’t help them mature and think thoroughly about their relationship. It sucks, but it helps!

  41. Bonfiglio

    Those cheaters can never escape their karma! I hope it hits them so well.

  42. Jossen Row

    Last year, I kinda “cheated” on my girlfriend. I had a crush on this girl and chatted her, but she didn’t respond when I asked her to be friends with me. My girlfriend figured that out. We talked and after seeing her crying and in pain. My heart broke. I did my best to win her trust again. She forgives me, and from that day on, I promised myself that I’ll never do that again.

    • Sherlie Wilson

      Hope there are more guys like you! I like what you did. You showed what a real man should do when fixing that kind of situation, winning the girl back and showing effort. Good thing she forgave you!

  43. Arlene Davis

    I can’t think of how a person can feel good as they cheat while their partner is at peace knowing that they are faithful to them!

  44. Crissy David

    People who cheat should be erased in this earth! Not only they waste time of people, they also break hearts.

  45. Andrea Jones

    I think it’s better to leave the person that to cheat because cheating makes a deep pain to a person. Spare the person in that kind of pain and just leave.

  46. Carmen Griffin

    Cheating because they cheated on you is never good. Two mistakes don’t make right. Remember that!

  47. Andrea Mitchell

    Guys… Please! Not all the people who cheat are doing something wrong or are assholes! Have you heard of “polyamory”? It’s when a person feels affection, love, lust for more than one people at once. It’s not a crime. There’s no wrong in that. It’s as natural as “monogamy”. Some people are born gay. Some people are born straight. In this case some are born polyamorous, some are born monogamous. It’s a very natural human thing! Look it up before you go all “Let’s stone the cheaters!” Yeah, maybe the wrong in this is when polyamorous people get in relationships with monogamous people. That’s the only mistake. But there is nothing wrong with loving multiple people at once. Feelings happen! It’s nobody’s place to judge. Especially those who never heard of polyamory before, need to keep their cake hole zipped!

    • Gerry Carlton

      I agree! I have a genderfluid polyamorous friend, so I know what you’re saying! They made a comment on monogamy the other day, and it made me think… They said that fucking the same person everyday is like eating the same food everyday…

      • Andrea Mitchell

        That’s a cool and simple way of explaining it!

  48. Zoraida Martin

    4 years ago, my ex and I have been together for months. He was so good at keeping secrets, he even gave me his FB password, I haven’t been aware that he’s a two-timer. He had a spare FB account, and the girl that he told me was his friend was actually his other girl! He broke up with me telling that he needs some time and space. After 3 days, I discovered about his cheating! I fixed myself because that monkey doesn’t deserve my tears. A year after, I met my current bf, and now my ex is tryna win me back.

  49. Della Martin

    Whatever you do, cheating is always been cheating. Don’t make yourself better by blaming your partner’s shortcomings. It’s you who chose to cheat.

  50. Olivia Clark

    If I fiIf my boyfriend cheated on me, I’ll slice his head.. HAHAHA! The other head, you know.

  51. Rosalia Russell

    I knew this guy and he was never loyal to any of his girlfriends! He always had a side chick which he always shows off to his friends to make him “the great one”. But after he broke my friend’s heart. I went to him and right in front of his friends and his hoe, I kicked him in the crotch! There’s no space for cheaters in my life

  52. Don’t cheat just because famous artists or whatever did it! It doesn’t make your life better.

  53. Cheryl Sperling

    It’s better to leave the person and improve yourself than to cheat to make yourself feel better.

    • Elizabeth Gonzalez

      Me too! I don’t want the stress. The right one will come anyway. At least I’m all ready when he came

  54. Karen Abeyta

    If you have your insecurities, talk to your partner about it. That’s why they are there for you! It’s about fixing the problem, not making another one.

  55. Connie Schmidt

    I give my bf my 100% trust. If he broke it, it’s his problem, not mine.

  56. Anthony Geller

    For a relationship to work out, you both must be loyal to each other. If you’re a real man, don’t cheat. I am not saying this only to men, but to women as well.

