Whether you think you’re kicking butt at work, or you are barely able to drag your butt out of bed each day, you’re likely making a mistake or two in the office that could cost you in the long run. Trying to get ahead in your career is tough enough without accidental self-sabotage!
The office environment is a hotbed for all sorts of pressure, and it doesn’t help that certain workplaces carry double standards that place extra loads on womens’ shoulders. While women in the workplace decades ago may have felt the need to mirror men to succeed, that’s no longer the case.
Suzanne Kleinberg, author of “From Playstation to Workstation,” shares her insights on workplace “dos” and “don’ts” in this exclusive article for Urbanette. Whether you’re just starting out or already in management, you should be cautious not to make these assumptions:
1. Using appearance to reflect your individuality
While every girl has her own personal style, knowing how to modify yours could be the difference between rejection and respect. You want people to notice your ideas and contributions, not your mid-thigh mole or bra color.
One of the worst blunders that young women make is wearing overly sexy clothing and excessive jewelry or makeup. You should always dress for the job you want, not the one you have! People’s respect for you will grow once they see you know how to respect yourself through your dress.
2. Thinking that passiveness = politeness
Many people make the mistake of submitting a résumé or business proposal and waiting to be called back. When they don’t hear back, they assume that they are rejected. Not true.
You need to follow-up with the recipient. This demonstrates initiative and confidence. Even if you get a rejection, at least you’ll know that you should move on. It may take a few attempts to get a response. Don’t be a nuisance, but do be persistent. On average, it takes 5-12 times to make a “sale” – most people stop at 3. Don’t lose out because you assume the worst!
3. Thinking that workplace rejection signifies that you’re unworthy
Women tend to take unfavorable responses as personal rejection. Rejection for a job or your project proposal is a decision based solely on business viability. Learn from it and move forward.
4. A little flirting never hurts… right?
The best way to alienate your coworkers is to act flirty. Do it and you’ll send a signal to everyone that you need to rely on your sexuality and not your intellect. Women will resent you, and men won’t respect you. You’ll be marginalized and denied career-building promotions.
5. Not volunteering
You can get the best work experiences and develop great networks through volunteering. Many charities are desperate for volunteers. This means that you may be able to get experiences that a paying job would never allow you. For example, you may start working at an animal shelter scooping litter boxes, but you may offer to help with fundraising, event planning, marketing or graphic design. These organizations can’t afford professionals and don’t require people to have experience to preform these tasks. Sure you won’t get paid, but you’ll get an opportunity to fulfill your graphic design aspirations, add more to your credentials, and build your resume.
6. Thinking that making more money will make you happier
Studies show that money in itself doesn’t lead to job satisfaction. For many people enjoying what they do and having a work/life balance is more important. When you enjoy your work, you excel at it and, as a result, your career benefits.
7. Thinking attaining power will make you more ‘masculine’
Over the years, TV has shown successful businesswomen in mannish suits, short hair and aggressive demeanors. Many women are subliminally influenced by these cues, and fear that as they move up the ladder, they’ll appear more masculine and, in their minds, less attractive. While women in the workplace decades ago may have felt the need to mirror men to succeed, that’s no longer the case. Femininity isn’t equated with weakness anymore.
8. Waiting for opportunities to come to you
Many people fear speaking up when they want something. They wait to be approached for a promotion before showing interest, minimizing their chances for success. If you’re ready for a promotion, more responsibility, or a raise, be proactive and approach your manager. Let him or her know that you’ve earned the opportunity. Leave the aggression and arrogance at the door, and present your case with confidence. Even if rejected, you’ll earn respect and consideration for the next opportunity.
9. Thinking that being liked = being respected
Studies have shown that young women have a stronger need than men to be seen as “likable.” Likability isn’t synonymous with respect. People who make congeniality a priority tend to be indecisive and submissive, which definitely won’t help in earning respect. You need to balance confidence, collaboration, decisiveness and openness. Don’t be a pushover just because you fear stepping on toes.
