How To Understand Introverts

Introverts are widely misunderstood. We aren’t shy, and we’re definitely not boring.


Invite me to a party and my reply will be an automatic “no” after pretending to consider it. In my head, I continue our conversation: “Why can’t we just stay in today? Maybe order some Chinese, watch a movie, play a game of Monopoly?” But I know not to bother; I’m aware how boring that’ll sound to almost everyone else, especially in a college environment that screams possibility. Well, that’s okay, because I’m fine with staying in by myself, curled up with a good book and alone with my thoughts.

How To Understand Introverts

Why will I usually turn down your party invitation for an evening alone? Probably because I’m an introvert.

Let’s set a few things straight. I have no problem talking to new people, as long as they’re not intimidating and we’re in a one-on-one situation. I have no problem talking in front of the camera;  I have no problem talking period. I can talk on and on whether I’m with my friends, in front of the camera, or participating in class. If I disagree with you, I’ll tell you to your face. I like hanging out with people when I feel comfortable enough around them. I even have some extroverted traits. No one’s completely one or the other; however, these characteristics are overshadowed by my more dominant, introverted side. So what’s the real difference between these two extremes?

It’s how they get their energy. Introverts are charged internally, meaning they create their own energy. They’re also easily stimulated, which is why their energy is more quickly spent, and why they often need alone time to recharge. It isn’t that introverts hate social situations – it’s that their capacity for them is limited. Extroverts are energized by outside forces, but are less easily stimulated, which is why they’re always seeking more thrills. Things that energize extroverts will usually enervate introverts. A nightclub, for example, would be a battery charger for extroverts, but a battery drainer for introverts.

How To Understand Introverts

It isn’t that introverts hate social situations – it’s that their capacity for them is limited.

Extroverts, you really need to give your counterparts more credit. Introverts like hanging out with people and they like to talk – in my case, a lot; however, they’re not as outgoing and energetic. This isn’t a bad thing – it’s just different. Give introverts their space when they need it. Forcing them to go out to a club with you might just stress them out. Extroverts also need their calm moments, so why not use that time to sit down for a one-on-one with your introverted friend. Chatting over coffee or going on a shopping spree can be both fun and relaxing.

Introverts, ignore the recent studies that say extroverts are happier. I personally find it really difficult to act like a complete extrovert, and doing so definitely doesn’t make me happy. In fact, it just stresses me out more. I cringe at pretending to smile, and awkwardly dancing to convince everyone I’m having the time of my life isn’t my idea of fun, either.

It isn’t bad to socialize and step out of your comfort zone once in a while, but you don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not. To echo Susan Cain, who wrote Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, I don’t think introversion is a problem that can be solved by acting extroverted. That’s because introversion isn’t a problem at all!

I want introverts to embrace who they are and realize their worth. They’re the deep thinkers, the innovators, the sensitive poets. It’s time for society to embrace not only extroversion but also introversion. Without one or the other, this society would not function.

How To Understand Introverts

Introverts are widely misunderstood. We aren’t shy, and we’re definitely not boring. As a matter of fact, many famous celebrities, some of whom you probably adore, are introverts. There’s the gorgeous Keira Knightley who, despite her fierce and fearless movie roles, is just like me (and by “just like me,” I mean a much more attractive and talented version of me). Then there’s the adorable Amanda Seyfried, who, despite playing the role of a famous porn star, is another introvert. I could go on and on here, maybe pointing out influential public figures, such as J.K. Rowling and Barack Obama, who are also self-proclaimed introverts.

I’m not ashamed of the fact that I’m basically waving these names around like banners for my people. To this end, I ask that everyone take a moment to applaud all the introverts out there! (To which I respond, “Thank you, thank you,” and not-so-gracefully bow.)

Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert, or do you think the distinction is arbitrary? Speak out in the comments section!

Reader Discussion: 154 Comments

  1. Avatar of Aman R

    Ohh that’s sooo cool… It means I’m introvert… ???? Love myself…
    This content is really fantastic and fascinating too..

  2. Avatar of Catherine Lewis

    Catherine Lewis

    I’m an ambivert. I like socializing and at the same time, I like being alone. Being alone has its perks so I like it. For 1 I can be my self when I’m alone and not show my mask just to socialize with a bunch people who honestly don’t even care.

  3. Avatar of Jessie Nash

    Jessie Nash

    Being an introvert will automatically label you as “snob” “boring” “emo” “dead kid” and all sort of stupid things. Lucky for me I don’t give a shit about normies opinions on what they don’t anything about.

    • Avatar of Delia Ball

      Delia Ball

      Or you can just stop being a bitch about it so no one will call you that.

  4. Avatar of Linda Williams

    Linda Williams

    We do not need to be understood. We just want to be accepted as another human being. Having this article trying to understand us is just dumb. No one can understand us just like we can’t understand others. But we can accept them for who they are.

  5. Avatar of Osana Smith

    Osana Smith

    I have an introvert friend. She always says that she has urges to socialize and go to parties or gathering of the sort. But when she arrives it quickly gets boring for her and just want’s to go home and be alone again. But when she goes home the opposite happens. Such a cycle that they don’t understand and I just adore.

    • Avatar of Kathryn Gibson

      Kathryn Gibson

      The cycle of “I want to go out it’s boring here” and “I want to go home is sucks here”

  6. Avatar of Candis Melton

    Candis Melton

    Introverts are the most fun people I have met. They are nimble with their hands and can spend hours of time working on something without getting tired of it. Extroverts are like children with ADHD. Can’t concentrate on a task at hand.

  7. Avatar of Olive Williams

    Olive Williams

    I for one still can’t understand why a human being, A social animal would want to isolate himself. I can’t and will not understand this. But i accept them as human and with individuality to make decisions for themselves.

  8. Avatar of Meghan Medina

    Meghan Medina

    introverts are people who observe other people and carefully judge who is going to drag the group down or who are the people who will help it grow. They make good leaders or advisors.

    • Avatar of Lillian Sanders

      Lillian Sanders

      So? They are silent judges in their own head?

  9. Avatar of Kelly Osborne

    Kelly Osborne

    I believe introverts are the dominant species now. They are the next step in our evolution. A species that don’t need to be in a group just to survive and only seek companionship just to produce offsprings of next-generation introverts.

  10. Avatar of Maggie Lawrence

    Maggie Lawrence

    Introverts for me are the normal adult humans. They can have fun without the crowd and other people making them happy. They are perfectly happy just with their lonesome selves and it’s not bothering anyone. PLUS! They have amazing hygiene, but other social animals tend to not even bother showering daily.

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