Relationer
The Feminist Guide To Keeping Chivalry Alive
How you can do your part to keep him doing his part.
Vær bejleren
En af mine venner nægter at tage imod gaver fra fyre. Uanset om det er noget lidt kliché som roser eller noget ekstravagant som en halskæde - hun afviser det hele. Hun ønsker ikke at blive opfattet som "trængende", siger hun. Det har altid været den fyr, der forventes at give pigen gaver - aldrig omvendt. (Dette er komisk ironisk, fordi det er os, der angiveligt er bedre shoppere.) Det er ikke underligt, at kvinder som min ven nu forsøger at vende dette billede af kvindelig medgørlighed ved helt at undgå gaver. Men det lyder ikke som noget sjovt for mig. Jeg skammer mig ikke over at sige det: Jeg elsker at få gaver. (Jamen, jeg ville have taget den cd.) Men jeg elsker også at give gaver.
Tag elskværdig imod gaver fra fyre, men vær heller ikke bange for at påtage dig rollen som gavegiver. Overrask ham. Mød op ved hans dørtrin med en grungy t-shirt, du fandt på loppemarkedet med hans yndlingsband på forsiden, eller mød op med hele Ringenes Herre-serien, fordi han er bedårende nørdet, og DVD-pakken var $5 ved et garagesalg , eller møde op med mad (de siger aldrig nej til mad).
Hvis du kan lide en fyr, så vær modig og vis ham. Fej ham væk fra fødderne. Vi lever i en tid, hvor både mænd og kvinder kan være både bejler og bejler.
Kathryn Diego
I lived in many big cities worldwide. 2 years ago, I moved to a small town in North Central Texas. Immediately, the difference was very clear. Living in Colorado, when traveling through small towns as well as the more developed & populated areas, the people were out for themselves. This occasionally extended to their family members, not always. The door was left to slam on me most often, the people would push & shove by without an “excuse me” or, “I’m sorry”. If the door was held for me, it was more of an afterthought than anything. Even when there was a weak, half-hearted door hold, I made sure to smile & thank the person, male or female.
Louise Rose
When we encourage chivalry we will not do any harm to our society as long as it is properly understood. In reality, I believe it could do wonders for our morals and behavior which have, as a whole, been degrading as time has worn on.
steev smith
Do you remember the last time anyone held a door for you? Isn’t that such a nice feeling? So let’s all give that feeling away more.
Mary Schippers
I assume that every man knows that he should open a door for a lady. It’s pretty straightforward when you are slightly ahead of the lady. Open the door and allow her to walk through. No problems there. However, what happens when she reaches the door first and begins to open it. Well, it’s not ideal, but ensure that your hands are on the door to guide the process. She probably doesn’t mind opening the door for herself, but it would be nice if you helped. Try not to make it awkward by forcing her out the way to open the door.
Sona Moni
There is nothing more frustrating than a man wanting to go out with a woman and having absolutely no creativity to plan a date. Chances are if you’ve asked her out you know enough about her to know something she would enjoy doing. So, refrain from saying, “What should we do?” Take her to a shooting range or to visit an animal shelter. Show her something you like to do for fun. It doesn’t all need to be the pressure of dinner. Honestly, believe it or not, women are quite simple species when it comes to entertainment.
Wanda Lee
As a woman, I always do my best to show gratitude for the good manners & chivalry I encounter. I will stand at a door, waiting for a gentleman or lady with a walker, a cane, a baby stroller or any such impediment which would make having their door held, a little nicer. I try to catch people doing something kind so that I can reinforce the good manners, then show appreciation.
Kathleen McAlister
It’s great that you do this, really.
James Hannks
Show me a lady who deserves chivalry and I’ll be chivalrous. Today’s women tend to be selfish and exude such a strong sense of entitlement yet they demand to be treated as equals. When women chose to equitably exercise the attributes that you mentioned, namely respect, patience and thoughtfulness, then I’ll consider doing the same.
Clare Wright
Chivalry is not a reactive trait, but rather a proactive characteristic. No longer do I hold the door for a lady in hope that she will say, “Thank you.” I hold it because I believe it’s the right thing to do.
Jonathon Swift
What I do for a lady is my honor. Need no rewards of any type. If not deserving I will still assist for it is the right thing to do. Though I have been taken advantage of, it is I who walks with head held high. Through the years of ridiculing my hopes of those who may follow.
Marjory Brooks
Women must take an active and equal part in displaying knightly virtues, courtly love, and honor while men must take on the mantle of their knightly forefathers.
Patricia Tucker
Chivalry is reciprocated.
Oxi Harger
Chivalry is really just a way to use a fancier word for kindness. Really. It is not gender specific at all, and in most cases, it really does boil down to something as simple as holding a door for someone, or opening someone’s car door to make them feel special. They are incredibly simple gestures that take less than a few seconds, but they have a genuine impact on those on the receiving end of them.
Maria Rapier
True! It’s basically just kindness and you don’t even have to be always thanked for doing a good deed.