女性の問題
女性は男性よりも自己主張が弱いのでしょうか?
…or are social expectations messing with our minds?
I study English at NYU, which means that my lecture halls are filled with twenty girls for every three or four guys. And yet, during class discussions, the vast majority of the comments were made by the guys.
それは女子側に賢さが欠けているからではありません。ほとんどの女子がうなずいたり、メモに書き加えたりしているのが見えました。あたかも会話に参加することはできるが、発言したくなかったように見えました。 私もその気持ちはよくわかります。私は学生生活のほとんどを、手をしっかり上げずに過ごしてきました。
私は攻撃的ではない性格のため、男性は女性よりも自己主張が強いという一般的な思い込みに疑問を抱いたことはありません。 私の男性の同僚は、自分の欲しいものを手に入れるために自分自身を主張したり、攻撃的な戦術を使用したりすることにいつも抵抗がないように見えますが、私のガールフレンドのほとんどは恥ずかしがり屋なアプローチを取る傾向があります。 したがって、「男性は通常、女性よりも攻撃的である」という主張は、私にとってはかなり公平に思えました。
シャイ？ それともただ社会によって条件づけられているだけでしょうか？
少なくとも、私が出会うまではそうでした研究 それはそうではないことを示唆しています。 その結果、人々は男性が女性よりも攻撃的になるだろうと予測していたが、それは通常の状況では真実だった。 しかし、研究者たちが「個性のない参加者が社会的役割の影響を受けずに行動できる環境（集団内での自己認識の喪失として一般に考えられている社会心理学における概念）では、女性も男性と同様に攻撃的でした。 つまり、社会的な期待が脇に置かれると、女性はより自由に自分自身を主張できるようになります。
私たちは生まれながらにして自己主張的ですが、代わりに控えめになるよう促す社会の圧力に屈してしまいます。
The results of the study have clear implications. If women only feel free to be assertive in a deindividuated setting, that means women have the potential to be assertive, but are shut down by perceived social expectations. It makes sense: girls are more frequently taught to be prim and modest, while boys are liberated to be aggressive as kids through the mantra “boys will be boys.”
In many ways, we haven’t quite lost the idea of women as the fairer sex, and it’s reflected in the way we’re expected to behave.
Anne Hathaway’s character learns to stand up for herself, from arguably the most assertive woman in fashion
Take negotiating salaries, for example. Women are generally less likely than men to negotiate a raise, but what if that’s only because we feel we can’t be as assertive? Perhaps we’re afraid of being portrayed as bitchy?
Sandra Bullock’s character is assertive in The Proposal
A study found that women negotiate just effectively as men when speaking for a friend. That means women naturally have the necessary skills to negotiate well — even without practice.
The problem comes from our fear of asserting our own skills and exuding self-confidence. Over and over, we’re sent subliminal messaging that women exist to be seen and not heard. Once again, we are perfectly capable of being assertive, but submit to societal pressures encouraging us to be demure instead.
The good news is, you can use that information to your advantage. Next time you’re struggling to negotiate for yourself, try faking it ’till you make it. Pretend you’re advocating for a close friend. It’ll make it easier to assert your strengths if you silence your self-critic and step away from social expectations by approaching yourself as you would someone else.
When social expectations are set aside, women feel freer to assert themselves.
We have to kill this assumption that women can’t assert themselves. The widespread misconception is an attempt to silence women in the workplace and in our personal lives, and in response we have to make ourselves heard. In the end, there’s only one way to stop this notion that women can’t be aggressive: we all have to prove it wrong.
Do you ever struggle to assert yourself? How do you overcome it? Let us know in the comments!
Kathy Sannn
I learned from a public speaking class that men tend to be assertive when it comes to talking because their voice is naturally loud and it helps in getting people’s attention when they speak. Whereas women tend to be soft spoken at times and they really have to force the volume of their voice in order to get people’s attention (sometimes). Anyway, I learned that women should atleast mimic that monotone and loud booming voice in order to ace public speaking. I think the same goes with speaking to someone but yeah, no yelling.
Cecilia White
This is a myth that women lack in assertiveness. Whoever said that lives in the old ways.
Mary Judah
I teach my daughter how to balance her assertiveness. I teach her how to speak her mind and at the same time filter the things that she speaks about. Just like the idea of freedom of speech, you can’t always speak your mind without thinking if it can affect other people negatively. It’s the same thing with being assertive. You can’t always keep asserting when you’re not in the right place to assert. We need to teach things to be kind yet know how to fight back.
Rachael McAlister
Kudos to you as a parent. Balance is very hard to teach and I totally agree with this. Raising a kid that’s sympathetic and at the same time a fighter.
Kathy Hinojo
Let’s encourage more parents to raise strong women.
Jamie Baldwin
There’s a lot of misconception about being assertive. People assume we want to be dominant when in fact, we just want to speak our mind.?
Tara Neel
This only shows one thing: men are the ones who easily blurt out some BS, while women listen and think about what is being said. Ergo, men make more mistakes than we do.
Kathy
All you have to do is be firm, girl! No need to be rude or anything. Just make sure you get what you want.
Kelly Bretz
Yes, we can be aggresive too! That doesn’t mean that we are pushy or insisting! We only want to feel heard and respected in equal proportions with men!
Elizabeth King
Men can really take pride in what they talk about and I think their voice also has something to do with being assertive.
Belinda Campbell
Social constructs such as gender-roles are important for our own survival, I believe. I can’t think of a world where everyone gets to do what everyone can, without limits or expectations. If that would be the case, assigning genders on birth is not necessary anymore.
Wendy Rice
No, you are wrong. I think that social expectations are the hindrance to empowering women and results to backwardness of humanity.
Leah Payne
If you think you deserve something, fight for it. I think being assertive can be understood in different levels. I think letting opportunities pass just because you don’t like asserting yourself can become a problem, especially in the workplace. Raise is a very important thing to take note of especially if you think you need an upgrade in your career and you think you deserve it. Being assertive is a must in certain areas of your life and you have to learn it so you can go further.?