Sexy isn't a Halloween Costume

Fashion

Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??

Before you put on your sexy bunny costume, here’s why you might be completely missing the mark…

By 

Every post-pubescent girl has dressed as a “sexy” something at least once on Halloween. Maybe you were a “sexy” elf, “sexy” pirate or a “sexy” accountant—yes, the costume industry has been getting really -ahem- creative. While it may be tempting to try to out-sexy other women on Halloween, I urge you to resist.

Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??

Before you put on your sexy bunny costume, check out these five semi-serious reasons why your sexy outfit might be completely missing the mark:

  1. You don’t have to enter the ‘who is sexier’ contest. No, not literally… but it seems that every Halloween has turned into a forced opportunity to show off and self-objectify. Unless you enjoy having men view you as nothing but a potential lay, check out of that competition. If women stopped buying sexy pirate costumes, then Chinese factories would stop making them. Get the scientist costume this time — the mad scientist, not the sexy scientist!
  2. Freezing isn’t sexy. It’s almost November and last time I checked, shivering was not sexy. Those freakishly intense goosebumps you have all over your thighs feel majorly distracting. People would be complimenting your creative, “sexy” Pope costume if they weren’t suggesting that you WebMD your wild goose bumps. Let’s say you did bring your giant coat just in case. You thought you were being super smart, didn’t you? Well, you didn’t even end up wearing it! You were too desperate to show off your super sexy costume, so you ended up holding your giant coat all night, which turned out to be a huge burden.
  3. Complaining isn’t sexy. Obviously, you were complaining about how cold you were or how annoying it was to hold your jacket you should’ve been wearing. You were mad that your opaque tights weren’t keeping you warm. Yea, those stupid tights—it’s  definitely not your fault that you wore assless chaps and a leather bikini top in 40-degree weather to be a sexy apocalyptic hooker.Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??
  4. Sleaze-balls aren’t sexy. The kind of guys you’re attracting with your “sexy” whatever-the-hell costume are creeps –not the cute guy you had your eye on. Do you really want some horny jerk gawking at your chest and hanging off you all night? Think that cute, non-creepy guy from before might have wanted to approach you? Well, too bad because there is a sleazy guy blocking you while the guy you really wanted is wandering off.
  5. Discomfort isn’t sexy. That tight corset that your friends thought looked super hot is slowly becoming one with your skin. You can’t wait to get home so you can rip it off and jump into sweatpants. Thing is, if you’re uncomfortable, people can tell. It completely affects your confidence and there is no point in wearing that “sexy” vampire costume if you can’t exert the confidence to wear it. You’ll just look grumpy. Being comfortable in your skin is what’s attractive—not the lack of clothing on it.Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??
  6. Being “sexy” for Halloween implies you’re not really sexy the other 364 days of the year. Sexy isn’t a costume! Halloween is about dressing up as something that you’re not. Sexy is being smart, intellectual, funny, confident, and interesting. Anyone can throw on the same amount of clothing that a 1yr old wears. What you see lined up in the women’s section of a costume store isn’t sexy, it’s desperate.

Whatever you do this Halloween, dress for yourself. Don’t be some ordinary stereotypical costume because you’re seeking attention or because your friends pushed you into it.

I know the truth—I know you’re freezing in that costume and you’d really rather be admired for more than your hot bod. And to prove it, here’s a collection of my most ridiculous Halloween costumes (I WISH I READ THIS ARTICLE 10 YEARS AGO!):

Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??Is Your Costume TOO Sexy??

Resist the urge to enter the ‘who can show the most skin’ contest, return that $50 costume that is too small to deserve a hanger, and put on something you really want to wear. Your sexiness will still be intact, I swear.

A writer, artist, and designer since she was young enough to put pencil to paper, Hilary taught herself code and created Urbanette when she was a teenager. Currently, she lives in Monte Carlo, but spent the past decade living in NYC, still considers herself a New Yorker, and visits regularly. She's always traveling, looking for hot new topics, destinations, and life hacks to bring to Urbanette readers.

Reader Discussion: 432 Comments

  1. Laura Mendoza

    You look stunning in those costumes Hilary. I don’t think it looks that bad! Be kind to yourself!?

  2. Violet Perkins

    Your costumes aren’t as bad as mine. I also dressed up as a playboy bunny and my ass was so cold already last year.

  3. Colleen Mcbride

    I’m not even excited about Halloween anymore because I’ll be seeing the same costume in stores over and over again. I’m getting tired because even online selling platforms only sell “sexy costumes” for Halloween. I don’t really enjoy looking like I wanna be stalked on the streets. We all know how men also like role-playing and it stirs up their imagination when we feed them with such “images” when we wear something sexy. I don’t enjoy the unnecessary attention.

  4. Victoria Martin

    When I was younger, wearing sexy costumes were normal. But now that I’m a grown woman, I feel like that’s not very classy at all.

  5. Faye Long

    Whenever colleagues of mine talk about costumes for Halloween, they always want to be the traditional sexy nurse, sexy witch, or sexy bunny. It’s like they just switch their costumes up every year for another sexy costume and they don’t even try to be creative with it. There was this one time that I asked them why and they said it’s what makes guys talk to them. Basically, they’re single and they want to attract men to date. I’m not sure if they meant a serious relationship or just a fling, but I don’t think it’s working well.

    • I don’t think your friends want to date anyone serious because they’re not going to find decent men with those outfits.

  6. Rebecca Taylor

    This is a reminder that this Halloween, women should choose better costumes instead of always going with the usual sexy outfit.?

  7. Susan Petty

    Sorry ladies, but decent men that you find attractive aren’t going to fall for that sexy costume. Most probably, they will get intimidated and will assume that you’re easy and that you’ll go for anyone. If you are willing to go out in that cold weather just to prove something about your body, men can see through that. They’re not as dumb as you all think. The only men you’re getting that night is someone who is more than just a creep! You will be pounced on by perverts!

  8. Maria Brandon

    Any costume will make you feel sexy as long as you wear it confidently. Confidence is the sexiest thing the girl can wear, even if it’s not Halloween.

  9. Sonya Crespo

    Leather is probably the worst thing you can wear on Halloween. I bet it’s not even real leather so you’re really going to freeze to death.

    • Catherine Hogan

      Hahahaha, but most of the sexy outfits are made of leather. Bye hoes! You’re all going to freeze!

  10. Iva Wirt

    I think I will still stick to my sexy bunny costume. I’ve been dying to wear them since June. Yes, I’m preparing my costume since June. Lol. ?

    • Megan Parsons

      It’s also a big deal for me. Halloween is the only time I can wear something I want to wear without being judged. Can’t wait to wear my costume on the Halloween!

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