A Top Matchmaker's 5 Tips for Attracting Men - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog


A Top Matchmaker’s 5 Tips for Attracting Men

Tactics that have been successful in helping women attract men.


Finding a man is probably one of the hardest tasks we go through in life. Literally, it can take years before you even see a result. Some of us are still struggling to find love, while others have found it and held onto it for decades. Single men have it just as hard as single women do; so difficult, some seek out relationship experts to help them find the one. In her 11 years running the exclusive dating club VIPLIFE (clubviplife.com), matchmaker Lisa Clampitt has worked with over 1,000 of New York City’s most eligible bachelors.  Here are her top five tips for attracting a great man.

1.     Look Your Best

A Top Matchmaker’s 5 Tips for Attracting MenMen are visual, but that does not mean we all have to look like Barbie dolls. Pick a something that makes you feel confident. Whether it’s that cute outfit you keep in the front of your closet for a special occasion or your favorite pair of jeans, confidence is sexier than a tight dress.

2.     Smile!

Be friendly, open, and approachable.  The good guys need encouragement: smile, stand next to someone you would be interested in talking to and be responsive if they try and talk to you.  If you’re looking for someone to approach you, don’t go out with large gaggles of girlfriends because they’ll intimidate men from talking to you.  Also, don’t be glued to your cell phone. Leave a nice opening for someone to step in.

Warning: the overly confident man will approach a woman who looks busy or is in a big group of women. This is what we call a player.  He has a lot of practice and if rejected, he just shrugs it off and moves on to the next girl. He’s not looking for someone he’s interested in, he’s just looking for someone to go home with.

A Top Matchmaker’s 5 Tips for Attracting Men

3.     Be Authentic

Men love women that are comfortable in their skin and exude confidence.  My clients have consistently told me that they hate when women play games, act entitled or superficial.  They love when a woman is flirtatious and open.  You should still be cautious of how much you share. Over sharing can be a big deal breaker during the early stages of dating. Be present, yourself and listen–how you would want him to be with you.

4.     Compliment Him

No matter how modest you are, compliments are nice. It feels good for someone to notice something new about you and give attention to something you feel proud of–a job, accomplishment or even a simple common interest. Over-complimenting only makes you look desperate. Find what interests you about this guy and compliment him on it. It’s a fresh change compared to the complicated hard-to-get game. If he feels good around you, he will want to be around you more.

5.     Be Nice

A Top Matchmaker’s 5 Tips for Attracting MenIf you want a relationship oriented man, you have to think how a relationship oriented man would think.  He is looking for a perspective wife and mother of his children.  He is looking for someone kind, nurturing and loving.  Men often say they would love someone sexy, but with the personality of a teacher or social worker.  Even if you are a high power business woman, a doctor, a lawyer, or just a strong woman, remember, men don’t want to compete with you, they want to have fun with you and feel good about themselves.  So, put your tough side away for the night and focus on being your casual self.  If you find a match, there will be plenty of time to show him all of your strengths and qualities.

Lisa Clampitt, is the founder and president of VIP Life, the co-founder and Executive Director of the Matchmaking Institute, a professional matchmaker and relationship expert for over twelve years, a book author and a New York State Certified Social Worker since 1991. Lisa has been happily married for over seven years and lives in New York City with her husband and two children.

Reader Discussion: 3 Comments

  1. Courtney Watson

    Really, really, really great and helpful tips. I totally agree that looking your best means being “confident.” It’s not about the clothes or type of clothes you wear but it’s about HOW you carry yourself while wearing those clothes.

    For me, the most effective way of attracting a man is “being yourself and not pretending to be somebody else.” Don’t you ever lie to yourself just to be “attractive” because in the end, you might regret it…

  2. I think a lot of women follow these tips but may still end up lonely and single. Yes these are good tips to attracting men but there isn’t a correct way to get a guys attention. Ladies put these tips into practice but remember to still be yourself. Don’t change who you are for any man,  because if he is attracted it should e for the real you.

  3. Yes. If you wanna be happy in a relationship, find a MAN. Not a BOY,

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