Not everyone is lucky enough to get –and beat– cancer in their early 30’s. Sound like a strange thing to say? I don’t think it is. Let me explain why.
I’d been feeling low-energy for a few months, and had been getting crazy 4-day-long crippling migraines. That, coupled with an itchy rash that kept me up all night every night scratching, had me feeling like I was in my early 80’s, not my early 30’s. I went to see doctor after doctor who prescribed various pharmaceuticals that did nothing to make me feel better — or only helped temporarily. Two doctors even insisted that I had “chronic Lyme Disease” and tried to get me to go on aggressive courses of antibiotics (which I declined, I’m happy to say).
Finally, after over a year of this, I learned that I’d have to take my health into my own hands if I was to get better, and I started doing a ton of online research. I’d like to say it was me who figured out that I had cancer, but it was, in fact, my mother’s startlingly effective research skills that cracked this case almost a year and a half after I first got sick, and started me on my long journey of recovery.
Here are five reasons why –although having cancer was certainly a harrowing experience not only for me, but for my family– I actually feel lucky to have gone through it:
Concentrez-vous toujours sur le côté positif
La compétence la plus importante que j’ai acquise en étant malade est la capacité de voir le côté positif de chaque chose. Toutes les mauvaises choses finiront par passer. Si vous regardez assez attentivement, vous pouvez tirer une leçon, une appréciation ou une sorte de valeur plus durable de chaque mauvaise chose qui vous est arrivée. L’astuce consiste à se concentrer sur cette leçon plutôt que sur la blessure et à essayer de voir la mauvaise chose qui s’est produite comme précieuse, grâce à elle. Je le promets, cela rend la vie beaucoup plus facile. La pensée positive change votre réalité etSanté.
"Le véritable voyage de découverte consiste non seulement à rechercher de nouvelles terres, mais aussi à voir avec de nouveaux yeux."
-Marcel Proust
Les bons amis seront là pour toi dans les moments difficiles
Le cancer m'a aidé à apprendre qui sont mes vrais amis - et cela m'a surpris. J'ai pu voir qui s'est enregistré pour voir comment j'allais et qui ne l'a pas fait. Ce n’était pas toujours celui auquel je m’attendais.
L'amour est inestimable
After listening to an audiobook called Radical Remission, and hearing cancer survivor’s stories, I learned that the people who survived had one thing in common: the support of close friends. I would add pets and family to that. Basically — l'amour. En fait, plus ils voyaient régulièrement de vrais amis, meilleure était leur santé. L'amour donne du sens à la vie. Cela nous donne une raison subconsciente de vivre. J'ai donc appris à passer moins de temps à travailler et plus de temps à parler à ma famille et à passer du temps avec mes amis. Oui, même s'il pleut ou s'il fait froid dehors.
Ne tirez pas votre identité de vos réalisations
Lorsque je suis tombé malade, j'ai malheureusement réalisé que si je mourais, je finirais par être oublié et que mes réalisations professionnelles dans la vie n'auraient que très peu d'importance dans le grand schéma des choses. Je me suis demandé : si je pensais qu’il me restait un an dans ma vie, est-ce que je regretterais de l’avoir passé à travailler ? La réponse : Bon sang, oui ! Alors j'ai tout ralenti et j'ai commencé à me concentrer sur le fait d'avoir plus moi temps.
Une fois que j'ai séparé mon identité de mon travail, je suis arrivé à la conclusion que ce qui est vraiment important, c'est d'avoir assez d'argent pour survivre (et payer les factures médicales !), et au-delà de cela, il s'agit avant tout d'essayer d'être heureux et d'avoir un but (surtout , les personnes en bonne santé ont un but en dehors de leurs propres besoins et passent du temps redonner). En d’autres termes, faites ce que vous pouvez pour apporter une différence positive dans le monde tant que vous le pouvez, et n’associez pas de valeur personnelle au travail.
