Are You Sexually Compatible?

Some like it hot, and others, well… Here’s how to know if you’ll have chemistry in the sack.


I don’t know about you, but getting the best out of every sexual experience is basically my #1 goal in life. I spend most of my afternoons daydreaming about the day I’ll find that perfect someone who’ll sweep me off my feet and give me that wild carnal feeling as we’re both entwined in each other’s arms.

But when I meet someone new, is it possible to predict if he’ll be sexually compatible to my needs — without sleeping with him? Well, here are a few ways I’ve learned to predict sexual compatibility, without wasting a lot of time:

Are You Sexually Compatible?

Check Your Body’s Reaction

As you stare at this person, you suddenly felt hot all over. A sudden tingling sensation seems to crawl along your skin; taking in every detail of the person awakens your body, and some parts of your anatomy are starting to get restless… The feeling of just grabbing the guy and running to the nearest bedroom is practically unbearable. Don’t just disregard the feeling, pay attention to it!

Are You Sexually Compatible?

Chances are you’ll recognize when you just don’t have a great sexual connection with another person. Honor your intuition.

Considering that this is your reaction we are talking about, keep in mind that (I know, it’s unlikely, but) you might be the only one who’s feeling it. So try to observe his (or her) reaction as well; if he feels the same way about you then he’ll likely be leaning in, touching your hand or thigh, flirting, and making it clear that he’s into you.

Are You Sexually Compatible?

Kiss and Tell

A kiss can tell you more than if he (or she) is a good kisser or not. If you know what to look for, a kiss can tell you a lot of things regarding the person’s sexual compatibility with you. First kisses shouldn’t be judged since nerves often get in the way. But the second kiss is fair game. If the kiss is somewhat harried and out of focus, or if he doesn’t put his hand on you (on the back of your head or back, normally) while he’s kissing you, then he’s probably not a good lover. But a wild one, complete with tongue play and carnal lust, may be your ticket to wild night in bed.

You can also judge through the kiss if the person is sexually passionate or a wet blanket (no pun intended!) If he (or she) kisses the usual way then you might end up being the one to teach him how to get your pleasure meter up. But if the kiss lingers while his hands slowly explore your body, then you just stumbled upon a guy who knows his way around the female body – give it your best shot and don’t hold back!

Are You Sexually Compatible?

Find Out Their Deal

Spontaneity in a sexual sense is good, but well-laid plans can lead to getting laid well, if you get it right. If you want to find out if he or she is sexually compatible with you then plan out a series of seduction “tests” to make sure that he (or she) has the same taste as you.

We all fall on a spectrum of vanilla to kinky when it comes to our sexual appetites. One guy may be perfectly happy with missionary sex every single time, while the other might need ball gags and blindfolds to get off. Some people use sex to connect, others use it for a release, and others use it to fill a void. A partner who wants sex twice a day is going to have a hard time dating someone who would be fine with once a month.

Finding out where he (or she) stands is critical to determining long-term sexual compatibility. So flirt. Talk about what turns you both on. Ask if he’s into anything kinky, or what he thought of 50 Shades of Gray.

Are You Sexually Compatible?

Experience is Always the Best Teacher

To be really sure if you’re compatible, then you may just have to get it on and experience it first hand. Get to know personally if the person is sexually compatible with you by making out. Go to second or third base, but don’t hit a home run.

Take it slow at first; a little foreplay can do wonders at this point. If you’re turning each other on, then you can move it up a notch and start getting a bit more erotic. Let the anticipation build up until you’re really sure you want to go all-the-way, and it’ll be even hotter than if you’d done it sooner.

Are You Sexually Compatible?

Consider This

All of this only works if you know yourself. You need to know what you like, how you like it, and how often, in order to figure out how that guy you’ve been on a couple of dates with fits into that picture. The best way to get to know yourself is to touch yourself. When you feel sexual, act on it — by yourself. Figure out your body and what makes you feel sexy. Dress to feel sexy. Cook, if that awakens your senses and makes you feel sexy. Take baths and notice how it feels when you run the soap gently over your skin.

It can be difficult to know how much emphasis to put on sexual compatibility; while most people enjoy great sex, we tend to feel uncomfortable with the thought of ending a relationship over sexual incompatibility. The good news, in my opinion, is that sexual compatibility is not a fixed value. It can actually be improved! Your willingness to work on your sexual relationship is way more important than having identical sex drives and desires. And that’s OK! Life just wouldn’t be interesting if we got what we wanted 100% of the time. You never know — you just may discover a new side of yourself!

Avatar of Sarah Woodstock

Sarah enlightens us on a daily basis with the newest trends as (and often before) they transpire. She is the consummate globe trotter. Having traveled to over 70 countries, she earns her living writing, blogging ( and modeling while on the road. In her spare time she gets manicures, suntans on yachts in Greece, shops for even more shoes, and lives in the limelight. She loves photography, elephants, sailboats, bangles and ballet flats.

Reader Discussion: 126 Comments

  1. Avatar of Penny Hudson

    Penny Hudson

    Best Sex Person is really your Soulmate and forever Partner!.?

    • Avatar of Janis Santos

      Janis Santos

      I think not all the time.

  2. Avatar of Jenny Gregory

    Jenny Gregory

    My sister talks about how his husband has no interest at having sex with her anymore. They are both in late 40’s. So I am thinking that maybe that age affects the interest of on SEX.

  3. Avatar of Jane Jefferson

    Jane Jefferson

    I’m thinking about this Guy that I have dated last week I do’t feel anything about him I mean even if we hold hands and kissed already I just don’t feel any spark at all. After reading this I think i should stop seeing him.

  4. Avatar of Bobbie Lindsey

    Bobbie Lindsey

    My husband and I barely can’t get enough sex. I think our libido’s are mismatched.

  5. Avatar of Lorraine Montgomery

    Lorraine Montgomery

    You know he’s the one when the thought of him naked my your orgasm up! ?

    • Avatar of Darla Lynch

      Darla Lynch


  6. Avatar of Sherry Sandoval

    Sherry Sandoval

    I really wanted a partner who would respect my needs and my pleasure. Still waiting for that GUY!

  7. Avatar of Bridget Baker

    Bridget Baker

    He/She is really into you when He/She makes an effort to make you satisfy specially in the bed.

  8. Avatar of Colleen May

    Colleen May

    Open communication between you and your partner is very important when it comes to sexual compatibility. You should be able to communicate with your partner about what you feel and also to give feedback to your partner.

  9. Avatar of Beverly Walton

    Beverly Walton


  10. Avatar of Alexis Weber

    Alexis Weber

    Some people really don’t care about SEX. But hell yeah! It’s the most important part of the relationship. it’s the one that makes the relationship alive and burning.

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