Whether you think you’re kicking butt at work, or you are barely able to drag your butt out of bed each day, you’re likely making a mistake or two in the office that could cost you in the long run. Trying to get ahead in your career is tough enough without accidental self-sabotage!
The office environment is a hotbed for all sorts of pressure, and it doesn’t help that certain workplaces carry double standards that place extra loads on womens’ shoulders. While women in the workplace decades ago may have felt the need to mirror men to succeed, that’s no longer the case.
Suzanne Kleinberg, author of “From Playstation to Workstation,” shares her insights on workplace “dos” and “don’ts” in this exclusive article for Urbanette. Whether you’re just starting out or already in management, you should be cautious not to make these assumptions:
1. Using appearance to reflect your individuality
While every girl has her own personal style, knowing how to modify yours could be the difference between rejection and respect. You want people to notice your ideas and contributions, not your mid-thigh mole or bra color.
One of the worst blunders that young women make is wearing overly sexy clothing and excessive jewelry or makeup. You should always dress for the job you want, not the one you have! People’s respect for you will grow once they see you know how to respect yourself through your dress.
2. Thinking that passiveness = politeness
Many people make the mistake of submitting a résumé or business proposal and waiting to be called back. When they don’t hear back, they assume that they are rejected. Not true.
You need to follow-up with the recipient. This demonstrates initiative and confidence. Even if you get a rejection, at least you’ll know that you should move on. It may take a few attempts to get a response. Don’t be a nuisance, but do be persistent. On average, it takes 5-12 times to make a “sale” – most people stop at 3. Don’t lose out because you assume the worst!
3. Thinking that workplace rejection signifies that you’re unworthy
Women tend to take unfavorable responses as personal rejection. Rejection for a job or your project proposal is a decision based solely on business viability. Learn from it and move forward.
4. A little flirting never hurts… right?
The best way to alienate your coworkers is to act flirty. Do it and you’ll send a signal to everyone that you need to rely on your sexuality and not your intellect. Women will resent you, and men won’t respect you. You’ll be marginalized and denied career-building promotions.
5. Not volunteering
You can get the best work experiences and develop great networks through volunteering. Many charities are desperate for volunteers. This means that you may be able to get experiences that a paying job would never allow you. For example, you may start working at an animal shelter scooping litter boxes, but you may offer to help with fundraising, event planning, marketing or graphic design. These organizations can’t afford professionals and don’t require people to have experience to preform these tasks. Sure you won’t get paid, but you’ll get an opportunity to fulfill your graphic design aspirations, add more to your credentials, and build your resume.
6. Thinking that making more money will make you happier
Studies show that money in itself doesn’t lead to job satisfaction. For many people enjoying what they do and having a work/life balance is more important. When you enjoy your work, you excel at it and, as a result, your career benefits.
7. Thinking attaining power will make you more ‘masculine’
Over the years, TV has shown successful businesswomen in mannish suits, short hair and aggressive demeanors. Many women are subliminally influenced by these cues, and fear that as they move up the ladder, they’ll appear more masculine and, in their minds, less attractive. While women in the workplace decades ago may have felt the need to mirror men to succeed, that’s no longer the case. Femininity isn’t equated with weakness anymore.
8. Waiting for opportunities to come to you
Many people fear speaking up when they want something. They wait to be approached for a promotion before showing interest, minimizing their chances for success. If you’re ready for a promotion, more responsibility, or a raise, be proactive and approach your manager. Let him or her know that you’ve earned the opportunity. Leave the aggression and arrogance at the door, and present your case with confidence. Even if rejected, you’ll earn respect and consideration for the next opportunity.
9. Thinking that being liked = being respected
Studies have shown that young women have a stronger need than men to be seen as “likable.” Likability isn’t synonymous with respect. People who make congeniality a priority tend to be indecisive and submissive, which definitely won’t help in earning respect. You need to balance confidence, collaboration, decisiveness and openness. Don’t be a pushover just because you fear stepping on toes.
10. Thinking that nice girls never say no
Many women bring their nurturing side to work and end up taking on too many tasks. While being a team player and feeling needed is gratifying, too many duties will result in failure with a lot of them. Learn your limit and when (and how) to say no.
The workplace is a place of great opportunities, but can be filled with barriers too. Believe in yourself, keep your eyes open for new opportunities and remember to enjoy what you do and where you are headed!
I don’t mind dressing corporately but high heels are my downfall. I really can’t find the “best pair ever” that doesn’t make me wobble when I walk. This is a big problem for me because shoes can really create a big change on how an outfit looks overall.
How can I even volunteer when I’m already dead tired after work? My weekends usually consist of just sleeping and resting all day. I sometimes feel like I’m ready to kill anyone who messes up my sleep.
Dressing sexily at work is just annoying. Nobody likes it when you have to keep pulling your skirt down just so your undies doesn’t show.?
Also when ladies keep raising their neck line just so their bras don’t show!
I’d say yes to feminism and all that jazz that comes along with it, but let’s just say not every woman can prove that we don’t have to mirror men in terms of power. I used to work for a company that was run by 3 sisters and 1 brother. The 3 sisters had the highest ranking and the brother had another company but let’s just say that he’s an outside client that has a say, whenever the 3 sisters were out of town. In my experience, I would rather get my approvals from their brother because he’s better at decision making. Whenever I would ask the 3 sisters for my approval, they would change their mind almost every week to the point that the staff are mostly wasting their time over approvals that were meant to be done ages ago. Women are known to be indicisive and it even manifests in the work place.
I sometimes feel like I’m living a double life in the office. I’m all about shorts and t-shirts, but when I’m at work, I’m wearing skirts and dresses with blazers. That doesn’t mean that I’m not being real about who I am, it’s just that I’m aware that professional life should be different from my out of office life just for the sake of being professional. It’s just clothing, guys. It’s not about being fake.
Let’s just be mere humans in the workplace. Not men, not women. That way, we’re likely to assume better roles and the company can get what they’re paying for!
You can’t have everything in life. I honestly think that there’s no such thing as work-life-balance because you always have to sacrifice one thing for the other. You just have to know what your priorities are and… Of course, prioritize it. I’m currently earning a decent amount of money, but I can’t really say that I’m rich or that I’m able to purchase everything I need. Money is bound to run out either way. But then I can spend a lot of time with my family and be able to enjoy life, if not to the fullest, so I can say that I still have a good life. But then with the rise of commodity prices, my priorities are also bound to change in the future. That maybe I’d have to prioritize money more than anything else. While I don’t really want that for myself because I’m not wired to live life like that, the demand of responsibilities is always bigger than our wants or desires.
I agree with you. However, there are lucky people out there who are earning so much while having the time of their lives. Maybe we just have to be given better opportunities!
Flirts in the office should just be fired. Women who don’t do it find it degrading because it makes men think that we’re all like that. Not all of us are willing to get down and dirty at work.
Stop trying to please people at work. Just do everything that you can in order to do what you’re required to do. Stop trying to prioritize your colleagues over anything else. Sure, they’re your friends at some point but they shouldn’t hinder you in achieving success.?
This is so funny because the workplace can really be a plate for corporate hoes. I’m not even kidding, even those who aren’t pretty will be inching their way up to the bosses by acting flirty. Didn’t get them anywhere other than the boss asking them to bring him coffee and nothing else. Let’s stop this because it marginalizes all women and it creates a stereotype that most women aren’t really smart and they just flirt their way through success. Keep things strictly professional in the workplace no matter who you talk to.