10 Things Every Girl Should Have Before Turning 30

Turning 30 was more than a milestone for me; it was a rite of passage. It meant I survived the beautiful mistakes and epic self-doubt of my 20s and was ready to move into bona fide “big girl” status. My 20s were a decade of wild nights, dating tragedies and learning, but 30 heralded the arrival of an evolved, ready-for-prime-time me. If you’re looking at 30 soon, you can make a smooth(er) transition by arming yourself with these essentials to a grown-up repertoire:

Essential #1: A Soul Sister

#Besties! Your 20s are more fun with a true best friend who shares your pain in hangovers and heartbreak. She wants you to be happy, loves you at your worst, tells you how it is and laughs alongside you when life gets rough. It’s a genuine two-sided friendship that’ll stand the test of time.

Essential #2: Confidence

If you have authentic confidence, you have power—power to grow in a career, fall in love, find strength in weakness and live happily. Confidence is palpable. It’s the consequence of emotionally healthy thinking and a positive support system. Experience cultivates confidence, but a girl can grow her confidence with a few challenges:

• Don’t overestimate others and underestimate yourself.
• Rely on logic to drive your thoughts.
• Quit jealously. It does you no good, and everybody has their own (often serious) issues you don’t know about and wouldn’t want.
• Find your own perception of beauty. Don’t buy into the narrow definition of ‘beauty’ that the media pushes; remember that it’s designed to make women insecure so they buy more beauty products.
• Simply: love yourself. Don’t let others into your inner circle who don’t love and respect you.

Essential #3: Your Own Sophisticated Style

A gal’s closet evolves throughout her 20s. Versatile pieces for the office start to take prominence over graphic urban T-shirts and denim cutoffs. Mixing and matching becomes the fashion objective, rather than short, tight and revealing. Welcome the days of carrying a designer messenger bag to work instead of your favorite clear iridescent backpack. Personal style is essential to a woman’s identity and creative self-expression, and is second only to her independence and convictions.

Essential #4: A Growing Savings Account

Saving is sexy. Even if you set aside $25 per paycheck, you’re practicing financial responsibility, and that’s hot. Building an emergency fund should be a budget priority. Give yourself the goal of saving 10 percent of each paycheck. If 10 percent is too steep, commit to actively saving what you can manage. As your funds grow, so will your dedication to healthy financial management.

Essential #5: A Luminary To Look Up To

From the worldly business success of Diane von Furstenberg to Brigitte Bardot’s enviable beauty, the accomplishments or famed attributes of a personal heroine can inspire and empower a girl on a quest of self-discovery. Your 20s are your learning years. You may have found yourself buckling under insecurities, making mistakes and getting lost a time or two. While enduring these years, a strong female role model can keep your spirit ablaze. Ask yourself who’s at the cornerstone of your admiration and passions? Make her the luminary of your 30s.

Essential #6: An Epic Birthday Bash

No one can control the changing digits of age, and 21 is certainly not the pinnacle of womanhood. Life’s too short to reproach every birthday nearing 29. So before decade three, make sure to turn at least one birthday into an all-out extravaganza that celebrates you. For my 30th, I was at a women’s shelter in Uganda, and I followed that up by spending a week in St. Barths with my best friends. After all, 30 was my most pivotal birthday!

Essential #7: Perspective

There are a two major things you can do that will be eye-opening and guaranteed to give you perspective. One is to travel to an impoverished area of the world, and see how other human beings are living on this planet we all share. The other is to watch videos of factory farms and go vegan, even if you start with only for one week a month. Both will open your heart and mind to the realities of the world and the part we all play in it.

Essential #8: Strength of Character

Often it’s the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self. Strength can emerge from weakness. A life challenge or crisis, from a breakup to a dying loved one, can actually unleash a “fiery will” that creates a disciplined and spirited strong sense of self. Authentic character is revealed during survival mode, and through pain you learn to forge ahead using effort and willpower. Our 20s are a time of deep mining to find who we are, and it’s in the upcoming decade you get to vibrantly be your true self.

Essential #9: A Notebook Full of Your Ideas & Adventures

Every woman’s soul burns with a passion, whether it’s to achieve success in her career or simply live with love. Document life lessons, ideas and dreams in a notebook and inspire yourself with your own written words. Anywhere you go, just inside your tote, lies a notebook to serve as your accessory for adventure and a creative partner that churns the imagination.

Essential #10: A “Quality Over Quantity” Approach

From friendships to fashion, a true sign of maturity is when you embrace the “quality over quantity” rule in more areas of your life. When it comes to fashion, try to minimize your accessories and make a single fierce statement with a watch that will carry you through your next decade.

As for friendships, cutting loose friends who are takers, who don’t have your back, or who don’t have integrity is an important step. Surrounding yourself with friends that have good values and are true-blue is one of the single most important things you can do to ensure your 30’s are the best decade yet.