10. Thinking that nice girls never say no
Many women bring their nurturing side to work and end up taking on too many tasks. While being a team player and feeling needed is gratifying, too many duties will result in failure with a lot of them. Learn your limit and when (and how) to say no.
The workplace is a place of great opportunities, but can be filled with barriers too. Believe in yourself, keep your eyes open for new opportunities and remember to enjoy what you do and where you are headed!
I’m not a flirt or anything, but for some reason, I probably have sex appeal. I always end up getting harassed in the office by men who think I’m flirting even though I’m simply talking to them and being polite. When I try to ignore them, they now think I’m snobbish and that I’m too entitled. I don’t know where to stand and as much as I don’t even want to care about the opinions of others in the workplace, even my women colleagues are buzzing about how every man in the office wants me and that they think I’m such a flirt for it. In all honesty, I’m not that type of girl. But everyone has their own stories to tell. I’m so close to passing my resignation. I don’t even have friends in the office anymore because all of them is talking behind my back! I just want to fucking work, people!
Believe it or not, men can gossip twice as much as women can. So you really have to watch your back especially with men. They are prone to spreading rumors, especially if you reject them and show little to no interest. The nexy day, the dude you ignored will be telling everybody that you kissed him. Which is pathetic, but it really happens.
I’m scared of being rejected so I rarely step up. I know that’s not good but maybe I’ll do it when I’m ready.
One more thing, stop doing other people’s tasks just because they asked you to. It’s not your job to do their job!!!
Someone please teach all women to behave appropriately at work. The ones who don’t do this can cause a big problem to other women who really work their asses off just to be successful. Y’all can crawl your way up to the corporate ladder all you want, but you need skills to do it right. It’s not about being a woman or being able to have very fashionable looking attire at work, it’s about being knowledgeable in everything that you do at work and being able to do it efficiently. It’s not about how nicely curled your hair is or how short your skirt is.
I’m a woman but I hate female colleagues most of the time. They backstab each other at work, which is terribly unprofessional and they’re always so emotional when dealing with situations. Yes, I’m a woman too but I just don’t necessarily value relationships at work because they just get in the way sometimes. I work strictly professional and never personal.
Women deserve whatever hard work they’ve put into the work place. I’ve seen men who were promoted but some women in my department deserved it more. I’m not the type of dude that would go after promotions because I know that I don’t really excel in the leadership department. But I’ve definitely seen strong women.
I’m the type of person who won’t always say yes. But for some reason, others think it’s a bad thing in the workplace. I didn’t understand it at all because I thought: “Why would people want others to always agree, even when there’s something to disagree about?” I didn’t see the point because they would just be creating blind followers who just go with the flow and not individuals who would rather go against the grain in order to promote more growth. If a company wants everyone to just keep agreeing and discouraging those who are trying to do something for the better, it’s a company that’s bound to fail. I’m saying this because last year, I resigned from that company because that’s how they want all employees to be. “Yes people”.
I’ve experienced the same thing before. I’ve had managers that hate it when someone opposes their idea or when our ideas are better. Better, because other co-workers of mine agreed with me, but we all had no choice but to ignore my idea and execute my manager’s idea just because she feels threatened. If by any chance that our ideas do sound better for her, she won’t even admit it and she’ll try to make it her own.
I don’t think I can come up to my boss and say that I deserved that promotion. We sometimes overlook our own mistakes and we sometimes think we’re the best. Judgements like this can be very clouded…..
I’ve met women at work who strut the hallways like they’re beauty queens but with no brains.?
There’s no way that being liked is synonymous to being respected. I ‘could’ be a people pleaser to all my colleagues and I ‘could’ kiss their asses if I wanted to just to be ‘liked’ by them, but it doesn’t mean they’d respect me. Respect isn’t easily earned especially in the work place. People could be talking behind your back for foolish reasons and would lose respect towards you just because of rumors. Just because people are smiling at you, it doesn’t mean that they have your back and that they respect you for it.