Working long hours? Sick of wasting time on online dating just to find out that you have no chemistry in person? Wondering if you want to try speed dating to save time? Here’s a crash course to give you a head-start.

For research, (oh, the things we journalists have to do in the name of research…) I attended three fun-filled speed dating events. Also in the name of research, I chose three different persona’s for the three different events: British Airways Flight Attendant, Professional Chef, and International Fashion Model. I was curious to see if these men were really serious about meeting an intelligent woman for a serious relationship.

For the first event I told the men that I was a stewardess and was away most of the time and therefore not looking for anything serious. As a professional chef, I showed my best sophisticated and educated face, and, as a fashion model, I was uncomplicated and bubbly. Let’s see what the men preferred…

Here’s how it works: When you enter the venue you are given a paper that has 25 blank lines and one ‘Yes’ and one ‘No’ box next to each. You are also given a name tag with your name and your assigned number. When the dating begins you sit down and either stay sitting or move from table to table (follow the numbers on the tables). After each ‘date’ you record the person’s assigned number on one of the blank lines and tick either ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ (to signify whether you’d like to exchange emails). There is one break (like an intermission) half way through for drinks or the washroom.

Pretty much all of the services gave the same stats as far as average success rates go: About 80% of people have at least one match. The average person checks six YES boxes (for people they would like to see again.) Of that six, about three match up, with the other person also checking YES.

Here’s a quick summary of the pros and cons of speed dating:

Pros

• If you don’t have a way to meet potential dates, this is a great way to get a very quick overview of 20 or so people who are also looking for a relationship.
• You can ask pretty much whatever you want right away. If you don’t like the answers, you don’t have to waste any more time talking to the person.
• In comparison, with Internet dating a person’s whole identity (not to mention their sex!) could be completely false or fabricated. With speed dating at least you pretty much know that their motives are sincere (not to mention that yes, they are in fact male or female.)

Cons

• It can be superficial, as the way someone looks and dresses is a big part of what you’ll have to go on since you’re not going to get an idea of the person’s morals or character in a few minutes of small talk.
• You (or they) may check ‘No’ to the nicest person there, as a good talker and dresser would have more success at these events than someone who may be a bit shy but has integrity.

Speed Dating: Flight Attendant Persona

Speed Dating Event # 1: British Airways Stewardess

The Event: 25 Dates – age category 25-35

The Persona: British Airways “Stewardess”

Preparation

I started by putting on eyeliner to create the “cat’s eyes” you see stewardesses sporting in so many movies. Then I tried to create that “big hair” look but eventually gave up as my super fine hair was just not being agreeable and opted for a high curly ponytail. Lastly, I put on my push-up and a tight blue cleavage-bearing top over which I put a matching tiny (but thankfully still covering) shirt. Both were a light blue embroidered floral pattern. I slipped on my jean skirt and knee-high boots, grabbed my orange Kate Spade bag and was ready to go.

The Schtick

“I work for an airline. Yeah, I’m a stewardess… But I mostly work in first class. Mostly businessmen but sometimes I see a celebrity – that’s pretty exciting. Ummm…I served Johnny Depp once. Yeah, he was sweet… he wanted extra warm cookies. I fly between here and London mostly. Yeah, I’ve traveled all over the world. It’s not bad. Kinda tiring.”

The Talent

Although this event was held at a downtown venue, 90% of the guys who attended lived at least 45 minutes outside the city. Why they wanted to attend an event downtown, I do not know. Since I live right downtown and do not have (or have ever needed) a car, that would immediately discount all but a couple of the guys as I wouldn’t be able to get back and forth to the suburbs easily enough. At least two of the guys who were over thirty admitted that they still lived with their parents. Five or more of the guys seemed to be under five feet tall and another five were rapidly balding. Not exactly top-notch specimens if you’re looking for a sexy guy to go on a few spontaneous dates with.

Believable?

