7 Steps to Prevent Infidelity - URBANETTE: Lifestyle Magazine & Blog


7 Steps to Prevent Infidelity

Our best common-sense tips for preventing infidelity in the workplace and elsewhere.


Sometimes even the best relationships have hiccups. As couples go through their ups-and-downs, it’s important not to let our ‘downs’ become disastrous. Here are a few tips to smooth the ride and avoid a breakup-worthy disaster:

7 Steps to Prevent Infidelity

1. Recognize that work can be a danger zone.

  • Don’t have lunch or take coffee breaks frequently with the same person.
  • Don’t get into discussions around the water cooler with co-workers that you find attractive.
  • When you travel with a co-worker, meet in public, not in a room with a bed.
  • At the office party, pretend the coworker who’s flirting with you has gonorrhea, then talk about your happy relationship, or better yet, talk to someone else.

7 Steps to Prevent Infidelity

2. Minimize your alcohol and drug intake when you’re not with your significant other.

Skip that third beer when you’re out with the guys, or the second martini with work colleagues. Mistakes happen more frequently when you’re not thinking clearly. We all know that unintended hookups happen when alcohol is involved. Bad ideas somehow become irresistible, and in the morning you’ll have to deal with the damaging consequences.

7 Steps to Prevent Infidelity

3. Avoid emotional intimacy with attractive alternatives to your committed relationship.

Resist the desire to rescue an unhappy soul who pours their heart out to you. Emotional disclosures are the first step to building an inappropriate emotional bond that could end up in an affair. Most affairs aren’t planned, and they’re often with people less physically attractive than their spouse.

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Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D. is the author of NOT "Just Friends": Protect Your Relationship from Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal.

Reader Discussion: 153 Comments

  1. Well… I personally believe that relationship problems should be discussed with your partner and only the two of you should solve your issues to the best of your ability 🙂 Never ever "seek" help of an alcoholic drink…. LOL 😉

  2. I always believed that “honesty” and “trust” should be the foundation of every relationship. If I accidentally committed infidelity, I would try very hard to admit it. If my partner accidentally committed infidelity and he admits it, I would try very hard to understand and give him a second chance. Yes, it sounds hard to do, but I’ll really try….. (with fingers crossed that “infidelity” won’t happen to me and my partner) LOL!

  3. In everything we do, we should have a goal. The workplace is a place to earn (financially) and practice our profession. It’s great to gain friends at work but there should be a limit. Never lose control and focus!

  4. Randie Cadiogan

    Problems of the heart (at home) should be solved inside the home and not be brought in the workplace!

  5. Talking about your relationship with someone at work is a slippery slope. Good advice…

  6. Jen Garcia

    Today, I received a news that a good friend of mine caught her husband cheating on her. She learned about it through Facebook when his husband was “tagged” by one of his office colleagues. I’m not really sure if that colleague did it on purpose or she’s just so excited to post. I know for a fact that the husband’s office colleagues know he’s married. It’s really disheartening because they’ve been married for 14 years and I personally never imagined them going through this problem.

    I was so shocked that I really don’t know what to advice her so I’m searching through the Internet to help me give a very good advice for her. That’s why I landed on this page.

    I don’t know my friend’s FULL story yet. I’m one sided because it’s just the woman (my friend) whom I have talked to. I don’t know the other side of the story. When I checked on the “pictures” whom the husband has been tagged, it seems that “over consumption” of alcohol and emotional intimacy are the culprit.

    We definitely cannot avoid the workplace (and tempting office colleagues for that matter). But I think we can always prevent infidelity if we stay focused. We should remember that our primary goal in the workplace is to earn and practice a profession and NOT for anything else. Some socialization activities are good but be sure to limit yourself MOST ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE MARRIED.

  7. Hannah Mayers

    “Why did God make women so beautiful and man with such a loving heart?” 
    ― Walker Percy, Love in the Ruins

    Temptation is the root of infidelity. For me, the best way to prevent infidelity is to avoid these temptations. I totally agree that the workplace is such a “dangerous place.” Simply because most of our time is spent in the office / with our office mates.

    If you have problems at home, never ever bring it at the office (it’s not bad to share but never share it with the opposite sex). Lastly, learn to control yourself when taking in alcohol. Do not overconsume!

  8. Gabrielle Williams

    Well, infidelity happens. I’m not being pessimistic but I believe infidelity will happen no matter how hard you try to prevent it.

    For me, the real issue is, how do you deal with it? If you committed infidelity, are you brave enough to admit it?

    Or if your partner committed infidelity, would you be kind and trusting enough to accept him/her again?!

  9. Jen Spillane

    I really appreciate that this article presents cheating as something that one can take steps in order to actively avoid. So often affairs are portrayed as something that is out of the hands of the people involved. "It just happened," or "It was bound to happen," are common excuses, as those the people involved have no responsibility for what went down. This article shows how people can be accountable to themselves as well as their partners if they want to avoid infidelity. Well done!

  10. steve morales

    I can’t begin to tell you how many women (who have boyfriends and husbands) at my job break all of these rules. They go to “lunch” with just guys or are having two martini lunches with their customers. All of these bars in Downtown are like lubrication for Infedility.

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