The last time I went out with a friend, we spent most of the night commiserating about our love lives (or, rather, the lack thereof), and the rest complaining about our mutual friend who’d all but gone MIA after meeting her latest “might be the one” boyfriend. We’d tried going to a party, but found that we’d rather spend it sitting together than socializing with other people.
The search for love is everywhere. In our books, movies, TV shows, and in the way we talk to each other. It’s clear that romance is on our collective minds. Many of us prioritize finding love over pretty much every other aspect of our lives. Everyone searching for their soulmate wants to find that special someone so they can skip ahead to their ‘Happily Ever After’.
But why do we limit that to romance? Love, trust, great memories—they don’t have to be restricted to the sphere of romantic relationships. In this culture-split between hookups and finding love, we’ve forgotten about our friends. And yet close friendships are absolutely integral to our happiness. As we search for our soulmate, we should also be on the lookout for our friend soulmates.
The ones who can make you laugh at anything and talk you out of crying. The ones who make a supportive comment right when you expect them to take the mickey out of you. The ones who solve your life crises. The ones who know you, who have seen all your flaws and love you for them. I know it sounds nauseatingly cheesy, but are they not your soulmates too?
I met my closest friends in high school and college, and to say they’ve made my life blessed is the understatement of the year. Somewhere between the sleepovers, the excess mango-passion-fruit smoothies, and our unending enthusiasm for the same movies and books, they became my best friends and I love them more than anyone.
We’ve become so distracted by the complications of romance love that we’ve forgotten about the beauty of platonic love.
But the value of friendships is often undermined. We’ve become so distracted by our focus on romance that we’ve forgotten about the beauty of platonic love. We say things like “we’re just friends,” as though friendship was somehow a lesser form of relating to another human being. The last time I broke up with a boyfriend, the first comforting phrase I got was, “At least you have your friends.” But there’s nothing at least about my friends. They are the most beautiful parts of my life.
My close friends and I fulfill each other in ways that I’m learning to acknowledge and appreciate. I now tell my friends that I love them, and I let them know just how much I appreciate them. We bring out the best in each other and enrich each other’s lives. That’s why focusing on your friendships is just as important as finding romance.
Take the time to talk your friends through hard times, revel in your inside jokes and shared passions, support their dreams, and keep in touch despite any distance. If you do, you’ll be rewarded with the kind of soulmate that transcends romance. It’s not the fairytale ending romantic comedies taught us to aspire to. In many ways, it’s better.
Of course, finding love is valuable and worthwhile. But don’t ever let your friends fall by the wayside because of romance. They’re just as important as your significant other. And, if you treat them right, you just might find that you have a true partner for life.
Friendship is another beautiful abstract that is a willful development. It is like devotion or the will to worl hard or the thirst for apple juice. Some may crave for it, enjoy it, respect it and achieve it. While others may not even find it in their skins.
I disagree on some points. I have had a boyfriend… my first boyfriend (at age 28) and I can honestly say i never lost any of my friends. I make sure to treat them with same amount of love and time, if not more, than my boyfriend. I refuse to lose them because I experienced losing a best friend (because she neglected me) *sigh*
I’m not a pessimist but I think taking care of your “TRUE” friends will mean you have someone to turn to and cry on when romantic relationships don’t turn out the way you want it to be.
I do not understand at all why people compare things that are worlds apart, although they co exist. The differentiation in love and friendship is like a comparison to distinguish a bull from the abstract wisdom. Love and friendship are two distinct forms of abstract relationships.
Oh well, I agree and disagree. I agree that it’s important to talk your friends though hard / tough times. But I disagree (at least based on my experience) that I undermine the value of friendship because I’ve found my significant other.
I don’t and will never forget friends because I’m in a romantic relationship simply because I’ve known them a long time, they’ve been around THAT LONG that they don’t deserve to be pushed away just because I’ve got my boyfriend…
Love and friendship is often regarded as two separate entities.But are they really that different? Love is defined as having a great affection or liking for someone and isn’t that what friendship is supposed to be? Atleast it should if one removes the adjective ‘great’. You don’t befriend some random person without some liking, do you?. By the way, I don’t consider befriending as what people do in online chat rooms. I mean BEFRIENDING in real life. I hope you got what I was trying to say. I fear I lost my point lol
Thank you. The most brilliant, spot on account of love. I’ve been through it myself and understand now in retrospect what I thought I knew. An enlightened mature love takes an enlightened and open mind. You think this has always been the condition of people in society throughout history? The “how to” and “the way you should” versus the maverick way of figuring it out by instinct and clear mind?
“There are no complicated relationship, only people are complicated”
I think that throughout history, there were different societies that were taking relationship in a different way than we do, with more instinct like you said.
Love isn’t and shouldn’t be limited to romance. We experience love for our family, for animals, for nature, for friends, for art, love for ourselves… ????❤️ It isn’t hard to “find love.” Those who are looking may just be looking in the wrong places. Start your search within you ?
Nowadays, it seems like relationships are narrowed down to romance or nothing. And no, I’m not attacking anyone; I just wanted to speak out my opinion.
Nothing’s wrong with romance…but sometimes, it can go too far. Trust me, I’ve seen some people going crazy looking for “the one”. It seems like friendship and familial love has died among fandoms of lust and romance.
Love this article! I must admit that I used to feel bad when girlfriend(s) are missing in action when in romantic relationships. But when I experienced being in a romantic relationship, I can’t help but tell myself, “ah… now I know.” I mean it’s hard to juggle my time and yeah, I’ve gone MIA as well…