Let’s face it, ladies. After the sexy honeymoon phase and the initial butterflies, the dynamics in a relationship are bound to change with time. The longer you remain in a relationship, the more likely you are to hit a point where he (or she) takes you for granted.
No need to freak out just yet though. This isn’t reason enough to assume that he doesn’t love you anymore. Rather, his behavior may simply indicate that he views you as a staple in his life, someone he knows he can count on. Your job, however, is to remind him that even if you are, it doesn’t excuse him from putting in effort to make you feel valued.
To prevent the relationship from further cementing itself into a monotonous routine, give these first-hand tips a try:
1) Change it up
Do you feel like he (or she) isn’t putting any effort into the relationship? His (probably subconscious) reasoning for why he acts the way he does can most likely be attributed to the fact that your routine with him has already been set. For example, you may meet on the same evenings or days each week, get take-out from the same restaurant and watch the same shows on Hulu. While that may feel comfortable, it would be a surprise to find anyone who wouldn’t get bored with the regularity of never-changing plans.
Try suggesting new places to eat, spend an evening outdoors, go to a concert, or get a group of friends together. Aim to do something new or different once every week or week and a half. Make a pact to surprise each other at least once a month with secret and romantic date night plans.
2) Comunicar
Geralmente, como regra geral, é encorajado dar espaço aos homens, pelo menos no início do namoro. etapas e permitir que eles façam a maior parte do planejamento e execução. Permita que ele tome a iniciativa e siga seu próprio ritmo. Se você está sempre liderando ou planejando coisas, isso pode definir o padrão para o resto do relacionamento/namoro e, eventualmente, fazer com que você se sinta um dado adquirido.
Embora seja importante que ele saiba como você se sente, faça questão de lembrá-lo de que os relacionamentos exigem esforço de ambas as partes, não apenas de uma. Não é aceitável que ele pense ou aja como se pudesse simplesmente aparecer e não dedicar tempo para investir, cuidar ou planejar.
Tenha cuidado com a maneira como você aborda essa conversa - se ele (ou ela) sentir que está sendo atacado, é provável que fique na defensiva sobre como está agindo, em vez de ter a mente aberta.
3) Obtenha sua própria vida
Semelhante a mudar sua rotina, estar constantemente disponível para seu homem pode indiretamente dizer a ele que você sempre estará à disposição dele. Isso não significa que você nunca deva vê-lo ou que ele precise despencar em sua lista de prioridades, mas dar espaço um ao outro para fazerem suas próprias coisas também dará a vocês dois a chance de sentir falta um do outro e valorizar o tempo que vocês passam. passar juntos.
Já faz algum tempo que você não se encontra com suas amigas? Quando foi a última vez que você pôde se mimar com um pouco de TLC?
Os relacionamentos mais saudáveis que conheço são aqueles que valorizam a forma como o tempo é gasto, tanto separados quanto juntos. Estar em um relacionamento ou ser casado não significa que ambos se fundam em uma pessoa ou que se percam na outra. Você está destinado a ação suas vidas juntos, não sejam ditados por isso.
Mas apesar de todas essas sugestões, que são boas para qualquer relacionamento, se um cara não dá valor a você, talvez seja simplesmente hora de seguir em frente e encontrar alguém que não…
So what are you gonna say about a lady who takes her man for granted by starving him of sex, claiming she doesn’t enjoy it but still claiming that she loves him??
Keep each one's independence. Always make sure you have time for yourself (alone or with your own set of friends) and give him his time (to spend alone or with his set of friends).
Any guy that you have to do this stuff for isn't worth anything. A guy who's really into you won't want you to be aloof. He certainly won't take you for granted. He'll want to spend all his time with you. If a guy's taking you for granted now, it'll only get worse later. Get out while you can!
I actually have to agree with you on this! I was dating a guy who I gave plenty of space and I have even been unavailable to him from time to time (because no one is ALWAYS available) and he STILL treated me like this. So I got rid of him and dumped him. This isn’t about you and what you need to do more or less of, it’s about a man who is choosing not to choose you…PERIOD. He has made it up in his mind (for whatever reason that doesn’t matter) that you aren’t important enough for him. Sure, he may regret it, because most men really don’t know what they have until it’s gone but it doesn’t change the fact that he didn’t see you as a priority. Men know that if you want a women you have to work to keep her around. They are not dumb! A man who isn’t working doesn’t care if you are around or not.
Before marriage, men always do “special” and “out of the box” surprises. But after marriage, they’re all gone. And most of the time, men tend to do things that will make us suspicious (whether they’re conscious about it or not).
I personally think that after marriage, the element of surprise is gone. A couple going out on a date always try to surprise each other, after marriage this is somehow lost. Familiarity breeds boredom. So learn to change routines!
EXACTLY!! I particular dislike when people get into relationships and only surround their life around their spouse. Yes you guys are in a relationship but have your own life too. Do things by yourself, go out, meet up with your friends you haven't spoke to in years. Have your own hobbies. Spending time away from your spouse makes you guys actually miss each other more.
Love this!
Men always say they hate it when women become manipulative but most of the time, it’s THEM that force us to be manipulative.
When a guy takes me for granted, I go out a lot at night with my girlfriends. It usually works! The guys I date will come crawling back. I guess it’s because men are naturally competitive and territorial. So when they feel as though their “property” is slipping out of their hands, they will hold on to it.
I totally agree with you! I used to be my boyfriend’s “doormat” (if I may claim), but when I started flirting with other men and he found out, the tables turned. LOL!
Great Points!!! A month ago, I felt I’m being taken for granted. I communicated the matter (my feelings) with my partner and now I can already see that things are getting better.
You did well. That’s always useful to communicate. But also I think you should keep your own secret garden and never change a time you were supposed to spend with yourself for something else because you’re in a relationship 🙂