  57. Cries Moris

    When my gf is busy, that’s the time I play my online games! It’s the only time I can get a little “freedom” and I don’t have time to cheat.

  58. Blanche Martina

    Loyalty should come after once they fell in love with someone. How can a one person say that they love them when they cheat?!

    • Esther Devine

      Sadly, not all people have realized that.

  59. Osana Smith

    I hope many people realize that what they’re doing is wrong after reading this. Take time to think about your partner’s feelings.

  60. Patricia Montague

    This is why I’d rather keep myself with my books than to talk to other guys while my bf is busy. I want to feel those butterflies-in-your-stomach situations from fiction guys that to actually feel them from other people. I love my guy and I don’t want to ever loose his trust.

    • Maxine Ford

      Let’s just read books, have movies, and sleep. Cheating might be so exhausting

  61. Florence Townsend

    You couldn’t be more right. I was in an unfaithful marriage for 3 years. Sadly I was the unfaithful one, and when the truth was found out, it was me who were the most damaged from because of my mistakes. I lost so many things including my dignity, self worth and a loving husband. Lesson learnt. I will never do it again.

  62. Sherry Manust

    Once in their life, people will cheat whether they are aware of it or not. Not all cheating incidents are intentional

    • Olive Williams

      Not really. But let’s just agree to disagree with this

    • Daisy Clarke

      That depends on what you consider as cheating. Some consider flirting as cheating, some consider sexual things as cheating.

  63. Ashley Cooper

    Seriously? Why would you cheat if you’re in a happy relationship? Ego? Cmon, cheating is not an option!

  64. Alicia

    I always believe that once a cheater, always a cheater. Because once they have done it, you know in yourself that they could do it again.

  65. Oh my god I was about to freak out thinking that you were encouraging people to cheat…Phewww…

  66. Agatha Underwood

    You are a genius for this! Imagine all the people clicking this with cheating in mind, and their disappointment when they find out they were click bated hahahaha

  67. Cassi Braun

    There’s a saying “Never say never”… So I don’t want to say I will never cheat, because it’s life, and the most unexpected things happen, but I will say I hope I never cheat and never get cheated on.

  68. Jessica Castillo

    Well, cheating certainly is a very wrong thing, but just because somebody cheated it doesn’t mean they’re bad people. People make bad choices all the time. It happens. Nobody’s perfect.

  69. Geraldine Chambers

    From what I see in movies and people around me, it’s only a temporary feel good thing, in the long run it’s the worst thing you can do to yourself.

  70. Kelly Gonzales

    Cheaters shouldn’t be treated right. They don’t deserve love! Cheater should be forever alone!

    • Don’t be such a rude they are humans too. They did that on purpose, chillax.

    • Aimee Krol

      Why so bitter and aggressive? Were you cheated on? Even if you were, there’s no need to spit out fire like that…

  71. Dawn Katz

    I don’t want our relationship to be ruined by someone. I will fight for my love, and I will never let him go. If you love him, you will fight for him no matter what.

  72. Kimberly Holder

    Why would you think to cheat in the first place? You know that cheating can ruin everything, and even if you just did it once, it will still be called cheating.

  73. Jeweli Prater

    Friends? Do you think I will believe that two opposite sex tends to be just friends and no sex at all? I’m not an idiot to believe that lie! Can a man resist not having sex with a woman while they are too close? No!

    • George Sumanta

      No! Why would you forgive them? They’re douchebag!

  74. Zerin Martin

    Then, are you happy for making someone a fool? While you’re having a good time with your hoe, she’s overthinking about your relationship, and how it will work. Think of it, are you happy with that?

  75. Martin Juyes

    If I caught my wife cheating on me, there’s only one thing I’ll do for sure. Kiss her, and ask her who’s better. If she chose the new guy, then I’ll let her go, but I doubt. Hehehe

    • Luthi Sanders

      Nice move! I will do it too when I caught my husband cheating on me. Yay!

