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Le guide complet : vos fantasmes sexuels

Tout ce que vous avez toujours eu besoin de savoir sur vos propres fantasmes et comment les transmettre.

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Le guide complet : vos fantasmes sexuels

Dis-lui pendant que tu es déprimé et sale

Dans quelle mesure le partage est-il trop ?

Quand il s'agit de fantasmes, devriez-vous en parler à votre partenairetout? Cela dépend de vous, mais cela peut être une bonne idée de garder certaines choses pour vous. Si vous fantasmez sur le nouveau voisin ou le meilleur ami de votre partenaire, vous ne voudrez peut-être pas partager cette information : c'est un peu trop proche de chez vous et pourrait blesser votre partenaire ou engendrer de la jalousie et des soupçons. Avoir un fantasme sans nom et sans visage est une chose, mais convoiter une personne accessible est une toute autre affaire. De même, si certains de vos fantasmes penchent du côté obscur, utilisez votre jugement pour déterminer si cela vaut la peine de faire flipper totalement votre partenaire.

Certains couples ont des lignes de communication très ouvertes et partagent chaque détail – plus de pouvoir pour vous si tel est le cas et que vous en êtes tous les deux satisfaits. Mais garder certaines informations pour soi est probablement la voie à suivre dans la plupart des relations : ce n'est pas de la malhonnêteté, mais plutôt le maintien d'un peu d'intimité et de mystère.

 

Réaliser vos fantasmes

Le guide complet : vos fantasmes sexuels

Vous voulez être ligoté et masturbé ?

Vous avez partagé votre fantasme le plus fou avec votre partenaire et il est prêt à le tenter. Et maintenant? Pour garantir une expérience positive pour vous deux, convenez des limites avec lesquelles vous êtes tous les deux à l'aise avant de commencer. Si vous souhaitez essayer un petit jeu brutal, découvrez jusqu'où chacun d'entre vous est prêt à aller. Même si une légère fessée peut convenir, mordre peut être interdit.

Si vous vous aventurez dans le territoire du jeu de rôle, vous souhaiterez peut-être également choisir un « mot sûr ». C'est un mot que vous ne prononceriez normalement pas pendant les rapports sexuels, comme « éléphant », qui indique à votre partenaire que vous voulez qu'il arrête ce qu'il fait. « Non » et « stop » ne sont pas de bons mots sûrs, car votre « personnage » pourrait les prononcer dans le cadre d'un jeu de rôle sans vraiment les vouloir, comme dans « Non, monsieur l'officier, je ne porte pas de sous-vêtements ». Vous pouvez également utiliser des mots comme « vert » pour signifier « OK » ou « plus dur », jaune pour signifier « ralentir » ou « arrêter cette action » et « rouge » pour signifier « arrêter la scène ».

Pour tous les fantasmes autres que les jeux de rôle, une communication ouverte est votre meilleur pari. Demandez à votre partenaire comment il se sent, s'il apprécie cela et s'il aimerait que vous fassiez les choses différemment. Une fois que vous vous êtes assuré qu'il passe un bon moment, détendez-vous et profitez de la balade. Une fois que tout est dit et fait, faites un débriefing ensemble. Demandez à votre partenaire ce qu'il a aimé et ce qu'il n'a pas aimé, et dites-lui également ce que vous avez ressenti. J'espère que ce fut une expérience amusante et excitante pour vous deux et que vous avez élargi votre répertoire sexuel. Si ce n'était pas génial pour l'un ou l'autre d'entre vous, décidez si vous êtes tous les deux prêts à réessayer à l'avenir ou si c'est une expérience pour les livres d'histoire.

 

Photos de poupées par Jamie Peters

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Avatar de Sabrina Rogers-Anderson

Sabrina est l'auteur de « Une vie sexuelle fantastique… et comment l'obtenir ! » Son travail a été publié dans de nombreux magazines imprimés et sites Web, notamment Women's Fitness, Men's Fitness, Men's Health, AskMen.com, Good Health, Australian Women's Weekly, body+soul, Runner's World, Kidspot, ninemsn Health & Wellbeing, FHM (mensuel colonne « Demandez à Sabrina »), MAXIM, Ralph, Eat Fit et ZOO Weekly.

Reader Discussion: 132 Comments

  1. Avatar of Jimmie

    Jimmie

    I think one of the biggest fantasies women have is to have a man that can and will communicate with her on a physical level on an emotional level and know how to make her feel loved and heard. It seems like today very few men know how to do just that.

  2. Avatar of Jimmie

    Jimmie

    Passer à autre chose n’est pas assez mature.