The first three minute date I went on, the guy didn’t seem to believe me. As soon as I told him I was a stewardess his face contorted into that of a serious skeptic. Maybe he’d seen that episode of Sex and the City – or maybe I was just paranoid. It got easier from there on in. It did feel a bit weird fibbing but I figured I wouldn’t have checked ‘yes’ for any of these guys anyway so they weren’t really missing out on anything. At least they had something to tell their friends because by the sound of it I had the most interesting fake job there.

Things ran smoothly after the first guy until I hit guy number 12 who informed me that his sister is also a flight attendant and that he had worked in a managerial position at an airline for four years. I thought I’d been caught for sure (apparently no one in the know has called them stewardesses for a couple of decades) but he seemed not to care whether I was fibbing or not and continued his line of questioning without incident. He even came up to me at break to see if I’d “had any luck” or “checked any YES’s yet”. No and no. Thanks for asking.

The Verdict: Definitely suburbia hits downtown. Not even close to being worth the $45.

Dates: 25

YES responses (from them): 15 / 60%

Interest (from me): Zero – I didn’t meet anyone I’d want to spend a couple of hours on a date with.

Results: 11 of the 15 people emailed within the first two days.

Summary:  I got fifteen responses as a stewardess – the average for these events is six YES’s being checked before the matching is done, and three final matches. So at fifteen I’m doing pretty well! Especially since I live so far from everyone, which must have been a deterrent to some. Looks like the stewardess persona was a hit.

Speed Dating: Professional Chef Persona

Speed Dating Event #2: Professional Chef

The Event: Simple Date – age category 28-38

The Persona: Professional Chef

Preparation

Not much preparation needed for this one. Fairly natural makeup and hair down but straight (basically wash and go.) I wore my Diesel jeans and a plain fitted white collared shirt that was cropped at the waist. Overtop, I wore a funky Chanel-type blazer. Simple and elegant but with a touch of personality.

The Schtick

“I’m a sous-chef at Truffles. A sous-chef. No – SOUS. I’m an assistant chef. The restaurant at the Four Seasons. I work there on weekends and I work at Canoe for weekday lunches. No, I don’t really have a specialty – I try to mix it up so I keep learning. About eight years if you count training. At the CIA in New York. Culinary Institute of America. No, it’s about three hours by train from Manhattan. Yeah, it’s a lot of fun.”

The Talent

First, I’ll say not great in the looks department, but we’ll keep an open mind anyway. At least most of the guys were from Toronto this time. There were a few out-of-towners (again, why bother, guys?) but on the whole most were from around Eglinton or Sheppard (about 20-30 min from downtown.) Things were going okay, despite the fact that everyone except for one guy (a doctor!) worked in the computer software or finance industry, until the halfway break whistle when everyone stood up I noticed that half of the men I just talked to were about a foot shorter than me!

Believable?

I didn’t stumble upon any problems until my ‘date’ with a guy who’d managed a restaurant for four years. I bluffed my way through the conversation (yeah, I wish I had a set of Sabatiers, too) and made it through the five minutes unscathed.

The next road bump came when my next ‘date’ just happened to have also attended the last speed dating event I went to (hmmm…) I tried to talk about my flights to London as little as possible for fear that someone would overhear and it would blow my cover. At the end of that endless five minutes, if anyone overheard they didn’t say anything, so I didn’t worry about it.

The last snag hit when I met a fashion editor who just happened to work for a magazine that I had just done a shoot for. And he told me this after I told him I was a professional chef. Yikes! Damage control! I had no choice but to let yet another unsuspecting victim in on my little secret.

The Verdict

Better than the last event but not a great selection in terms of looks or career. Was it worth the $20? Let’s put it this way – if it wouldn’t have been unethical, I would have split at the first break.

Dates: 20

YES responses (from them): 11 / 55%

Interest (from me): Zero – The two guys who seemed like potential date material (the cute blonde guy and the doctor) both lived in the middle of nowhere so the transportation issue arose again.

Results: 9 of the 11 people emailed within the first two days.

Summary: Not bad – especially since the men were older and some may have thought I was too young for them… or maybe I’m just rationalizing about the nine who ticked ‘No’. One thing I didn’t like is that they made the women switch seats after every date instead of the men. In my humble opinion, the men should be the ones moving because the women have purses, skirts, etc. Not to mention that the men could order food because they stayed at one table and the women couldn’t!