Ce que vous mangez, buvez et sentez vraimentEst-ce important
Au cours de ma quête pour comprendre la question séculaire du « POURQUOI MOI ?! », j’ai beaucoup appris sur la santé. J’ai appris qu’aux États-Unis, il n’existe pratiquement aucune protection pour nous maintenir en bonne santé. Cela signifie que ce que vous mettez sur votre peau et dans votre bouche doit être réglementé par VOUS. Parce que savoir ce qu'il y a dans votre alimentation, ce qu'est un OGM et pourquoi le bio est tellement meilleur, pourquoi le sucre est mauvais pour vous, quels sont ces produits chimiques dans votre crème pour la peau – et faire des choix intelligents sur cette base – pourrait bien vous sauver la vie un jour.
Sur cette note, consultez ces articles pour en savoir plus :
It is always inspiring to read of someone taking something so many see as ‘negative’ and finding the positives within it. So much of what we experience, depends on the choices we make about how to respond and keep responding as we step forwards. You show this wonderfully. I studied for a Masters in Applied Positive Psychology a few years ago and learned of an interesting phenomenon called ‘post traumatic growth’. It has been found that many people actually experience a period of enhanced growth in their lives in response to a trauma, rather than the opposite. I found this extremely ‘hope-giving’ for everyone. The more individuals (like you) that can demonstrate and share a positive response to something usually perceived negatively, the better. It helps more and more people understand it is possible and they can create improved experiences for themselves, should they ever encounter a similar challenge. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.
Thank you so much for the comment! There’s a great book called Antifragile, which is all about the concept of getting stronger through pain and adversity. It’s definitely a practice… but very much life-enhancing (and lengthening!) 🙂 xo
I’m glad you’ve handled it well, Hilary! I’ve lost some friends to cancer. And I also know a lot who were able to fight it and live normal and healthy afterward. I must say you’re doing great. People are supporting you, stay strong 🙂
Just wanted to let you know that I’ve been following your writing for years now and you’re a true inspiration. Thanks for being such an honest writer!
Thank you! I hope that writing about important issues and being honest about my experiences will help remove the stigma about things like cancer. I’m not ashamed to have been sick — I see it as a positive, so maybe after reading this, others will too 🙂
Hilary – It certainly made me think twice about the hard things I’ve been through. Thanks for the new perspective!
I really appreciate that you had the courage to write this article, instead of keeping this private. I think you’ll be an inspiration for anyone who’s had cancer or had something bad happen to them. Kudos!
It’s really crazy how many young people are getting cancer these days. Make’s you wonder what the cause is. My guess is it’s a combination of toxins in the air, water, and food we eat. Who knows, maybe it’s all the wifi hot spots. So hard to know how to avoid the dangers out there. Thanks for writing this, it’s a great reminder how careful/smart we have to be these days to protect ourselves. Soldier on!
Yes! I was shocked to find out how many other young people I know have or had cancer. People generally don’t talk about it until you bring it up… Even my cat sitter, who’s in her 20’s, has been living with cancer.
There are a number of natural things out there that have been researched for decades that are effective with cancer as well as other things and for bringing your body back to normal afterwards. One of the best is DDW. Check out the Docs web site if you like. http://www.hyd.hu/en
I will check that out – thanks!
I very much identify with your article, having lived through a similar experience in my late 20’s. 30 years later those experience still positively shape my everyday. Maybe now even more than ever. Thank you for inspiring others to see their own silver linings and to take initiatives in their own healthcare / WellCare.
That must have been an intense experience!! Holy cow – to think you’re dying. And that young… I keep hearing about young people getting cancer, but it’s interesting to read your story and what you got out of it. Now if I could only find some sort of positive lesson or something from the experience of breaking up with the ‘love of my life’… easier said than done…ug!
It’s so inspiring to read that you went through that and came out the other side stronger. I wish I had that kind of spirit! You’re making me think twice about a lot of things in my life though… Not many articles have had this much of an impact on me. So, thanks.
My hope is that sharing my experience will to help others have an easier time getting through hardship.
Wow. I can’t imagine the shock of finding out your have cancer. What an uplifting article. It’s amazing that you were able to go through something so tough and get these empowering lessons from it. The world needs more people to think that way!