Deliberate STD Spreading: It Happens!

Why people sometimes give diseases to their lover — on purpose.


I was talking to my best friend the other day, and she admitted something to me. That about a year ago, a guy she dated for a about a month gave her herpes. The shocking part was that he had an outbreak the first time they got naked and, when she asked about it, he said that it’s not a disease — that his penis had simply always had those marks on it. She trusted him and, consequently, two weeks later, she had her first outbreak of this incurable disease. When she confronted him, he denied it, but she could see on his face that he was lying. Whether his hormones took over, was too embarrassed to talk about it, or he simply wanted to feel ‘normal’, she’ll never know. At any rate, it was unfortunately too little too late, for her.

Deliberate STD Spreading: It Happens!

He may be tempting, but don’t risk it!

It’s not easy to accept having a STD. For those that suffer from them, it’s common to want to ignore the issue. In attempts to feel normal, some simply don’t get tested (too scary!) or knowingly continue to spread the infection or STD through unprotected sex.

Could it be, for that individual’s various personal reasons, the spread of STDs and STIs are not always accidental, but rather, deliberate?

This is not to say that those carrying infection or disease are deliberately trying to harm others. Although there have been cases of very conscious and deliberate STD spreading (apparently some feel that they’ll be more normal if others have the disease as well), this is not the norm in general.

Usually, in an effort to deal with such a serious and anxiety-ridden personal issue, continued unprotected sex is a semi-unconscious reaction. The infected person rationalizes the concern for the other person’s safety away, or simply forces one’s self not to think about it at all. As a result, there are 19 million new cases of STDs each year.

Deliberate STD Spreading: It Happens!

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, every year, 1 out of 4 teenagers contract a sexually transmitted disease.

I mean, I get it. Coming to terms with having a STD like herpes or HIV would be so awful that I’d want to just ignore it too. It’s life changing, which is why denial of the condition easily accompanies this reality.  Dishonesty runs rampant for those infected. I mean, who would want to risk their friends or colleagues finding out about their secret? Fear of rejection by family and friends is understandable.

They protect their secret because they don’t want to risk seeming unattractive, like they could be damaging to others, or because it has the possibility of making it hard to have a ‘normal’ relationship.  The stigma presented by the general public is enough to encourage a carrier to hide this unfortunate truth.

People with STD’s are no different when it comes to wanting a normal life, sexual and otherwise. Most often, they do not have ill-will or a desire to deliberately spread the infection (although some misogynists have admitted to doing exactly that). Again, continued sexual intercourse without disclosure is often an emotional and unconscious reaction to a deep desire to maintain a normal life.

Deliberate STD Spreading: It Happens!

Don’t be the 12th woman he’s given his nasty STD to – play it safe!

 In attempts to feel normal, they continue to have unprotected sex and spread the disease.

Here are a few things you should know:

  • Condoms protect against HIV, but not against many other STD’s like herpes and genital warts.
  • If your partner has spots or sores — stay away!!
  • A blood test can tell you if you have herpes.
  • Herpes can be spread even without visible symptoms.
  • Always use a condom.
  • Look for signs of other diseases that a condom can’t protect against, like herpes.
  • Ask your partner if they have a STD before you start making out (once you’re in the thick of it, they’re even less likely to be honest). But don’t trust a person just because they say they’re ‘clean’.
Deliberate STD Spreading: It Happens!

Condoms protect against HIV, but not other STD’s like herpes or genital warts.

What it boils down to is picking partners who aren’t ‘players’ (the less sexual partners they’ve had, in theory, the lower the risk), and –I hate to say it– opting to masturbate instead of going home with that hot guy from the bar. The less partners you have, the lower your risk. Oh yeah; and do your next partner a favor — get tested!

Avatar of Sarah Woodstock

Sarah enlightens us on a daily basis with the newest trends as (and often before) they transpire. She is the consummate globe trotter. Having traveled to over 70 countries, she earns her living writing, blogging ( and modeling while on the road. In her spare time she gets manicures, suntans on yachts in Greece, shops for even more shoes, and lives in the limelight. She loves photography, elephants, sailboats, bangles and ballet flats.

Reader Discussion: 164 Comments

  1. Avatar of Marie


    I was foolish and reckless to have unprotected sex with a man I’d never met before, in November and December of this past year. I knew the risks, of course, but I was terribly lonely, and he was tall and handsome – and very charming. A few weeks after our second encounter, I began to worry about STDs, so I went through a comprehensive panel of tests (blood and urine); I tested negative for everything except genital herpes (HSV-2). I was surprised to learn I now have genital herpes, since I have no symptoms at all; it’s fairly common for women to be asymptomatic. When I called this Casanova player to tell him about my contracting genital herpes, he was totally nonchalant and uncaring. I’m very sure he gave it to me on purpose. He broke my heart.

  2. Avatar of LAV


    I think it’s all in how you look at it. Statistically speaking approximately 1 in 6 people have HSV2 (genital herpes) And approximately 99% of the population has HSV1 (oral herpes). Those are still pretty good odds for finding a husband/wife. When I was diagnosed with HSV2. It sent me back to God. Stopping premarital sex has been one of THE Most FREEING THINGS TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME. I started focusing on God, my kids, my career, my fitness, my mental and physical health and new hobbies. I told God that I didn’t want anyone else if it wasn’t the person from whose rib he created me from. I don’t have to worry about telling anyone I have herpes because I no longer have premarital sex. , I dont have to lie about the orgasms I wasn’t having anyways. Lol. I no longer wait for someone to text or call. No more wondering if someone is being faithful or cheating. Oh and I don’t have to share my TV remote. This is just to name a few positive things. What God puts together let no man separate. An STD is no obstacle for God. The right one will either also have it or not care you have it. Or God will send a cure. Either way HSV2 stopped a lot of unwanted advances, unnecessary heartache and Frog kissing for me. And for that I give God thanks. Put your focus on God and he will take care of the rest.

