Everyone has times when they don’t feel like their best, most attractive or confident selves. Working through difficult times like these can actually make you stronger and more confident in the long run. When you’re in the middle of one of these stretches, it can be difficult to know how to work your way out of it. If this sounds familiar to you, try some of these tips to boost your confidence:
Change Your Appearance
Looking good can greatly increase your confidence. While you don’t need to drastically alter your appearance, simply taking a shower, shaving, putting on makeup and dressing nicely can help you feel ready to start that day. Again, this doesn’t mean you need to buy designer or expensive clothing, it just means dress for the situation (or even overdress a little) to help you feel special.
Another idea is to change up your style. If you’ve had the same hair color for ages, try changing it (you can do it yourself at home). Try some new up-do’s. Even just changing your makeup routine (hello, red lipstick!) or your shoe choice can give you a little boost.
Stop Reading Print Magazines
Studies show that women feel crummy about themselves, and their long-term self-esteem suffers, when they read print magazines. Looking at Photoshopped photos of models gets even models feeling less attractive, because even though we may consciously know that the images are fantasy, our subconscious brain still picks up on the harmful messaging; that we must look flawless, skinny and sultry if we expect to be loveable and sexy. And it’s all in an effort to sell us more products we really don’t need.
So don’t listen. Better yet — don’t expose your brain to that messaging at all; read online blogs or indie magazines, like Urbanette, instead.
Be Grateful
It’s easy to get fixated on the things you want rather than being thankful for what you already have. This often leads you to focus on your weaknesses as a person rather than your strengths.
One way to reorganize your thought process is to write down three things you are grateful for and why each day. These things don’t need to be groundbreaking gratitudes, but rather small victories such as the sunny sky overhead or the cup of coffee you grabbed with a friend. Remembering to focus on the positive things in your life helps you rediscover your confidence in a real way.
Try Meditation
This might seem a little too new age for some people, but true self-confidence is all about self-awareness. If you become more aware of your feelings and why you are having those specific feelings, it is easier to accept the things you cannot change and be confident to affect the things you can.
One of the objectives during meditation is to observe yourself and surroundings without judgement. You can’t avoid or make something happen during meditation, nor are you trying to. Just sit quietly and observe (and let go of) your thoughts as a third party. Through a more thorough understanding of yourself, you can acknowledge both your strengths and weaknesses, without judgement. This eventually leads to inner calm and confidence — I promise!
Exercise
Physical activity can burn off some of your pent up emotions. Going to the gym, joining a sports team or doing any sort of regular exercise can get your body in shape and improve your mental health. Getting in a rhythm of working out also creates positive momentum and something for you to build on. The more you work out, the more you’ll want to work out. And you just might make some new friends while you’re at it.
Where meditation is all about internal and mental results, working out is all about the external, something you can see in the mirror as well as feel in your energy levels.
Think Positive
When it comes to self-confidence, your thoughts can be your best friends or your worst enemies. It’s important to remember that your emotions mirror your thoughts. So, if you are focusing on negative thoughts, you’re more likely to feel sad or angry.
It is up to you to decide which thoughts are helpful, positive ones, and which are harmful. By discarding the negative thoughts, you will be able to focus on being productive and feeling confident.
What do you do when you’re feeling down, to make yourself feel better?
I could not agree more, Hilary. This is an article that I wanted to write myself. I just found as if i have been reborn, This is an amazing advise. The habit of writing down things you are grateful for makes it easier to appreciate the positive parts of life. I think we all need to be reminded of this often.
I imagine that the ability to construe a negative situation as more positive is a learnable skill. I wish I could carry this article with me 24/7. My heart feels light and joyful after reading this. Thanks so much for this beautiful and practical approach to boost self confidence. I hope to apply it to my life.
I have been struggling lately with making myself stronger and I have to say I love this. I recently lost weight and have noticed now that I can take better care of myself and also take better care of others. I haven’t realized it till I read this. I will carry this this with me in my heart. Looking forward to more inspiration, thanks! ?
Thank you Hilary, I’m so grateful. The love, courage and wisdom you give and share is truly inspiring, so honest and true. You always seem to remind me of all I need to remember in the moment. Your guidance is precious. You light up everything! ???
I hope this article would change my life.
Thanks!
This is a very interesting and helpful site. Thanks a lot and i want to let you know that you have really done a great job. Your posts inspires me. It gave us motivation and eagerness to start believing in our self and show the world we can be confident. Good luck to all of us on building our confidence and have a better life.
This is exactly what I needed to read. So powerful and full of meaning. Thank you Hilary! 🙂
Thanks so much for this beautiful and practical approach to self respect and love. This is exactly what I needed, your post has brought me hope in trying to boost my confidence and love my self more. I will put those points on my Wall for me to see them everyday. I have come to realize that my main goal is to be confident and love myself. I’m now a blank canvas, ready and waiting for whatever is to come to arrive.
Something my ex-girlfriend taught me: Every morning, write down 5 things you have to be happy about, and 5 things you love about yourself. If you can stick to it every morning, it really helps!
My husband taught me about meditation. You can try a meditation DVD to get started, or check out http://www.tm.org. It actually works!