I’m a model. I mean, I’m a writer, but I’m also a model. So I know what I’m talking about when I say that, along with all the benefits (like having an easier time getting into nightclubs and finding casual sex, I suppose, if that’s what you’re into), there are also a lot of negatives that come along with the package of ‘being beautiful’. And please, don’t hate me because I’m A) beautiful, or B) complaining about it (yeah, I know it may be hard)…
Reason #1: It makes dating harder. Yes, you heard right. I’ll explain why. When men see a woman that looks like a model, far too many of them see her as an object. I can only partially blame them for this, since society hammers it into our heads with objectifying ads and misogynistic porn. Hence, these men see ‘hot girls’ as something to possess and show off. They don’t really spend a lot of time trying to get to know her as a person, because for many men, beauty is enough.
But wait — that actually really sucks for us pretty girls. Really. Because when a man wants to possess you, he often pretends to be whatever you want… until he gets tired of pretending. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten my hopes up and ended up with “Wow, he turned out to be a giant a-hole… but I really thought he was suuucch a nice guy! I don’t know what happened??” It’s because either he could only fake it for so long, or he moved on to another ‘hot girl’. We are, after all, pretty much interchangeable when looked at purely from a superficial perspective.
Reason #2: People assume I’m not going to have anything interesting to say. When I start talking, articulately, about gender issues or politics, it’s often hard for them to hold in their surprise. I guess they think I spend all day doing my nails, reading watching beauty blogs vlogs, and hanging with my peeps at the gym. Uhm, not quite.
Reason #3: Women hate me for no good reason. It’s hard to make girlfriends, and really easy to make frenemies. When you’re the ‘hot girl’, women don’t want to be around you because they’re been brainwashed (by Disney! let that blow your mind!) into thinking that life is a big competition between women for men. News flash: if a guy wants me instead of you, then he was never really yours (and I certainly don’t want the jerk!). Alternatively, far too many women do want to be around you, just to get close to you and hurt you, which somehow props up their own ego.
Reason #4: Aside from having a hard time finding men who want us for our inner beauty, I recently discovered that there are also major downsides to being beautiful at work. A recent study* observed what happened when job-seekers attached their headshot to their resume, and how prospective employers reacted to what they saw. The study involved the sending of fictitious applications to around 2,500 real job vacancies, where every position was sent two similar resumes with contrasting photos.
The study found that the good-looking men had better chances of getting employed than the ugly; however, this resulted in the opposite for the women. The good looking ladies were far less likely to be offered a job and needed to send out an average of eleven resumes to various firms before being invited by one for an interview. Ruffle calls this “the dumb-blonde hypothesis,” or the general misconception that beautiful women are stupid.
A related opinion piece, by The Daily Mail writer Samantha Brick, had another theory why this is happening: “that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks.” Brick says she was often dropped by friends at dinners out because they felt threatened by the fact that she was in the presence of their other halves, adding that “if their partners dared to actually talk to me, a sudden chill would descend on the room.” At work, Brick was once called to the office for her manner of dress (which she felt was conservative) and told that she was distracting her male colleagues.
Now, I know that Urbanette readers are way too confident and empowered to hate on the ‘hot girl’, but if you ever catch yourself wavering, try to remember that we all have our challenges, and nobody’s life is perfect. We live in a double-standard society, and no matter how much we say that human behavior and thinking has evolved to become more accepting and open-minded than ever, discrimination remains.
Beauty or beast (by society’s standards, of course), everybody has a cross to bear.
Wow, I had no idea that it was harder for pretty women to get hired. Scary.
Pretty women are not stupid! Sad but true, pretty women are viewed as brainless and senseless persons when it comes to workplace.
I believe all the “pretty women” out there SHOULD / NEED to prove this statement wrong. In everything you do, give it your best shot! Work intelligently 🙂
Telling a woman dressed professional and conservatively to change her style because she's distracting the boys is a double standard indeed! But it looks like, when it comes to appearance and getting jobs, men have to deal with a double standard as well.
Everyone is judge based on appearance. That's what the first impression is based on. A beautiful woman may walk into an interview and employers may think that she's unreliable and too focus on their own looks to actually get work done. It happens. It's our job to prove them wrong.
The pretty ones attract “jealous” frenemies like how flowers attract bees. That’s why it’s better to stick to being friends with gay men. 😉
I’ve even tried that & their boyfriend gets jealous!!! I’m fucked!
I hate double standards too. I believe we need to learn to accept each other as we are…
LOL! This is crazy. But then again, yes. There are double standards! tsk.
I read Samantha Brick’s article on The Daily Mail. I wanted to sympathize with her but came short. I couldn’t decide if she was too obsessed on her “pretty” appearance to think that every woman in the world hates her simply because of envy… or she played on people’s emotion through her write-up. Either way, she was an effective marketer because her article got so many hits.
I know a lot of corporate women who are adored by their female co-workers. They are not only good-looking but also smart and efficient employers. And they certainly don’t look down on other women based on physical appearance, unlike Samantha Brick (who also claimed that some female journalist is too ugly for TV).
I do get your point on workplace discrimination due to good looks.
Look, let’s face it. Everyone gets judged by the way they look. It’s the first impression thing. Pretty people (really intelligent or not) can do really impress the ones who are interviewing them.
How I truly hate double standards. That’s the reason why women act crazy these days! The society glorifies physical beauty and pretty women get hired less. Then men expect women to be sexy/seductive but then they also have to have child-like innocence?! I feel infuriated by this sometimes. Why can’t we all just accept each other as we are?