How To Avoid Being Taken For Granted - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog


How To Avoid Being Taken For Granted

He still loves you. Here’s how to get him to show it.


Let’s face it, ladies. After the sexy honeymoon phase and the initial butterflies, the dynamics in a relationship are bound to change with time. The longer you remain in a relationship, the more likely you are to hit a point where he (or she) takes you for granted.

How To Avoid Being Taken For Granted

The honeymoon phase won’t last forever…. unless you put effort in!

No need to freak out just yet though. This isn’t reason enough to assume that he doesn’t love you anymore. Rather, his behavior may simply indicate that he views you as a staple in his life, someone he knows he can count on. Your job, however, is to remind him that even if you are, it doesn’t excuse him from putting in effort to make you feel valued.

To prevent the relationship from further cementing itself into a monotonous routine, give these first-hand tips a try:

1) Change it up

Do you feel like he (or she) isn’t putting any effort into the relationship? His (probably subconscious) reasoning for why he acts the way he does can most likely be attributed to the fact that your routine with him has already been set. For example, you may meet on the same evenings or days each week, get take-out from the same restaurant and watch the same shows on Hulu. While that may feel comfortable, it would be a surprise to find anyone who wouldn’t get bored with the regularity of never-changing plans.

How To Avoid Being Taken For Granted

Try suggesting new places to eat, spend an evening outdoors, go to a concert, or get a group of friends together. Aim to do something new or different once every week or week and a half. Make a pact to surprise each other at least once a month with secret and romantic date night plans.

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Sarah enlightens us on a daily basis with the newest trends as (and often before) they transpire. She is the consummate globe trotter. Having traveled to over 70 countries, she earns her living writing, blogging ( and modeling while on the road. In her spare time she gets manicures, suntans on yachts in Greece, shops for even more shoes, and lives in the limelight. She loves photography, elephants, sailboats, bangles and ballet flats.

Reader Discussion: 197 Comments

  1. Keep each one's independence. Always make sure you have time for yourself (alone or with your own set of friends) and give him his time (to spend alone or with his set of friends).

  2. Any guy that you have to do this stuff for isn't worth anything. A guy who's really into you won't want you to be aloof. He certainly won't take you for granted. He'll want to spend all his time with you. If a guy's taking you for granted now, it'll only get worse later. Get out while you can!

    • Jessie Jay

      I actually have to agree with you on this! I was dating a guy who I gave plenty of space and I have even been unavailable to him from time to time (because no one is ALWAYS available) and he STILL treated me like this. So I got rid of him and dumped him. This isn’t about you and what you need to do more or less of, it’s about a man who is choosing not to choose you…PERIOD. He has made it up in his mind (for whatever reason that doesn’t matter) that you aren’t important enough for him. Sure, he may regret it, because most men really don’t know what they have until it’s gone but it doesn’t change the fact that he didn’t see you as a priority. Men know that if you want a women you have to work to keep her around. They are not dumb! A man who isn’t working doesn’t care if you are around or not.

  3. Joanne Samonte

    Before marriage, men always do “special” and “out of the box” surprises. But after marriage, they’re all gone. And most of the time, men tend to do things that will make us suspicious (whether they’re conscious about it or not).

  4. Hannah Mayers

    I personally think that after marriage, the element of surprise is gone. A couple going out on a date always try to surprise each other, after marriage this is somehow lost. Familiarity breeds boredom. So learn to change routines!

  5. EXACTLY!! I particular dislike when people get into relationships and only surround their life around their spouse. Yes you guys are in a relationship but have your own life too. Do things by yourself, go out, meet up with your friends you haven't spoke to in years. Have your own hobbies. Spending time away from your spouse makes you guys actually miss each other more.

  6. Jen Spillane

    Love this!

  7. Ansley Barrington

    Men always say they hate it when women become manipulative but most of the time, it’s THEM that force us to be manipulative.

  8. Francis Woods

    When a guy takes me for granted, I go out a lot at night with my girlfriends. It usually works! The guys I date will come crawling back. I guess it’s because men are naturally competitive and territorial. So when they feel as though their “property” is slipping out of their hands, they will hold on to it.

    • Courtney Watson

      I totally agree with you! I used to be my boyfriend’s “doormat” (if I may claim), but when I started flirting with other men and he found out, the tables turned. LOL!

  9. Sarah Evanston

    Great Points!!! A month ago, I felt I’m being taken for granted. I communicated the matter (my feelings) with my partner and now I can already see that things are getting better.

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