  3. Avatar of Jimmie

    My fantasy is to have a nice lady in the middle of a lake floating on a air bed oiling her down from head to toe to make sure she does not get a sunburn. And then she returns the favor. Of course we cannot have Tan Lines clothes are forbidden. And we can work the oil into each other. You can use your imagination for the rest

  4. Avatar of Jimmie

    If you want some good advice to this goes both this is for both ways men and women. You have to teach your mate what you what and how you like it. Don’t be afraid to speak up and tell them exactly what you want and how to do it if you do not do this your sexual life will never be fulfilled never fake it EVER!!! If you fake it you are doing a disservice to yourself

  5. Avatar of Jimmie

    One of the many things I enjoy very much. Is the art of cunnilingus, I am like a person on crack when it comes to cunnilingus and I’m looking for a woman that can be my cunnilingus dealer anytime I want it.

  6. Avatar of Jimmie

    To anyone that may be confused about fantasies. Fantasies are a good way to bond with your partner as long as they’re consensual. They will help you build a deeper understanding of each other and it builds trust. They are very normal everybody has them. But only the bold lovers fulfill them.

  7. Avatar of Jimmie

    As a prior commenter to the column. I will tell you about another adventure that I experienced. I was at a local bar celebrating a friends birthday party. I started talking to this voluptuous beautiful lady. After a few drinks we decided to leave the boring party. After talking about many things that interested us and different experiences that we’ve had it was already dark so we decided to drive to the lake. It was very cold so she decided to go swimming very unusual lady but I could tell she loved the water she wanted this to be a fantasy moment, she took her clothes off and waited out until she was in water about wast deep. I could see her big breast glistening in the moonlight from the water dripping off them. I was very reluctant about going in the freezing water but I ventured out anyway. She knew that I could not get a hard-on in this freezing water. And I believe she did that on purpose. Because she wanted to see what I could do. I made my way out to her and the freezing water. About that time a park ranger walked up and shined his flashlight right up on us and told us to come out of the water. After coming up out of the water we both grabbed our clothes and got dressed. The park ranger asked us what we was doing there I just simply said we wanted to take a swim and we didn’t have our swimsuits. He then replied I’m going to run a background check on it both of you if either one of you have anything on you I’m taking both of you in. I looked at her not even knowing what her first name was and I asked her if she had anything on her any outstanding warrants she said no nothing and I said I don’t either the park ranger found nothing on either one and told us to leave the park so we did what a crazy night one I will always remember.

  8. Avatar of Jimmie

    Let me share one experience I was young I was 20 years old. Still living at home looking for my own place. Wanting to go to college but do not have the money working on tuition. I was still having fun going to local parties with my high school friends. And one of the parties I met a really nice high energy very charismatic young lady. After conversing for a while we decided the party was too boring. So we decided to take a drive and see if we could find something more exciting. We wound up going to the city park were they also had a public pool it was closed but the gate was unlocked I tried to talk her into going for a Moonlight swim. But the water was very chilly so we decided not to. So we’ve started to walk around the park and we reached the back side of the park where we could see the road and parking lot. We sat down on the backside of the Hill. And begin to talk it was kind of chilly out so we’ve set very close to each other. We were touching from our knees all the way up to our lips we was sharing body heat. As things progressed. I casually mentioned her other set of lips must be getting jealous. We cannot have that. After a few more minutes of delicate touches and warm lips . She help me remove her pants allowing me to massage and caress the rest of her beautiful body. Starting to get excited very excited. As her body began to tremble the police drove up in a parking lot. We were laying low all the backside of a small hill barely out of sight. I quickly right up leaves to cover the top of her head where if they searched they would not see us if we were lucky. They looked all around the pool area that could not see anything how about that time one of them started walking out to the park. I was in full motion licking her clitoris. She was in such ecstasy say she could not hardly be quiet. I whispered in her ear the police are here looking around at that time she looked up and seen a flash light scanning in the woods just over our heads. I wanted to give her a orgasm. I refuse to quit i put my hand over her mouth and I whispered in her ear to be very still and don’t make a sound. I continued arousing her in her fear and excitement . Than her body began to shake very hard and I can hear her straining with everything she had trying not to make a sound watching her body quiver is she clenched her fists trying to be quiet. Police officer scanned one last time did not see anything returning to his patrol car they drove away. I removed my hand and I gave her the satisfaction she’s so craved. Ever since that night I knew I had a gift and I have been enjoying it ever since I’m still looking to have fun I never did get married but now I’m in a place in life where I can have fun and enjoy the people that I’m with I can’t but I only speculate and wonder if she has had a good life I may have missed my one true love I don’t know . But what I really want out of life is just one good woman that I can love with all of my might. Still looking…..True story

  9. Avatar of Tracey Pierce

    Tracey Pierce

    It’s true. It’s okay to tell your partner about your fantasies, but there are things that you shouldn’t tell them. If you know that your fantasy involves another character, make it a secret because it might hurt your partner.

  10. Avatar of Marie Hunt

    Marie Hunt

    I have an open mind, but sometimes, it’s hard to accept what they are wishing. IT takes time, especially if you know that your wish is hard to give. ?

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