6 Ways To Get Your Mojo Back

Six fun changes to make you feel sexy and alive.


If you’re human, you’ve probably had at least one bad week in your life when nothing seemed to go right. That guy (or girl) you’re dating has decided it’s time for “a break” and on the very same day you get scolded at work for a costly mistake. On top of it all, you realize the needle on the scale is going in the wrong direction after you’ve spent more than a few nights drowning yourself in a quart of rocky road ice cream. These periods of doubt can take your confidence levels down at least a notch or two, but you don’t have to let them define you.

6 Ways To Get Your Mojo Back

When things go wrong, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of negative thinking that ultimately plunges confidence and self-esteem to even lower depths, creating a vicious cycle. For example, studies show that women who appear more confident win out over a women who are perceived as traditionally more attractive when it comes to how many times they are approached at bars.

So don’t just talk about changing, do it. Take control of your confidence and you’re bound to see your happiness level increase significantly. Here’s how:

Get Out There

Hanging with your friends and going on dates are two ways to make you feel alive again. Ring up your friends and ask them to meet up at a bar with fun, happy music you like (here are our picks of the best NYC rooftop bars). Or have them over for a fun girl’s night.

Another way to make yourself feel better is to get online and sign up for online dating (here’s a comparison of the top dating sites). If you’re not ready to go on dates again, I understand. Believe me, I’ve been there. I’ve actually cried telling my new date about my ex — on our first date. So embarrassing! Waiting to go on dates until I could talk about my breakup without bawling would’ve been a good idea. That said, there’s no harm in looking online and, once you’re ready, there’s no better way to get a little boost than by going on a few dates.

6 Ways To Get Your Mojo Back

Improve Your Posture

If you walk into a room with your head down and your eyes on the floor, you probably aren’t feeling very confident and you’re projecting that. Even if you’re a mess inside, standing taller and appearing more confident may cause you to believe in yourself. Your body posture affects what others think about you and also what you think about yourself. Stand up straight and make eye contact for an immediate confidence boost.

Dress Better and Change Up Your Appearance

What’s in your closet can help you project your best image, significantly boosting your confidence level. How we dress can reflect the level of our self-esteem, so it may be time to assess what you’re wearing and make an effort to improve it. If you aren’t sure where to start, there are a number of fashion apps that help you use your current wardrobe to create effortlessly chic styles, or allow you to take pictures of your clothes and spin them around to make new combinations.

6 Ways To Get Your Mojo Back

Making an appearance change like a new hairstyle or switching out your glasses for colored contact lenses, can make a dramatic difference that is sure to make you feel more confident.

Work Out

Exercising on a regular basis makes you feel in control of your own health, making you a more confident person. Physical activity also helps to battle the effects of stress, keeping you both mentally and physically strong so your confidence isn’t derailed by minor setbacks. Plus, if you’re in good shape, your clothes will fit better, you’ll stand taller and you’ll have more energy to do what it takes to succeed. Being fit allows you to be the very best version of yourself.

6 Ways To Get Your Mojo Back

Be Creative

Getting in touch with your creative side can make you happier and healthier. There are numerous studies on the beneficial effects of creativity. Not only can being creative help your health, but it can also help you at work by opening you up to innovation and inspiration. Anyone can be creative, it’s not about skill or talent. Whether it’s dancing alone in your house, baking cupcakes, painting a picture or repurposing furniture, creativity will boost your mental health and overall wellbeing.

6 Ways To Get Your Mojo Back

Challenge Yourself to Master Something New

Challenge yourself by getting out of your comfort zone and mastering something new. Whether it’s a new sport or getting over your biggest fear, the accomplishment is bound to give you a huge shot of confidence. You’ll feel better about yourself, which may even inspire you to achieve yet another hard-fought goal, bringing even more confidence, and so on.

Before you know it, the sky’s the limit. You can do or accomplish almost anything your heart desires because now you’ve got your mojo back!

Want more? Here’s 10 ways to deal with a breakup.

Avatar of Sarah Woodstock

Sarah enlightens us on a daily basis with the newest trends as (and often before) they transpire. She is the consummate globe trotter. Having traveled to over 70 countries, she earns her living writing, blogging (InsiderDiva.com) and modeling while on the road. In her spare time she gets manicures, suntans on yachts in Greece, shops for even more shoes, and lives in the limelight. She loves photography, elephants, sailboats, bangles and ballet flats.

Reader Discussion: 102 Comments

  1. Avatar of Chloe Johannson

    Chloe Johannson

    This is great stuff, though I wish I can do them. It is not always easy to change if a habit is already formed. I think what I need is someone that can help me achieve them. I really need to do this to gain more self-esteem. The most difficult part would be the workout.

  2. Avatar of Elise Pemberton

    Elise Pemberton

    Try online dates?! There’s a lot of pervs on the net, preying on innocent women. Human traffickers and sexually perverted men use social media to dupe unsuspecting individuals. I would rather get a personal meet up to know how much I want to be with that person. This does not include hackers…

  3. Avatar of Stacey Adams

    Stacey Adams

    I started to feel better about myself and my body when I stopped looking at fashion and beauty magazines. I believe it portrays unrealistic views about beauty and women’s body. Models are hypersexualized and make me feel like I need to be like them to feel beautiful and empowered. It just didn’t feel right.

  4. Avatar of Bela Christo

    Bela Christo

    You can never find true love in dating sites. People that signed up there are just looking for one night stands. You have to trust me in this.

    • Avatar of Carlos Watson

      Carlos Watson

      No! I totally disagree with you. I met my wife on a dating site few years ago. Yes, at first I was hesitant because this might be not good, but we are wrong. I was wrong. That dating site just gave me my love of my life.

  5. Avatar of Dixie Scott

    Dixie Scott

    I’ve been trying dating apps, but whenever I’m on a date, I get a little bit nervous. Now, as I’ve read your article, it is now clear to me that I have to be confident in every date that I am going to be. Thank you! This will help me a lot.

    • Avatar of Laronda Walker

      Laronda Walker

      Why are people so nervous when dating? You have to impress the person you are meeting, you have to be confident when you are going to meet that person.

  6. Avatar of Elizabeth Coleman

    Elizabeth Coleman

    The reason why I love reading your articles. Very informative, and helpful. It has a lot of sense!

  7. Avatar of Joyce Morgan

    Joyce Morgan

    Amazing! There are apps like this? You can match your clothes by capturing them, and they will do the work? OMG!

  8. Avatar of Diane Cox

    Diane Cox

    Of course, you have to dress better! no one will ever like you if you dressed up like you’re from outer space. Really. I am not kidding.

  9. Avatar of Yolanda Tate

    Yolanda Tate

    Haha!!! OMG!! Thanks for the dating sites!!! I’m actually looking for dating sites aside from tinder because now, Tinder sucks!

    • Avatar of Laronda Walker

      Laronda Walker

      Why? What happened to Tinder? I am not using it for 2 years, and before it was really good. What happened to my most favorite dating app?

  10. Avatar of Gregg Mcguire

    Gregg Mcguire

    As a man, it’s true. I am more attracted to the woman with high confidence, that to the woman with natural beauty. If that woman is both, well, you are amazing!

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