  76. Joan Morales

    Haha! That’s what happened to my ex-boyfriend. He’s cheating on me, and I know that because I caught him once kissing with a high school kid. I was out with my cousin, and he insisted that I and my cousin is having an affair. Lol. He’s a total creep.

  77. Who doesn’t want to be loved, right? That’s what we all want, be loved, and loved in return. All I want is that being in a relationship that cheating is not an option if our ship is going down.

  78. Jessie Fernande

    I guess I let him explain his side, and dumped him. Lol No! I won’t forgive him!

    • Kseniya Tomlin

      I agree with you! I always tell my boyfriend that it was cheating!!!! I guess I let him explain his side, and dumped him. Lol No! I won’t forgive him!

  79. Lana Wiliam

    Don’t be in a relationship if you’re not ready to be a serious one. Sometimes, the reason why people cheat is that they are not in love with their partner. It’s not just about relationship failing, but the love that you feel towards your partner.

  80. Nataliya Smith

    Screw all cheaters. All I want is to smash their face while begging me to stop. Why don’t they just be single, and flirt every time they want? But the thing is, they’re getting involved in a serious relationship, then later on cheat!

  81. That’s part of every relationship. We get tempted by a person, but if love wins, you’ll never cheat. Try to think about your partner most of the time, and what will she feels if she knows you’re cheating. I’m sure you don’t want to hurt her.

  82. Robert Patel

    As a man, I discourage cheating. When it comes to a relationship, you have to trust your partner, and when they do trust you, never, ever ruin it. Trust is the base of the relationship, and if you break it, you can’t fix it the way it should be.

  83. Brittany West

    I wanted to be loved by someone who will never cheat on me. I’m tired of being left alone because someone is better than me. I did everything just to be loved, but in return, they’ll just leave me hanging up because I will never be as good as someone.

  84. Lisa Bryson

    Oh yeah. Is your reputation at stake? I guess not. Men don’t consider that as long as they are enjoying themselves. Grown up man would consider that, but boys? I don’t think so.

  85. Deanna Woods

    I told my boyfriend that if he’s not happy anymore, he can always leave. I don’t want him to pressure himself and cheat on me because I ask him to stay even though he’s not happy anymore. Sometimes, that’s the reason why men cheat. We pressure them with the promises they told us before, and because of their ego, they will just cheat, and stay with us.

  86. Ryan

    I was a cheater before, but I changed since I lost the girl I loved. Cheating can give you satisfaction at first but can ruin the relationship you have for a long time. Sometimes, it’s better to be happy with your relationship even though it has a downtime than to lose your one true love.

  87. Juli Woods

    We have different reasons why sometimes we tend to cheat. I tried cheating not because I’m a whore or what, but the relationship that I had is not working anymore.

    • Angelo Henderso

      Still, you cheat, and that’s unforgivable.

  88. Lusi Martin

    Some people cheat because of some reason. I know someone who cheated because she knows that their relationship is not working anymore. At first, I was mad at her knowing that she’s cheating on my friend, but when she explained everything to me, I understand her. Not all cheaters are intentional and bad, sometimes, you have to cheat to escape the unhealthy relationship.

  89. Paul Daiz

    I can see that a lot of comments here are specifying the man as cheaters. I just want to tell you that not all man are the same, and not all women are victims. I was once being cheated by a woman, but do I think that all woman are a cheater? No!

    • Honey Smith

      Stand up for men, dude! We support you!

  90. Eloise Ferris

    There’s a debate about the debate? Wow! Who would think that cheating is right? Of course, the cheaters! Only cheaters will defend that, and it’s nonsense.

  91. Genie Mackenzie

    What about you accidentally fall in love? You didn’t want to cheat at all, but because of the failing relationship, you get attached to another person?

  92. Artur Piterson

    Even though I’m a man, I can say that I never cheated on my partner. Aside from I don’t want to ruin the relationship that we have, I’m also afraid to get a disease like STD. We all know that there’s a lot of hooker in NYC, and we all know that having sex with them comes in a bonus STD. Lol

  93. April Henry

    Yes, This is for real. I remember my husband when he was cheating on me. He’s a total creep that time, and he was always nagging me that I’m the one who’s cheating, then later on someone told me that he’s screwing up with someone in his office!