Speed Dating: Fashion Model Persona

Speed Dating Event #3: International Fashion Model

The Event: 25 Dates – age category 20-27

The Persona: International Fashion Model

Preparation

First, I expertly applied my makeup, including black eyeliner and a small amount of golden creamy glittery eyeshadow. Next, I flattened my hair with a straightening iron and left it down. Lastly, I slipped on a tight black miniskirt, a black top, a skinny black belt, a black bag and black boots and I’m ready to go.

The Schtick

“Um… I model. Like in commercials and magazines. Uh, yeah. It’s okay… not really something I want to do forever though. Sure – Paris, Milan, Tokyo. I just got back from London. Yeah, it has its perks I guess. Um, maybe the Pepsi commercial I did. It’s on the air right now. What do you do?”

The Talent

As soon as I walked in I noticed a difference. First, the venue was much nicer than any of the others. Secondly, since it is an upscale restaurant and also because it’s a younger age category I think it attracted different people – guys who weren’t desperate but rather came with friends to check it out, meet people and have fun. There were plenty of good-looking guys with cool jobs, including a firefighter, a cop, a university professor with a doctorate, a business journalist working for a very major newspaper, and the owner of a massage clinic (score!)

Believable?

Despite the fact that, well, I am a model, a couple of the guys were like “Um, what do you mean ‘Model’? What kind of model?” Humph. I ran into a few snags throughout the night. The first came when two of the people were guys that I had seen at other events (which meant that I had already told them about a different persona – but I couldn’t remember which one!) I managed to keep cool and talk a little more quietly with them. Thankfully, I don’t think anyone overheard me talking about my trips to London as a flight attendant.

The next snag came when a cute guy in a green soccer jersey sat down in front of me and immediately said, “Didn’t you go on a couple of dates with my roommate?” Um, okay. I can handle this. Only problem is that he came with three friends! And I already had my ‘date’ with one of them. Tricky. So I told him the truth. It’s easier that way… keeping track of all these personas was starting to get confusing anyway!

The Verdict

Great event with much better results. If you have it, worth the $45. I had a fun time chatting with people who I felt were much more my peers then the men at the other events. I didn’t get nearly as tired by the end. This came as a surprise to me because I usually enjoy socializing with older people, however the guys at this event seemed to be on the ball with good careers and an optimistic outlook on life.

Dates: 20 plus two I had seen at one of the previous events.

YES responses (from them): 18 / 90%

Interest (from me): I would consider seeing three or four of the guys again. There were certainly quite a few good-looking guys at this event – including a few who also had pretty interesting jobs.

Results: 14 of the 18 people emailed within the first two days.

Summary: Great event and great results – maybe this had something to do with the fact that it was a younger crowd. Also, my fashion model persona was a huge hit (I wonder why?) It’s hard to say why this event was so much better than the others, but if I had to wager on another event, I would go for a younger crowd and choose the venue carefully.

Speed Dating: Tips

If you’ve never been to a Speed Dating event before, here are a few tips to make your experience more rewarding (literally!)

1. Come prepared. Bring a notepad and make notes on everyone that you like. Frantically scribble down everything you can remember as soon as they stand up – before the next ‘date’, otherwise you’ll likely forget the details, or confuse them with the next date, if you wait. Don’t lose this sheet. Use these notes as a reference when you get the emails pouring in over the next couple of days.

2.  Know what you want. Before you leave the house, think about what you need in a mate. Think about what you’re looking for. Then write down five questions to discover the basics. For example: Where do you live? What do you do for a living? Do you enjoy it? What are your hobbies? Do you like Opera? Do you travel/read/play sports much?

3. Be original. Since pretty much everyone asks the same questions, you’ll have better results and be more memorable if you’re original. Think of an unusual question or a joke you can tell to make people laugh. Believe me, it’ll help break the ice and you’ll end up being the most memorable girl (or guy) there!