  3. Avatar of Karen Santos

    Hi thanks for the information

    I would like to invite you all to visit our clinic for more info about
    how to treat your viruses. Please click the link below to reach us!
    Thank you for all your support and may we help you too with your problem.
    Good day and God Bless!

    Thank you by 3 signs of STD

  4. Avatar of Gia


    I was infected with genital herpes by a friend who took advantage of me and put something in my drink. I regret that everyday of my life because the trauma of that expierience and getting a incurable std. that person deliberately did that to me to make themselves feel better about themselves. That has scared me forever and every day I wake up I wish I didn’t. It’s going to be a long road for me but I do believe in karma. I think there should be stricter laws on giving someone herpes deliberately knowing. The after affects of the victim is the most emotional and mentally draining that you would rather die. To be honest I would rather of had cancer then have herpes because with cancer you can’t give that to anyone and me personally I wouldn’t be able to do what was done to me.

    • Avatar of Karen B.

      Karen B.

      I am in the same boat. I had known the person for 10 years before we finally slept together. So he when he had told me he was clean and gets tested regularly, I believed him… only to find out he didn’t/wasn’t and I’m left suffering. I shared my story with my son hoping he would get the message, but he ended up catching warts (which is not curable) anyway. Boys will be boys. 🙁

    • Avatar of Craig


      Are people who willfully infect another person with an incurable STD subject to any laws, will a court hold them accountable? It sounds like assault to me, no different than getting an eye poked out. Long term consequences.

      • Avatar of Karen Duffy

        I fully agree. Anyone with anything incurable should have registered. But I think it should fell on the testing place to register them. Because of the pedophiles that don’t register and we can’t prevent it.

  5. Avatar of Erma Sparks

    Erma Sparks

    My mom attended a seminar that was about HIV back in the year 2016. She was able to talk to someone with HIV and I think most of us need to be really informed about how this type of infection is spread. The person she interviewed said that a lot of people fear him because they assume that HIV is just like any virus wherein it’s airborne–which isn’t true. People need to be educated about the truths and the myths should be corrected. People with STD and HIV can suffer because of false information with regards to what they have. That’s what causes fear among those who don’t have it.

    • Avatar of Mona Conner

      Mona Conner

      That’s why we need to educate more people about STD. A lot of people are unaware!

  6. Avatar of ERICA


    We’re doing a mediocre attempt to keep ourselves safe from STD. That’s why this is happening. We are not taking this seriously and then we wallow in self-pity once we get it.

  7. Avatar of Doreen Carlson

    Doreen Carlson

    We’re such a society of victim blamers. Everyone is the victim here. The carrier of the STD and the one who is deliberately infected. We treat them like they should be ashamed of living and that’s where the problem arises. If we’re not discriminating them to the point of making them feel like there’s no more future for them, that’s when they start hiding it.

  8. Avatar of Juana Gross

    Juana Gross

    If you know what STD looks like, I don’t think you’ll ever be deliberately infected. ☹️

    • Avatar of Cathy Daniel

      Cathy Daniel

      I admit that when I was a teen, I didn’t know anything about condoms.The first time I had sex, I didn’t even use any protection. I think it just goes to show that the reason why teens are infected so easily is because they aren’t open to the knowledge of things like this.

      • Avatar of Victoria George

        Victoria George

        I don’t think any of it is accidental. Especially when a guy gets the STD. It manifests ASAP and he would already start feeling something weird going on down there. It’s not something that can be easily missed. “Accidental” is just an excuse for feigning ignorance. I’m honestly infuriated by this shit. Sorry for the word… But seriously. I kind of want to blame both parties on this because if you people knew your thing, you won’t be sticking your junk in places that aren’t infected because they can get infected too. That’s if you care about the person you go in bed with.

  9. Avatar of Antoinette Morris

    Antoinette Morris

    Something big has to be done with issues like this. More government projects about sex-ed should be done, geared especially towards the younger generation.

  10. Avatar of Erika Burgess

    Erika Burgess

    I think I understand how those people who deliberately spread STD feels. My immune system sucks and being exposed to anyone with a cough or cold can easily make me sick. When my boyfriend is sick, I usually just avoid being too close to him, especially kissing, and eating or drinking the same stuff he’s already put in his mouth. But sometimes, when we’re both alone in our intimate moments, he just can’t stop himself from kissing me even when I already said that I didn’t want it because he has colds or something. I know a cough and cold isn’t the same as STD, but I’m just saying that even with something as simple as a common cough and cold, my boyfriend can’t stop himself from having contact with me even if he knows that I get sick easily. He would be willing to risk that I get sick as long as he experiences pleasure.

    • Avatar of Johanna Kelly

      Johanna Kelly

      I’m sorry but your boyfriend isn’t treating you right. You mentioned that you said you didn’t want to be kissed and physical contact should always have consent regardless of your relationship. Also, this is another reason why STD is being deliberately spread, because of women who are manipulated and forced to do something against their will even if they are already having second thoughts.

Load 10 more comments

Join in the Conversation! Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Urbanette moderates and edits comments for grammar and to facilitate an informed, substantive, civil conversation. Abusive, profane, promotional, misleading, incoherent or off-topic comments will be rejected. Please use your full name. Moderators can only approve comments written in English.

All content is strictly copyright. Contact us for permission.