  94. No, I disagree about being close to someone. What if the two opposite sex are just friends? Don’t just easily assume that there will be something going on between the two people in opposite sex.

  95. Anila William

    Oh crap. My boyfriend and I just woke a couple of days ago. He’s a douchebag because he cheated on me with my not-so-close-friend. I was a fool because I let him, I let them hurt me this much. I’m feeling blue because of the break-up, but I know that someday, I will meet someone better than him.

  96. Nancy Smith

    Is is really that bad? Well, what do you think? If your partner is cheating on you, do you think it’s bad? Cmon, COMMON SENSE! It is bad, and it will never be good! Stop defending that it is fine, and cheating is fine because IT WILL NEVER BE FINE!!!!!

  97. Quin Meri

    Nah. Don’t be such a douchebag like your ex. If you’ve been cheated before, it’s not the right thing to do. The sweetest revenge that you can do is let your ex-boyfriend sees you as a better person without him/her.

  98. Jenifer Jeni

    Damn those cheaters! I hate cheaters! Why would you cheat in the first place, huh? WHY!!!! Screw all the cheaters out there, and let there be no love for all of you, FOREVER!!!

  99. This article is on point. I, myself, think that cheating is a “sin” in relationships. And we all know that people who cheat have a problem about their self-confidence. Or that they are actually trying to prove something. But if you’re cheating because you’re not happy, then why even stay?

  100. Hannah Mayers

    Fantastic article! I was cheated on in college and ever since I’ve wondered why he did it. This really helps explain it. Bottom line: now I realize that it wasn’t really about me at all. It was 100% about him.

  101. Courtney Watson

    In my mind, there’s absolutely zero excuse for cheating. I have girlfriends who do it, and they think they’ll get away with it, but they almost never do. It always comes out and someone (usually both of them) get hurt — badly. Not worth it!

    • Francis Woods

      I totally agree! For the quick fun, you’re signing up for a LOT of stress and unhappiness later. Not worth it – at all!

  102. Cheating shouldn’t be tolerated or even encouraged. I’ve known some people who actually encourage their friends to cheat on their partners, just for fun, at times and sometimes to make them feel good if their partner isn’t paying attention, just like the Blame Game mentioned in this article.
    If you are not happy with your current relation, just step out of it instead of justifying your reasons to cheat. Why burden yourself with unnecessary guilt, when you can simply sort things out with your partner and discuss whatever issues there are between you two?
    May be you cheat because you don’t respect your partner anymore, but for God’s sake at least have some self respect.

    In short – Cheating, totally unacceptable.

  103. Oh yes! Cheating will just make things worse!

  104. Cheating is not the best way to handle problems in a relationship, it just leads to more anguish and conflict. I love the way you demonstrated the psychological and emotional reasons of cheating in your article, it's interesting to see how people cheat because of their own insecurities.

  105. Jen Garcia

    What do people get out of cheating?! Hmmmm… stress?! headaches?! 😉

    My personal belief is that, if you’re cheating, of course you don’t want to get caught (and even if you get caught) you’ll think of excuses, alibis and reasons which of course can cause headaches and most definitely, STRESS! And I know that just the thought of getting caught sometimes make you feel nervous and cause terrible sweat, I have seen a lot of people undergone this… 😉

    Most cheaters that I know thought that cheating is a “form of revenge” that can make them happy, fulfilled and contented. Hah! Very shallow and nonsense belief!

  106. Cheating is just not acceptable in any relationship. Although others may get a thrill, is it worth your relationship? I think sharing a bond with someone is a very special thing and shouldn't be broken. Thanks for this article. Maybe after people will start to realize why they shouldn't cheat.

  107. Love this article! People often do things far too impulsively, or rationalize things to themselves and don't think about the cost-benefit analysis… I can't imagine anyone would cheat after reading this…

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