When Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer said she doesn’t consider herself a feminist, I thought, “how is it possible that such an intelligent woman could say that?” To be honest, I immediately lost a certain amount of respect for her.
Then I started thinking: why would she say that?
Let’s start with this: What does feminism make you think of?
Burning bras? Extremism? Hairy armpits? A jaded and unattractive woman in a pant suit? A beautiful women in a sundress?
For the past century, the male-run mainstream media has tried to make the association lie with the first four, but not the fifth.
Now, what does feminism mean?
A movement to help women be seen, treated and respected as equal in value and capability to men, and to have the same opportunities. Yup – it’s that simple.
More specifically, feminists want women to get equal pay for equal work, and to be seen as candidates for jobs like CTO, CEO, Chairman Chairperson, Senator, President… To let women into the same private clubs where deals are made and promotions are decided on. To get to the point where what a women has to say matters more than how she looks.
What does a feminist really look like?
Me, my husband, and all of my friends–simply because I wouldn’t be friends with someone who thinks women are second class citizens and deserve less respect than a man. Women and men in all industries, who dress well and shave their pits–or don’t! To each their own!
Why is feminism still important?
It wasn’t that long ago that women weren’t allowed to vote. Women were handed off from their patriarchal parent’s house to their husband’s house — ordered around by one man or another, never allowed to make their own choices.
Men didn’t let them into the best schools or clubs, or give women good jobs, or let women take credit for their inventions because they didn’t want women to feel an ounce of freedom. And if one man thought differently, he was quickly bullied into getting back in the patriarchal line.
Women have been living in a society strategically designed by men to give women as few options and as little independence as possible. In a nutshell, it’s been this way for centuries so that men can have the freedom to behave badly and their wives won’t feel like they can leave them. So that men can have complete control over women.
Men (not every man, but on the whole) wanted women to feel desperate and rely on them. So they perpetuated the falsehood that women aren’t competent enough to have higher-up positions, or that it simply wasn’t their ‘place’. (You’ve heard ‘a woman’s place is in the kitchen’, I assume? Shaming mother’s who choose to work is the current way of saying this.)
Lest you think that this is some sort of natural world order, know that girls have the same aspirations as boys until a certain age where they start internalizing the messed-up messages from Disney films and their sexist Barbie toys. The media continually sends messaging that women should be cheery, docile, simple and sexy (but not slutty!), and then have babies and stay at home. That your value as a woman lies in how pretty and carefree of a toy for men you can twist yourself into.
Women are continually objectified and told that their beauty is all they have, pitted against each other in competition for men. This is by design, to keep women from having strength in numbers. Women are taught that they’re ‘past their prime’ at age 30, so that they’ll believe that no other man will want them (giving the power to their husband), and so they’ll be jealous and hateful of younger women….
It’s so ingrained in our subconscious that many women don’t want to believe they’ve been duped and that they could’ve dreamed bigger. Hence, the ‘I don’t need feminism’ movement.
Did you know that only 6.6% of Fortune 500 companies have female CEO’s? Yes, in the year 2020. Still.
This is slowly changing, but we’re still far from at equality — and we seriously risk slipping backwards if we keep electing openly sexist men like Trump, who actively reinforce gender stereotypes, focus on women’s looks while discounting what they have to say, and chip away at women’s rights.
How did we get this distorted idea of what a feminist is?
Put simply: the word feminism has been dirtied by the media. Media and advertising have traditionally –and continue to be– industries run by men. It’s a fact that when the male-dominated media is threatened by a movement or shift in culture, they find many ways to subtly (or not-so-subtly) demonize the movement and the people involved.
It’s a fact that the media is the most thought-altering force in humans lives.
I mean, God forbid women take over and stop perpetuating unhealthy beauty ideals, thereby threatening mainstream women’s magazine’s very business model (beauty and fashion advertisers rely on magazines and their ads to make women feel insecure and competitive with other women — it drives sales).
Or what if women started demanding justice for the rampant sexual abuse these men dole out? Or the men started getting called out when ‘mansplaining’ and belittling women to make themselves feel powerful? Or men started having women as their bosses? That would be so hard on their egos! And what would happen to the ‘freedom’ that these old white men enjoy?? #SorryNotSorry #MeToo
Their answer: systematically suppress ‘feminism’ by making it seem like an un-feminine, man-hating, ugly fringe movement.
What can we do?
We can fight back by making it cool to be a feminist. Wear t-shirts stating that you’re a feminist, and post it on social media. Talk about it. Educate others.
Get the men in your life to agree to call out men who are sexist. Get them to find ways to support women. Watch films directed by women. Watch talk shows hosted by women (I never miss Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, or The Rachel Maddow Show).
Speak out when you notice a man being sexist. Demand justice if you were sexually abused — and don’t stop until you get an audience.
Participate in women’s rights marches — or organize them!
Stop being jealous of other women. Stop tearing other women down, and instead find ways to lift them up. Life is not a zero-sum game.
Because only if we work together, can we move onward and upward.
I know that sometimes men say that they, and not women, are the best. I’m not getting any of that yet, but I think it’s upsetting that women have to listen to it.
To be a feminist is to believe that you should not be denied opportunities solely because of your gender. It is the freedom to choose how you live your life rather than having those decisions made for you because you have a vagina.
I’ve always been happy to describe myself as a feminist. For me, it’s pretty simple; feminism is about the social, political and economic equality of the sexes. Lots of people I know object to the label feminist because they think it means something more than equality, or that it’s no longer relevant. Feminism has nothing to do with being a man-hater. It simply means you’re just an equal person who believes in equality in life. The word feminism can overshadow many different levels of belief. I think it’s a personal belief and comes down to individuality.
Feminism has become synonymous with misandry and hatred for everyone who is not on the far extreme left, especially boys and men, and women who don’t hate males. We need a society where being male or female has no impact on how a person lives their life; a society where the pressure is off and everyone can be themselves.
It’s because they don’t see the bigger picture. That the world needs more than just ‘liking males’ in general.
Understandably, different people have different takes on the word and what it represents, depending on their own place in society. The most common reasons for others not supporting feminism is: “because I am not a victim”, “because I do not hate men”, and “because we already have equality”. Although some people do believe that feminism isn’t needed, they should still be taught about it. They shouldn’t stay ignorant about the fact that there are situations like this still present in our society. Simply because you are not a victim, or you don’t label yourself as a man-hater, it doesn’t mean you should exclude yourself from the information or movement.
My idea of feminism is casting away all stereotypes. I’m an intelligent human being first. I can be a classy woman in a stylish dress or a tomboy in jeans and my favorite T-shirt, all while accomplishing anything I put my mind to.
Feminism is having the freedom to make my own choices, decisions, and values to conduct my life without judgments, especially by other women. And seriously, I get judged by more women than men.
Whenever I hear the word feminism, I think of all these angry women going around hating men. I know that’s not the original intent behind the idea, but that’s the picture I see in my head. In truth, I think that any label on a group of people can cause the very prejudices it may be trying to prevent.
It was necessary to have such a movement and it brought about great changes. But there have also been actions done by those claiming to be feminists that haven’t been so honorable. For instance, some feminists portray a hatred toward men, which can be a double standard, given what feminism should be about. Feminism is a movement towards equal society for male, female and transgender people, without discrimination. People should not feel discriminated against for being who they are. They should be able to live in peace, without fear of not conforming to the “social norm.” We need to change the social norm. We need to move towards a society where men are not afraid to be vulnerable and women are allowed to be independent.
I believe that all people, whether female or male, should be treated fairly and equally, without reference to gender or any other means of identification. I don’t believe in categorizing people for any reason.