Let’s face it, ladies. After the sexy honeymoon phase and the initial butterflies, the dynamics in a relationship are bound to change with time. The longer you remain in a relationship, the more likely you are to hit a point where he (or she) takes you for granted.
No need to freak out just yet though. This isn’t reason enough to assume that he doesn’t love you anymore. Rather, his behavior may simply indicate that he views you as a staple in his life, someone he knows he can count on. Your job, however, is to remind him that even if you are, it doesn’t excuse him from putting in effort to make you feel valued.
To prevent the relationship from further cementing itself into a monotonous routine, give these first-hand tips a try:
1) Change it up
Do you feel like he (or she) isn’t putting any effort into the relationship? His (probably subconscious) reasoning for why he acts the way he does can most likely be attributed to the fact that your routine with him has already been set. For example, you may meet on the same evenings or days each week, get take-out from the same restaurant and watch the same shows on Hulu. While that may feel comfortable, it would be a surprise to find anyone who wouldn’t get bored with the regularity of never-changing plans.
Try suggesting new places to eat, spend an evening outdoors, go to a concert, or get a group of friends together. Aim to do something new or different once every week or week and a half. Make a pact to surprise each other at least once a month with secret and romantic date night plans.
2) Communicate
Generally, as a rule of thumb, it’s encouraged to give men space, at least in the early dating stages, and allow them to do most of the planning and pursuing. Allow him take the initiative and go at his own pace. If you’re always leading or planning things, this might set the pattern for the rest of the relationship/courtship and eventually leave you feeling taken for granted.
Though it’s important to let him know how you feel, make it a point to remind him how relationships require effort from both parties, not just one. It’s not acceptable for him to think or act like he can just show up and not take the time to invest, care, or plan.
Be careful of the way you approach this conversation — if he (or she) feels like he is being attacked, it is likely that he’ll get defensive about how he’s been acting, rather than open-minded.
3) Get your own life
Similar to changing your routine, constantly being available to your man can indirectly tell him that you’ll always be there at his beck-and-call. This doesn’t mean that you should never see him or that he needs to plummet on your list of priorities, but giving each other the space to do your own thing will also give you both the chance to miss each other and value the time you spend together.
Has it been awhile since you met with your girlfriends? When was the last time you were able to pamper yourself with some TLC?
The healthiest relationships I know are the ones that value how time is spent, both apart and together. Being in a relationship or being married doesn’t mean that you both fuse into one person or that you lose yourself in the other. You are meant to share your lives together, not be dictated by it.
But despite all these suggestions, which are good for any relationship, if a guy is taking you for granted, maybe it’s simply time to move on and find someone who won’t…
I make sure I know what many guy wants, but not to the point that I spoil him with everything. It’s simply to show that I want him to be happy, too, and that he’s not the only one who gives. Even if he doesn’t return in kind, at least he knows that he needs to do something too to make our relationship a bit more exciting.
When men lose interest, this is what usually happens… It’s not all the time that this can be corrected. It’s true that most of the time, it just needs to end.?
I always show how grateful I am with my husband. It makes him feel very much appreciated with his efforts. In return, he makes sure that everything he does has some little extra. It’s like a booster shot for him, creating positive vibes for the both of us.
It’s a plus when your expression of gratitude focuses on the person, so they feel better about themselves.
Saying “thank you” should be done on a regular basis and must be heartfelt.
I think relationships that are meant to work doesn’t require “forcing” effort.? Effort comes naturally when you’re willing to do it. But if the willingness isn’t present, it will be hard.
My boyfriend and I aren’t always together but we always find the time to hangout. We do grow as individuals even though we’re both in love and the efforts never cease.
It’s not neglect, I suppose. But I agree that it is necessary to initiate change in your daily activities, so you don’t do the same things over and over again that can make you unsatisfied with your relationship. And a little for him will not hurt, too.
Just don’t neglect yourself. If you have to hit the gym to maintain your figure, do it! If you need a make-over for a dinner date, go! Don’t think that just because he’s comfortable with your look, it’s ok to look like you came out of the cave.
I was taken for granted before but I left the relationship after a few tries. I think if the person really loves you, you don’t ever have to feel something like this.
If I show this to my boyfriend, he’ll think that he is taking me for granted and that our relationship has a problem.
Being too good will get you treated that way. Sucking up get’s you a round trip ticket for being mistreated at work. I suggest just doing your work cooperate with your team and let your work speak for its self.