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Why People Cheat + other Weekly Discoveries

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We are all part of a global community, and in that spirit we take each Friday to spread the love to others who’ve inspired us. In our Great Discoveries series, we feature the most interesting articles, a must-watch video and the most inspirational quote we discovered this week. Please spread the love and enjoy your day!

Why People Cheat + other Weekly Discoveries
The Judgemental NYC Subway Map

A NYC subway map that tells you what kind of people live near every station. Great if you’re thinking of moving, or just want to get a lay-of-the land. There’s also a link to a map with the best bars by every subway stop. [Read it at Thrillist]

Why People Cheat + other Weekly Discoveries

A Couples Therapist Explains the 4 Relationship Killers that End Marriages

Because you can never be too careful, when something’s that important… [Read on Business Insider]

This one you just have to watch to understand:
Why People Cheat + other Weekly Discoveries

Why People Cheat in Relationships

…and how to prevent it. Seriously – this article makes so much sense!! :/  [Read on Mark Mason’s blog]

Why People Cheat + other Weekly Discoveries

The Secret to Keeping Your Friends in Your 30’s

No time? We know the feeling. Here’s how to make sure you don’t lose friends, even though you have almost no time for them. [Read in NY Mag]

‘Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.’
-Eleanor Roosevelt

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36 Comments

  1. I say this: a WEAK person will cheat when the opportunity arises. It takes a STRONG person to deny what people believe is nature (and I believe it’s a scapegoat) and be faithful. If you find yourself unable to be faithful in a committed relationship, then avoid them. There’s no requirement of ANYONE nowadays to be married or in a relationship. So if you cheat, just don’t be in one.

  2. There are no reasons to cheat. There are EXC– USES to cheat. Ultimately a person cheats because they have decided that is what they are going to do. The reasons or motivations may be different but cheating will always be the act of a willing and able conscious person.

  3. Molly Twain

    After I’ve had some difficulties in personal life, my *friends* couldn’t handle my depression despite the fact I grew up with some of them and that I had been there for them during their breakups and drama. I was the friend that people used a shoulder to cry on, but when I needed to cry no one was there. I can’t help but feel bitter about it. But it is what it is. At least I know who my real friends are now, which was nobody.

    • Evelyn Sandler

      I’m so sorry you went through that 🙁 I’ll pray you feel better and get real friends because everyone deserves that. riends should be there for you when the going gets tough.

  4. Melissa Princeton

    people cheat because of lack of honesty. if you are unhappy or feel you cant be faithful, get help, or get a divorce. dont stay for “the kids” they wont appreciate it. theyd rather have happy persons than two miserable people stuck together.

  5. Christina Norelli

    Friends are not valued like they were. It’s easy to discard friends and pick up new ones , like new clothes. Whenever there is a change in your life or your friends, it will test the friendship. Many friends fade away once they have no need for you and their life changes, their needs being are fulfilled elsewhere. This is very selfish, but very common these days. There’s no commitment.

  6. Helena Stevens

    This story line of why couples cheat is nothing new… it’s been happening for yonks. Psychologists, psychiatrists, and sex therapists etc also cheat. In more ways then you or me because they are at the coal face, and patients who are vulnerable and easily manipulated. The other aspect is what becomes of the children, and the fall out for families? If you are gonna cheat, why get hitched?

    • Amanda Roberts

      honestly, i agree. if you cant be faithful, you should not get married. have an open relationship, leave alone the people that want monogamous relationships. both lifestyles are not wrong, what matters is that people need to be honest, you know?

  7. Betty O'Leary

    People cheat because their feelings for themselves are stronger than the feelings they have for their significant other. Even if those feelings are fleeting and for a brief moment, that’s all it takes. Bottom line…that’s it.

  8. Shannon Bradley

    The judgemental map was created according to what matters in the eye of the map-maker… But look at it subjectively, it’s either narrow-minded or completely dismissive, that’s why it’s so funny

    • Sibel Jenkinson

      The person who made it was obviously born in Ohio or somewhere. No idea what they’re talking about.

  9. Lucretia Asher

    The NY Mag’s article on friends is very helpful. In the past year, I’ve seemed to have lost every single friend I’d made since I was 11. I have only three or four friends now, and 2 treat me like garbage. I don’t know whats wrong with me, I’m kind, caring, and considerate. (I’m not trying to be self-involved but I know it wasn’t my fault) I dont know why everyone pulls away from me.

  10. Just my opinion and I’m not saying this is always the case, but I think men tend to cheat just because they like to have multiple partners/feel desirable by multiple people. And then women tend to cheat when they are unhappy in their current relationship and they’re looking for what they’re missing in their relationship. So for men I think it’s often just physical. For women more emotional. Although I’ve definitely heard of women that cheated because their man couldn’t “satisfy” them in bed too.

