5 Golden Rules To Make Your Relationship Last
How to make your (budding) affair endure past your stereotypical, ephemeral encounter.
I am not a certified “love guru.” I’m quite emotional and can be rash if I don’t check in with myself (meditation helps with that). While I’m sure there are plenty of women out there who have no problem keeping a cool head 99.8% of the time, I—unfortunately—am not one of them. Nevertheless, as someone who has only ever been in long-term relationships (casual hookups are really not my thing), I’d like to think I know a bit about what it takes to make a romance last much longer than a fling.
Read on for five (and a half! . . .ish) golden rules I feel you should follow, if you wish to make your (budding) affair endure past your stereotypical, ephemeral encounter.
#1: Be clear, be mature, and be honest when communicating
Generally, men and women express themselves in two very different ways, which makes establishing a crystal clear line of communication no easy feat. That said, take note, ladies: Men are not mind readers. 99% of the time they won’t figure out why you’re upset unless you explicitly tell them (and that’s presuming they even successfully recognize the fact that you’re not okay!).
If something’s on your mind, don’t try to engage your guy in a guessing game that involves you becoming increasingly angry as he repeatedly fails to deduce the reason behind your annoyance. It’ll ultimately end in both of you becoming upset, as he’s sure to get frustrated and irritated at your use of such a childish, scowl-ridden tactic (and he likely won’t be any more inclined to figuring out what offended you in the first place).
Instead, take a few breaths and pony up the courage to calmly tell him what’s bothering you, no matter how trivial it may be. This is much easier said than done, as more often than not the fumes steaming from the top of your head when you’re mad mess with your ability to express yourself articulately. In case said fumes do appear, take a few moments to cool down and sort your thoughts before telling your man (in a proper, non-whiny tone) what’s the matter. Chances are he probably didn’t even realize he did whatever it is you were irked by until you mentioned it, and even if he did, he didn’t realize it would make you mad. Do all of the above, and perhaps you’ll receive a sincere apology instead of a fed-up, deep-sigh-and-eye-roll-type of response!
#1.5: Be conscious of his feelings, too
You should also make sure your man is comfortable telling you when he’s not okay. Guys are notorious for bottling up their emotions — many think that spilling their innards is an emasculating act, so they opt to withhold their feelings instead. Though this practice might buoy your guy’s masculinity, it’ll also create a dangerous breeding ground for secrecy and resentment in the long run — a death sentence for any relationship.
The take away: Always be upfront and honest with your man, and don’t be afraid to speak up whenever you sense a disconnect developing between you two. Make the effort to ensure that you and your significant other are always on the same page, and that no emotion is ever suppressed and left to rot in dank corners, as it is guaranteed to fester at an exponential rate and wreak havoc in the future.