  11. Debbie Jones

    Amazing post about losing friends in your 30’s. I had the same problem, generally i am on good terms with people on my normal days. But there are times (short while) where i would feel overwhelmed and would hide in a shell without contact. Recently i stayed in that shell for 3 years and i find my friends not as warm towards me as maybe it felt like i had abandoned the friendship. Still working to regain myself. And then maybe worry about friendship later. After all, you first need to be your own best friend before letting others into your life. 🙂

  12. Julia MacLean

    Amazing round up of discoveries! That video really brought me to tears.

  13. Nicky Bryan

    Kind of relieving to read that it’s not just me who’s been losing friends… I started losing friends since my late 20’s. And it had started worrying me.

    • Camila Hilhorst

      No, it is just you… If you make the effort to retain your friends then you keep them – it is not about just expecting them to always be there, just like thw article says.

      • Camila Hilhorst

        I meant, it is NOT just you. Sorry for the typo!

  14. Kaitlyn Barrett

    That New York Subway map makes you think as it makes you laugh. Good one.

  15. Danielle Wilson

    Quite interesting topics! – I honestly don’t think cheating can be prevented. It’s not up to you. It’s all about your other half and their character.

  16. Christina Brown

    So true, so true. Keeping a friend in 30’s was great read, it brought smiles and tears to my eyes. Now 34, life continues to change in ways I never thought. I think that piece is really out of touch with a great deal of women today. Thank you! So happy that I could relate to it.

  17. Margret Kegley

    This series is exactly what I needed to read. So powerful and full of meaning. This story line of why couples cheat is nothing new. For me, they cheat because they’re selfish pricks unable to control themselves. I appreciate this list very much! Thanks for sharing.

  18. Kimberly Vigil

    Awesome finds. I really love Urbanette, you’re always giving me a lot of inspiration about anything. These finds are important and nurturing. I loved the relationship killers, it gives me some sense of peace & I plan on keeping it as a reminder. It has shed some light on the matter for me definitely and I intend to use it.

  19. Delilah Peyton

    People cheat because they’re scumbags -in my opinion. Sorry for the foul language but the whole cheating thing really ticks me off. :/

  20. Stephanie Thomas

    Thank you so much for this post. No matter how much we know about the reasons why people cheat in relationships, we’re still hurt and devastated when we find out we’ve been betrayed. It really hurts, and it does feel like your life is over. My prayer for all who are experiencing this, have more strength, courage, and wisdom. May you all have clarity as you move forward in your life. And may you know that you are worth more than being in a relationship with someone who cheats. ❣

  21. Laura Strother

    Wow, what a great set of ideas. Well done a very simple and concise post. I also loved the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, one of my favorite activist. Looking forward to learning more from reading your articles. Thank you for sharing this.

  22. Sarah Evanston

    I think the map’s amazing but I wish I can enlarge it…

  23. Anne Dawson

    I personally think that having a baby, child or children ruins a marriage. I mean children cause disagreements between the husband and the wife. Well, it’s an issue I’ve observed with relatives.

  24. Michelle Robbins

    Love your collection! I always thought the reasons for divorce were adultery, substance abuse, & physical violence. You gave me new learning! Thanks, Urbanette!

  25. Fantastic NYC subway map 😉

  26. Great discoveries!

    Friendship like romantic relationship requires hard work and patience. I only have a limited number of friends but I’m sure that they are my friends for keep.

  27. Susan Stewart

    Oh yes! I’ve been asking this question… why people cheat! I love that article citing Genghis Khan. Indeed, relationship is a choice and decision that we have to make everyday, never ever think of it as an obligation!

    • Ariella Louisa

      “To achieve that intimacy and love, you have to sacrifice your own self-gratification at times.” I beg to disagree with you… It’s hard (and almost impossible) not consider a relationship as an obligation!

      The moment you entertained a relationship, you want it to last, which can only be achieved if you learn to be responsible for each other’s happiness and fulfillment. Thus, it becomes an obligation…

  28. I’d like to comment on article about things that end marriages. I have lots of friends who end up getting a divorce because of financial issues. I think “money” or economical problems should be included in the list.

  29. How about my collection of gorgeous home wear? http://popcultureliving.com/tinsley-mortimer/

  30. We just adopted a second cat. It’s kitten season, so maybe you can post something about the best places to look for kitten adoptions? (Older cats are great too, BTW)

    That NYC subway map is awesome BTW!

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